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Dating after a breakup


TheGuard13

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I just broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half. Prior to that, about a year ago, I was dating two women for about six months. Prior to that, I was married for three years, and with the same woman for about 10 years.

 

Basically, while I've flirted and gone to lunch and dinner and hung out and even been intimate with various women, it's been a long time since I've really and truly dated. I just usually don't need to, as I tend to be able to get most of the info I need about people from social interaction. And I was bad at it back in the day, what with being a young 'un and all, and wildly insecure, so I just didn't do it much.

 

My current relationship ended because we just sort of drifted apart. There was no physical or emotional intimacy after a while, and about 6 months of relative unhappiness and being unfulfilled. Which was wayyy too long.

 

We "technically" broke up yesterday. I know that mentally and emotionally, what I should be doing is focusing on solidifying myself, adjusting to being single and making plans for the future, but it's already been 9 months since I had any kind of satisfying physical and emotional intimacy (physical including kissing, hugging, etc). I've pretty much been preparing myself mentally for the possibility of this relationship ending for months. So I've already more or less "grieved" for my lost/disappointing relationship.

 

Which tells me that I probably need to just start dating, but not be looking for a longterm relationship right off the bat. There are some options in my social circle and elsewhere. Is there anything inherently mentally unhealthy about just going out there and starting to ask women out, to hang out, etc?

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There is nothing wrong with it as long as you are upfront about not wanting a relationship. Basically, just dont lead people on.

 

I did that a few years ago (just went on dates with a bunch of guys where I didnt necessarily want it to go anywhere) and I usually just mentioned somewhere in convo naturally that I wasnt looking for anything serious.

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