Friend doesn't want relatipnship anymore.

[Sando13]

I had a close female friend, Basically we have had a fight and she has stated that their was never anything between us and will never be together. She hit me with everything she didn't like.

 

Reasons being we clash and that it is the way I act and handle things and it was my attitude and although I had change other aspects of my life I had not changed the bad qualities.

 

I've stated that we can never just be friends due to my feelings, Basically my heart has been destroyed. I've been so caught up on thinking about her that my entire life which I have ignored is a mess.

 

When we first met everything was great and she stated that if I asked her out she would say yes, As I started to act different and felt that I was getting mixed signals I started to over think about the relationship more. When things started going wrong outside of our friendship I started to act insecure, clingy and more bad aspects.

 

We have gone our own ways now, We used to cuddle and kiss each other and get close. Something tells me that I cannot give up how do I change her mind and what do I do now? At this present time I've told her I'm taking time apart and away, Would 6 months be enough time I know the issues and they need to be fixed or this will happen again even if its not a relationship with her.

[Sando13]

Bump, Really don't know how to handle this.

[Ordinaryday]

Just do what I do. Let her know your feelings for her are too strong to ever settle for being 'just friends' and that if she wants a relationship with you, then great, she should give you a call. but if she can't offer you a relationship then it would be too hard to continue interacting with her and seeing her with other guys, so if she can't offer you a relationship she should respect that you need space and not contact you again.

[todreaminblue]

I had a close female friend, Basically we have had a fight and she has stated that their was never anything between us and will never be together. She hit me with everything she didn't like.

 

Reasons being we clash and that it is the way I act and handle things and it was my attitude and although I had change other aspects of my life I had not changed the bad qualities.

 

I've stated that we can never just be friends due to my feelings, Basically my heart has been destroyed. I've been so caught up on thinking about her that my entire life which I have ignored is a mess.

 

When we first met everything was great and she stated that if I asked her out she would say yes, As I started to act different and felt that I was getting mixed signals I started to over think about the relationship more. When things started going wrong outside of our friendship I started to act insecure, clingy and more bad aspects.

 

We have gone our own ways now, We used to cuddle and kiss each other and get close. Something tells me that I cannot give up how do I change her mind and what do I do now? At this present time I've told her I'm taking time apart and away, Would 6 months be enough time I know the issues and they need to be fixed or this will happen again even if its not a relationship with her.

 

 

if a person doesnt accept who you are and tells you have to change or if it because you didnt change......under your own volition to be with her.....what does that say?

 

 

we all have aspects of ourselves that we want to change its called personal growth and acceptance......BUT if you go into a relationship under the provision to be with that someone you have to change, its like walking against the wind......she should accept your flaws and all and if she doesnt then she is not the right one for you....it has to be all you that wants to change.......not to change to be with someone....but just for you...thats how i know and accept no one should have to change to be with me even if i wanted them to badly so i could be with them.....it wont happen ...they will always revert......unless the change is for them and nothing to do with me....same goes for you and your ex friend.....lifestyle changes physical changes and ....emotional changes....need to be for you no one else..best wishes.deb

[Sando13]

if a person doesnt accept who you are and tells you have to change or if it because you didnt change......under your own volition to be with her.....what does that say?

 

 

we all have aspects of ourselves that we want to change its called personal growth and acceptance......BUT if you go into a relationship under the provision to be with that someone you have to change, its like walking against the wind......she should accept your flaws and all and if she doesnt then she is not the right one for you....it has to be all you that wants to change.......not to change to be with someone....but just for you...thats how i know and accept no one should have to change to be with me even if i wanted them to badly so i could be with them.....it wont happen ...they will always revert......unless the change is for them and nothing to do with me....same goes for you and your ex friend.....lifestyle changes physical changes and ....emotional changes....need to be for you no one else..best wishes.deb

 

Yes we all have flaws, But I believe that 100% she is right. These changes are for me and me alone even if I accepted my flaws and went on about my life the issues would arise again and again.

 

I would have to go back to the friendship with no emotional attachment, She stated I was smothering her and pushing a relationship that she had no interest in after we fought about that she then told me what she didn't like and the reasons why she could not date me so the friendship would have to be natural.

 

After not seeing each other for a month and we started the friendship it was like nothing had happened, Then I pushed the relationship thing again and it got messy. It was stated that it was my attitude towards others and how I handle things.

 

Has anyone else come back from something like this? I have faith and believe we were meant to meet, I've always been able to forgive her in time but when we took the break I was still focusing on her.

Edited March 11, 2013 by Sando13