kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 So almost two weeks ago I told my boyfriend who I've been dating for a year and a half that throughout our relationship I've been faking in bed. Basically I have never orgasmed during sex with him but I told him that I didn't wanna hurt him, it was just to make things easier (I told him all this over the phone by the way). I love having sex with him and it doesn't bother me that I can't ***, I wasn't able to tell him that because right away he didn't wanna talk to me. He wasnt rude when he told me but I haven't heard from him in almost two weeks!!!! I know I'm wrong for keeping this a secret for so long and I finally felt like it was time to come clean. I haven't contacted him the whole time hoping he would contact me, plus I wanted to give him space. The last day I texted him which was almost two weeks ago, I told him I really wanted to talk to him because there was more I wanted to tell him but I got nothing. I understand that he is mad and hurt, but does that give him the right to ignore me for almost two weeks??!!!and do I have some right to be upset?? Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 He's not your boyfriend anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 I know I'm wrong for keeping this a secret for so long and I finally felt like it was time to come clean.? Are you sure, or were you faking? Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 He's not your boyfriend anymore. Agree. Hes done with you. Next time be honest from the beginning. Now he can find a woman who knows how to communicate her sexual needs, and you can find a new guy whom youre comfortable enough sharing your sexual needs with. But before you can do that, you need to learn that honest sexual communication is VERY important to a relationship. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 You might as well have just kicked him in the nads. He'll get over it.. Hopefully. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 Yes I was faking my intentions weren't bad:( and I don't know what to do Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Yes I was faking my intentions weren't bad:( and I don't know what to do Sorry, off topic thread spilled over into the dating section. Let him come back if he wants. You guys can find ways of getting you off if he's willing to be open to it. It was probably just a big hit to his ego. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 I know it hurt him but do you think he should be ignoring me for so long?! Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 I know it hurt him but do you think he should be ignoring me for so long?! There is no excuse for him ignoring you for 2 weeks. That's half a month. That's insane. When I don't hear from girls I'm casually dating for that long I get very upset. People in relationships need to communicate every single day unless otherwise specified. This guy is done with you. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 OP, just dont lie about sex stuff with a guy in the future. Im a very attentive and caring lover. Im very generous in bed and do what I can to make sure a girl gets off, be it from oral or intercourse. However I know that orgasms dont always happen (on both ends) and I also know that orgasms from intercourse dont happen for every woman. That being said, Id rather a girl let me know this in the early going. Id rather know shes enjoying what Im doing, and communicating her needs, rather than lie to me. If she cant get off, we will still have enjoyable sex. But to be lied to for 18 months, and then have the bomb dropped on me that my girlfriend always faked our sexual relationship....well Id probably bail too. Its not that you didnt orgasm. Its that you lied...and basically made the guy doubt how much you even desire or enjoy sex with him. Hes probably thinking he can never trust you again if you had him hoodwinked for so long. Mutually enjoyable sex is something most people want...and you only get that with honesty and open communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 That's what I thought idk I even contacted his bestfriend and let him know I'm concerned about him and to ask if he's talked to him and little behold he has recently.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 I understand what your saying I feel absolutely horrible, I mean I was honest at the very beginning but as we progressed he really wanted to help me, but it's totally impossible for me to. So I started faking it to make things easier, which I agree was wrong Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Women don't all intuitively understand how serious an offense this is. You probably didn't realize the magnitude of the crime. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Women don't all intuitively understand how serious an offense this is. You probably didn't realize the magnitude of the crime. It's not the end of the world, probably just hurt his ego. If you can't get off try reading cosmo. They have new ways of getting off every issue. Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 So almost two weeks ago I told my boyfriend who I've been dating for a year and a half that throughout our relationship I've been faking in bed. Basically I have never orgasmed during sex with him but I told him that I didn't wanna hurt him, it was just to make things easier (I told him all this over the phone by the way). I love having sex with him and it doesn't bother me that I can't ***, I wasn't able to tell him that because right away he didn't wanna talk to me. He wasnt rude when he told me but I haven't heard from him in almost two weeks!!!! I know I'm wrong for keeping this a secret for so long and I finally felt like it was time to come clean. I haven't contacted him the whole time hoping he would contact me, plus I wanted to give him space. The last day I texted him which was almost two weeks ago, I told him I really wanted to talk to him because there was more I wanted to tell him but I got nothing. I understand that he is mad and hurt, but does that give him the right to ignore me for almost two weeks??!!!and do I have some right to be upset?? Why do you have a problem to orgasm? My ex GF could not orgasm as well. she has psychological issues. you should see a professional and you should have told him from the beginning. its a very sensitive issue for men as we want to please the woman were with and be great lovers. many guys couldnt give a crap whether the woman orgasms or not, but faking is a horrible blow to the ego. I was talking to a girl at work and she told me about this new BF she's dating and told me he sucks at giving head. so tell him how you like it I said. she said its easier if I fake it. well then youre stupid I said. because its a cycle. he will keep thinking he's doing well, when he's not and youre giving him positive feedback that he's doing it right. but youre not happy and if he finds out its not going to be good. I told my GF if you want it a certain way, tell me, I want to please you. if you dont feel like cummeng then tell me. but giving good head is sensitive because you cant be analog in it and she will cumm. you have to be attentive and stay in tune with her. sometimes its very hard for her to cum and my tongue gets such a work out. I gave head to many women and not all women are the same. one specifically did not like me licking her vagina hole at all or even coming close to her ass. she liked her clit to be sucked and tugged on instead of licking as well. only delicate sucking, and very specific pace. otherwise she cant cumm. but a guy who knows how to give good head is hard to find and in demand. when you love the smell and taste of puwssy you can do it well. not many who do it because they cant get enough of it. I cant get enough of her liquid in my mouth and her smell. my GF knows she cant shower when I come see her. you not telling so long is a very hard blow to him. I wouldnt be surprised if he didnt come back. you should have never said a word and over time teach and tell him how you like it and made the transition smoothly from bad head to good. he would never know and things would be better. you effed up. btw, what else do you need to tell him? and no, you have no right to be upset. Link to post Share on other sites
apple OR orange Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 so, lets get this right... ON THE PHONE "hi, i never cum when we did sex, it wasnt you its me" TEXT "ooo i have more stuff to tell you". Sounds like he worked out from the call, he wasnt doing anything for you, so he doesnt want to talk to you, so yes, you telling him he cant make you cum does give him the right to never talk to you again. It seems you dont understand that telling people there crap in bed will result in them not talking to you anymore, this is reason 101 to never talk to anyone every again. Link to post Share on other sites
IAmRobot Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Wow some people just have no idea what "common sense" is. Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 OP started a riot. Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 I understand what your saying I feel absolutely horrible, I mean I was honest at the very beginning but as we progressed he really wanted to help me, but it's totally impossible for me to. So I started faking it to make things easier, which I agree was wrong I feel strange even anonymously talking about it, but it's impossible for me as well. You must reassure the guy that you love it, even without an orgasm. And don't ever lie. Link to post Share on other sites
iKING Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 I feel strange even anonymously talking about it, but it's impossible for me as well. You must reassure the guy that you love it, even without an orgasm. And don't ever lie. Oh no eggplant, not you too! I bet there's a way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 Idk what's gonna happen, I'm stupid I know Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Women don't all intuitively understand how serious an offense this is. You probably didn't realize the magnitude of the crime. I dont think anyone, male or female, would deal well with finding out their partner of 18 months was faking them out the whole time. I could see women handling it somewhat better than men, but I still think women would check out of the relationship too. Id go as far as to say that a womans sexual ego is much more fragile than a males, because you must consider that its rather expected for a man to orgasm every single time he has any sex. Some girls get really down and drive themselves bonkers if a guy doesnt cum once or a few times. Plenty of threads on the web regarding this. Anyways, at the end of the day, no one should be faking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 I wasn't rude, but I see what ur saying Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgarner2 Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 It wasnt the whole time I told him the very beginning and he hated it, I'm not making excuses. I didn't wanna hurt him. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Well if he couldnt handle it like an adult when you first told him...then sucks for him. Sure I wouldnt like it if a girl couldnt get off with me...but I wouldnt pout or act super disappointed. That just makes her feel pressured and wont help her get her O. My ex was like that with me when I was figuring out what I needed to get off from oral. Shed be disappointed and then the next time Id feel pressured to cum, and that pressure would be counterproductive. A good partner shows that they care about your enjoyment, but doesnt get emotional about it. You have to take a caring "it is what it is" attitude. If Im with a girl, and she tells me "baby I dont think I can cum this time", I just reply "thats ok sweetheart". Then I kiss her and we cuddle. Link to post Share on other sites
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