Tallgirl91 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Hi, I'm 18 years old and I have come to the brunt realization that I am unattractive. I've gone through various stages of how I viewed the world and my niche in it. When I was a freshman I convinced myself that the reason why guys never asked me out was simply because I was tall (6ft). When sophomore year came around and guys were still repelled by me I told myself that in college it would be different and that high school guys didn't understanding my "kind" of beauty. By junior year I was convinced that I was an ugly duckling just waiting to blossom into a thin of beauty. Now I'm a senior and I've never been asked out on a date, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. And it ****in sucks. I've now realized how ugly I am and the implications that fact will have on me for the rest of my life. I'm so bitter about this but also grateful that I realized this before college so that I won't go into it with too high of expectations. My question is how do I let go of all my resentment and just accept being an ugly woman? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I remember you posted a picture the first time I saw you post, and if I remember correctly there was nothing remotely ugly about you . Either way, to address your question - I think that you shouldn't think of yourself as someone or something unattractive, or even necessarily super attractive, but just - neutral. Like, take pride in how you look and be proud of it, but don't overstate it or understate it. If I'm making any sense (it's late here )...... I would advise that you try to view yourself in a more positive light - and try not to take these things to heart. Acceptance is a very hard thing to acquire, and I commend you for trying to accept things (albeit not quite in the way I feel you should). I think that if you think of yourself as ugly, you will probably become quite closed and it will be more difficult for you to date. As I say to many of the guys here who struggle with women, it is better to think of yourself in a more positive light, or at the very least balanced. And accept that it may not happen at this point, or may never, but whatever. I have no tips on acceptance other than to try to meditate, and focus more on the things that make you happy or that you are passionate about. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Aren't there many others in HS who haven't been on a date, been kissed, had a bf or gf? I know I didn't. Not having a car or money is not helpful for the guy. Not being much of a looker doesn't help. It's hard on lots of people. All it takes is one gangly guy that wishes he had a gf and you guys are set. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Hi, I'm 18 years old and I have come to the brunt realization that I am unattractive. I've gone through various stages of how I viewed the world and my niche in it. When I was a freshman I convinced myself that the reason why guys never asked me out was simply because I was tall (6ft). When sophomore year came around and guys were still repelled by me I told myself that in college it would be different and that high school guys didn't understanding my "kind" of beauty. By junior year I was convinced that I was an ugly duckling just waiting to blossom into a thin of beauty. Now I'm a senior and I've never been asked out on a date, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. And it ****in sucks. I've now realized how ugly I am and the implications that fact will have on me for the rest of my life. I'm so bitter about this but also grateful that I realized this before college so that I won't go into it with too high of expectations. My question is how do I let go of all my resentment and just accept being an ugly woman? You know you could actually approach guys and ask them out, and if you get rejected approach another guy and continue on. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I think it's handled a little bit more discreetly than that in school if I recall. Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Hi, I'm 18 years old and I have come to the brunt realization that I am unattractive. I've gone through various stages of how I viewed the world and my niche in it. When I was a freshman I convinced myself that the reason why guys never asked me out was simply because I was tall (6ft). When sophomore year came around and guys were still repelled by me I told myself that in college it would be different and that high school guys didn't understanding my "kind" of beauty. By junior year I was convinced that I was an ugly duckling just waiting to blossom into a thin of beauty. Now I'm a senior and I've never been asked out on a date, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. And it ****in sucks. I've now realized how ugly I am and the implications that fact will have on me for the rest of my life. I'm so bitter about this but also grateful that I realized this before college so that I won't go into it with too high of expectations. My question is how do I let go of all my resentment and just accept being an ugly woman? If you lower your standards, there is sure to be some desperate lonely fat ugly nerdy guy willing to sleep with you in college. Practically every guy in college will do anything to get laid with any women, just find the fattest nerdiest guy out there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 actually tallest gangliest guy for her. Everyone's not a stud muffin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Hi, I'm 18 years old and I have come to the brunt realization that I am unattractive. I've gone through various stages of how I viewed the world and my niche in it. When I was a freshman I convinced myself that the reason why guys never asked me out was simply because I was tall (6ft). When sophomore year came around and guys were still repelled by me I told myself that in college it would be different and that high school guys didn't understanding my "kind" of beauty. By junior year I was convinced that I was an ugly duckling just waiting to blossom into a thin of beauty. Now I'm a senior and I've never been asked out on a date, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend. And it ****in sucks. I've now realized how ugly I am and the implications that fact will have on me for the rest of my life. I'm so bitter about this but also grateful that I realized this before college so that I won't go into it with too high of expectations. My question is how do I let go of all my resentment and just accept being an ugly woman? Tallgirl91 add a photo to your avatar. I bet our attractive. I would date a women that's taller than me. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Tall girl, My best friend is 6'2" with a boyish build. She didn't have a bf until she was 21. She is now 27 and she gets many guys She can pick and choose now. The only thing that really changed is her confidence. It also helps if you find one feature that you like about yourself. I like my eyes even if the rest of me is plain. I play them up with make up so that's what people notice first. Also, as you get older you will fill out and grow more into your looks. I found this especially true with tall girls. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 as many are pointing out I dont think its your looks that the issue at all. I will say that at 6' tall youre going to have a hard time catching guys. im a 6'1" guy and I will not date a tall woman. my cutoff is 170cm, about 5'6" and I adhere to that strictly. I know also that there are tall guys that want to hold onto that height advantage. again, its nothing personal but It makes me feel more masculine. I love it when my lady wears high heels and I still have the height over her. its a personal preference just like a lot of women want a tall guy, I prefer not to date a tall woman. I think you will have to compromise though as there arent many 6'+ tall guys to go around, if youre only looking for a tall guy. but there are great guys everywhere who arent super tall also. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
apple OR orange Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 As with anything on the planet, if you want to ignore something then make sure you dont put yourself in a position to being kept reminded of it. So dont do things that others do to get a partner. So work alot, buy a house, do this house up the way you want it, buy a very nice car, do not go out and meet others...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Also, I forgot to add that my friend started playing volleyball. She was really good at it and eventually played for Australian national team professionally. She said this helped view her height as an advantage.... Link to post Share on other sites
CptObvious Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 no matter how ugly you are there's always one guy out there who's poor and desperate enough to date you. I'd start in a library. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nessaaa Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Do you wear makeup? Do up your hair? Show some legs? Show some boobs? There has to be one sexy quality about you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Geiss Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I'm actually into tall girls, I once went out with a girl that was 6'5". She was taller than me but it didn't bother me because I'm 6'2" and with my shoes I look 6'3". So it's not like I felt short next to her. I always notice tall girls and I actually prefer them. But I still will go out with short girls too. Link to post Share on other sites
runningfar Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 High school can not give anyone an idea of real life. Don't get down on yourself. Lack of confidence will hurt more than anything else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bengal Tiger Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I would totally date you. OP, you are adorable and really need to develop your self esteem and confidence before someone takes advantage of your insecurities. Do you date shorter guys? I've dated 6 foot plus women and their height was not a problem for me. I've seen many couples where the woman is much taller and it works. Besides, I have things on my top cupboards that I need help reaching... From your pic, I bet guys are probably thinking you're way too cute and would reject them. If I were you, I would work on building my character: school, hobbies, friends, etc. to the point where I don't have to base my self worth on getting approval from the opposite sex. And then be in a much healthier mindset to start dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I think you should take your ugliness and go forward. Live fully. Do exactly what you want. Go where you please. Say what you think. If anyone finds you ugly, let them suffer. Link to post Share on other sites
runningfar Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Okay, if you look at her previous photos she has a picture and she is not at all unattractive. The height might be an issue in highschool. You are going to have no looks-related issue with guys in the "real world" As long as you don't let your personality be soured and bitter, it's going to be very, very different world for you. I also wonder, are you in a predominantly white highschool? My friend in high school was black and didn't get many dates. She is a lawyer now and is married, but she she did not have a shortage of offers after high school when she was putting herself through college modeling. (from white or black guys... but guys were kind of... afraid of anything that might set them apart in high school. Which applies certainly to your height. I wonder if this might play a role as well. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Yes, you are too tall for the boys in high school. Once you start college it will not be in issue. It has nothing at all to do with your looks. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 This is a very bad joke. If you are the tall black girl in the photo I would do all kinds of unspeakable nastiness to you. Not only she is not ugly, she is model quality good looking. OP, Do not worry at all. You will definitely be getting guys as you get older. Some taller guys would love a girl your height specially with that body. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Yookie Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 There are plenty of things you can do to make yourself look better. Lots of plain women (even celebrities) use hair,makeup and wardrobe to transform themselves into attractive beauties. 1) Hit the gym an build a better body. If you are still super skinny, get some curves. 2) Get a professional hairstyle/haircut or get a good weave from a professional that can make it look natural and flatter your face. 3) Visit Ulta or a department store and get them to do a makeover. Buy the products they use and practice applying your own makeup to enhance your features. 4) Use Youtube as a resource and women's blogs/forums that talk about health and beauty to get tips and tricks that will help you look and feel better about yourself. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 You're having problems "fully accepting" because you know it's not true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I just saw the pics. WTF - girl you are smokin' hot. Link to post Share on other sites
RachR Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I just saw the pics. WTF - girl you are smokin' hot. Yeah, I know, right! The only thing I can think of is maybe her height is too intimidating for the boys, or she gives off an unapproachable vibe. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts