lovebug333 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 *Sorry this is so long* I have a huge problem. So I've been dating this girl (let's call her Tammy) for a while now. 9/10 months, I'm sure and we made it official back in September. We both go to boarding school and we love to talk a lot! She's pretty, popular, everyone likes her, and I like her a lot. I love her, I'm sure of it. But, back in September, I met this other girl. Well, not really met, more like saw this girl (Let's say her name is Alexie). She's new. She is so nice, polite, and shy+awkward as hell BUT my friends dislike her a lot! They call her weird and dumb and a lot of people call her a liar. In the beginning of the year, she cried a lot to the point where people thought she was emotionally unstable but I think that's only she wasn't used to private school drama. She's not popular at all, but she is so sweet, smart (gullible at times) and cute and I really like her a lot . We haven't actually talked but I've seen her interact with people before since it's such a small school and she is (almost always) beyond nice! I was attracted to her, and deeply in love until my friends shot the thought down. They told me the worse things about her, which I don't think is true in the back of my mind, but I went with Tammy. Tammy's best friend Brye goes to my school too so if I make a move on Alexie, Brye and her friends at our school will freak out! Did I mention Tammy likes to push me away sometimes when she's irritated? But once we break up and she notices I'm falling out of love with her, she either texts me posts a picture of us on either instagram or tumblr saying that she misses me and it was a mistake! I always fall for it too because my friends push me to it. This past month she even went to my school as a surprise! I was really happy to see her, but at the same time... what about Alexie? Do I just let her leave my life? What if she was my future wife? What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
aribox Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Aw, Lovebug, you've been bitten by the lovebug twice! Everyone has a situation like this at least once in their lifetime, and each has a different solution. It seems to me the way you talk about Alexie makes me feel like you really do love her and you're just in a relationship with Tammy because you just care for her as a friend and you don't want to break her heart. Also I think you're friends are just pushing it. I know they might be your best friends but they don't know what's best for you. You know what's best for you! I say go for Alexie, because I feel she'd treat you better then Tammy, but that's just me ! Do what makes you the happiest at the end! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebug333 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 You have to make a decision for yourself. Some times you have to let one door close in order to open another. If I lose Tammy, I'll lose some of my friends; including her, even if she pushes me away alot, I still care for some reason. And like I said, Alexie isn't very well liked. She's a big dork and hangs out with the "unpopulars" at my school, not that I care but a lot of people in my group will. I do love Alexie, but it's a huge risk. I know for a fact she'll be real with me and hella sweet, but still. I guess I should close the door on Tammy ... ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebug333 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 I'll tell you about my situation and maybe you can gain some perspective on yours, ad it aligns with what th3 says above. So, there's a girl that I've had a thing for for close to 10 years. Won't go into detail, because ive already posted the story here on this forum. Well, things started to very vaguely and very slowly happen, but there was a lot of clutter that needed to be cleared away before anything could actually happen. Well, while I was sitting back watching this 'thing' flow along like a glacier, somebody pretty amazing came into my life. Like me, she had just gotten out of a very long relationship, although they were never married and never had kids. We've known each other since outlet teen years (she's a few years younger than me). Well, we got back in touch with each other and we live VERY close to each other. Got together for drinks, and it was game over. Instant spark, instant intimacy. But we had both just gotten out of very long relationships and really wanted nothing to do with being in a relationship with each other. So, we constructed a nice 'arrangement', where we could spend time together and enjoy each other's company, friendship and intimacy, but it was established it would never go anywhere. Well, naturally, it became complicated. Feelings developed, on both sides. For me, I became conflicted because I was slowly putting something together with this other girl who just blows me away on so many levels. But here's the new girl in the 'arrangement'. She is beautiful, intelligent, educated, motivated, incredible body, sexy as hell, chic, daddy, funny....a girl I should be thankful to have in my life period, much less in the capacity I'm involved with her in. But, no matter how amazing she is, she's not the other girl. To me, nobody is. So, you know what I did? I walked. Had to. I just cut it off. Hardest thing in the world to do, especially because there is still so much uncertainty with the other girl. But she is the one I want, anf she's the hand that I'm willing to put all my chips in on. It's hard, but you gotta pick. Your heart and your mind will tell you which one to pick. My mind and heart is saying Alexie, but Tammy and I have history (some good moments, some bad moments). Both girls have hella problems, so both have "chips". Alexie's younger too, but really smart and beautiful and won't push people away. So I guess I should choose girl #2? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovebug333 Posted February 9, 2013 Author Share Posted February 9, 2013 Aw, Lovebug, you've been bitten by the lovebug twice! Everyone has a situation like this at least once in their lifetime, and each has a different solution. It seems to me the way you talk about Alexie makes me feel like you really do love her and you're just in a relationship with Tammy because you just care for her as a friend and you don't want to break her heart. Also I think you're friends are just pushing it. I know they might be your best friends but they don't know what's best for you. You know what's best for you! I say go for Alexie, because I feel she'd treat you better then Tammy, but that's just me ! Do what makes you the happiest at the end! I think I'm gonna go for Alexie as soon as I get the chance. Everything is telling me her,except for my friends. My friends don't even know her, either. I think she likes me too. She's always staring me, but not a love stare- more of a confused stare. I think it's because I stare at her too without knowing it. I don't know. She's not looking for a "regular" relationship either. She wants a interesting one and I'm just a confused teenage boy. Any other suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
aribox Posted February 9, 2013 Share Posted February 9, 2013 Bud, you keep going back to Alexie in all of your posts. Obviously, she's the one for you! Who cares if she's in another clique? Another background? Who knows? You guys might have a lot of common! And if you're saying you've liked her since September, it's obviously not just a crush! It's something more, sweetie and for your friends to repeatedly put your future love down is disgusting. If she hangs out with the unpopulars, nothing is wrong with her. No ***** would be caught with them. Good luck, make the right choice! Link to post Share on other sites
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