kaylan Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 This thread is sort of a response thread to this thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/370837-do-men-really-prefer-doing-chasing I know Im one of the guys out there who enjoys a woman who can be as equally assertive or as laid back as I am. Which means that instead of one person taking a passive role, while the other takes an aggressive role...we both actually follow one anothers lead. Guys do enjoy, dare I say many of us prefer women who know how to go after what they want. Girls who sit back and make me do all the work dont end up having me feel as valued as the girls who actively pursue me while I pursue them as well. All in all, I put effort into my mind, body, appearance, personality, etc...and guys want to feel like a prize to be won sometimes too. Maybe some of the girls Ive dated have spoiled me...but once you date someone who make you feel of much value...you have less patience for the gals who sit back and barely put in work...while expecting you to win them over. Remember guys, women have to win you over too. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I really enjoy showing my interest in a guy, to guys that I can tell are into me. It is really enjoyable, when both parties are clearly into/interested in each other, and they have a lot of fun making with mutual diaplays of interest Initially, I have to lay off things until we both know we are into each other. Once it is obvious there is a mutual interest, I have no problem and very much ENJOY flirting and just... surprising each other with " hey how are you" type messages. It is about give and take: I mean, if a guy is into me, then of course he will text and call me, and therefore why the heck wouldnt I want to do the same with him? It depends on their personality type too: some girls are quiet and reserved, and good looking enough so that enough guys have put in the effort, so they have never really had to get out of their comfort zone and really put that much effort into the courting process. I am sure there are plenty of women who appear cold and aloof, who are actually really into you, yet you would never know! I think it is important though, that you can both see clear signs of interest, otherwise I can't blame people for giving up.. People are not mind readers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 You're right Kaylan, For me, there are the important moves that in my heart, I know should be the man. The man is the prize, the greatest of all prizes, and should be shown that... Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I do NOT enjoy being pursued by women who are pretty much the opposite of what I'm attracted to. It's said that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade... but when life gives me durians, what the hell am I supposed to do with the damn things??? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I've gotten all my boyfriends by pursuing them. When I was younger I would do the girly shy thing but that didn't work so well. So I learned to approach the guys that I was really into. And I give presents once they're mine. I am a giver. Just comes naturally to me to pursue someone I am interested in and then show them that I appreciate them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Only approached by certain girls though. V made a great thread awhile back which brought this up Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 OP I agree with you The traditional notions of what dating is supposed to be like is antiquated and desperately needs a change but women cling to them because they hate the idea of no longer being approached all the time and having as many options as they want without doing any work/plus the idea of having to face rejection Dating should be about 50-50 really Well i agree, but that's never going to happen and you just have to accept it the way it is. Guys chase women. That's the way it is, that's the way it will always be Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I agree with you Kaylan. Well, I'm not gonna ask a guy out on a first date or anything but I have no problem approaching him first. I have always been very 50/50 in my relationships, as "traditional" as I am in some sense of relationships, doing the grunt work of asking/paying isn't one of those areas (except first date...which I'll pay on but won't ask LOL). I'm not going to "chase" a guy any more than he chases me, but I'm also not going to sit back and watch him put in all the effort, like I said 50/50 has always worked for me. It's never really been much of a conscious thought though...it just flows that way when I am with someone I am legit interested in. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Well, of course men enjoyed being valued! IMO, people have an odd idea of what "chasing" looks like. It shouldn't be one-sided. It's more like action-reaction. But the "action" can be what sets you apart in a woman's eyes, and sparks her "reaction". Without action, that woman you fancy may not even notice you that way. Or she might....but why wait and find out, if you like her? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I am sorry but only on LS are people under some preconceived notion that good relationships aren't 50/50 by each partner. Keyword "good" Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted February 2, 2013 Author Share Posted February 2, 2013 I do NOT enjoy being pursued by women who are pretty much the opposite of what I'm attracted to. It's said that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade... but when life gives me durians, what the hell am I supposed to do with the damn things??? lolol...I dont think anyone likes being pursued by someone they dont fancy at all. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 lolol...I dont think anyone likes being pursued by someone they dont fancy at all. Well, I wouldn't say "don't like". It can be pretty flattering. I've been pursued by girls I didn't feel the same for. I would say at the very worst, it makes you a bit uncomfortable...but still...a woman putting herself out there, in front of everyone, and if she's attractive as well. Not a bad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Well, of course men enjoyed being valued! IMO, people have an odd idea of what "chasing" looks like. It shouldn't be one-sided. It's more like action-reaction. But the "action" can be what sets you apart in a woman's eyes, and sparks her "reaction". Without action, that woman you fancy may not even notice you that way. Or she might....but why wait and find out, if you like her? Chasing means person A moving towards person B, and person B moving away from person A. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 "Being valued" isn't just about chasing either. I like it when a girl I'm talking to actually listens to what I say when I'm with them or actually sounds interested in what I'm saying (and I always return the favor of course). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Yeah, chasing indicates the attraction is strictly one way. Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 ! But the "action" can be what sets you apart in a woman's eyes, and sparks her "reaction". Without action, that woman you fancy may not even notice you that way. Or she might....but why wait and find out, if you like her? If she doesnt notice me that way then i move on im not gonna beg and try to convince someone to be attracted to me Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you guys have been "chasing" women who run in the other direction, you are definitely doing it wrong! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you guys have been "chasing" women who run in the other direction, you are definitely doing it wrong! They don't always run. Sometimes it's a brisk stroll... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you guys have been "chasing" women who run in the other direction, you are definitely doing it wrong! Hey it worked for Pepe Le Pew! Or did it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted February 2, 2013 Author Share Posted February 2, 2013 Chasing means person A moving towards person B, and person B moving away from person A. :laugh::laugh: True I guess Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you guys have been "chasing" women who run in the other direction, you are definitely doing it wrong! No. The problem is the word chase. Men approaching, initiating, showing interest, is not the same as chasing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Guys do enjoy, dare I say many of us prefer women who know how to go after what they want. Girls who sit back and make me do all the work dont end up having me feel as valued as the girls who actively pursue me while I pursue them as well. IMO, men are turned on the most by girls who are actively going after WHAT (not WHO) they want in life. A girl who is actively engaged in the relentless pursuit of perfection in doing whatever she loves - whether it's horseback riding, throwing parties, running a company. Men who are already attracted to her physically will fall hard for this approach, and make it their life's mission to attract her attention and maybe transfer some of that "value" focus onto them. I've never seen men act more... alive than in this scenario. Conversely, I've never seen it work when a girl is chasing after a WHO (a guy). Never. My 2 cents. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Show interest. Make me feel special. Give me the impression that you like my company and I'll ask you out. The best thing a woman can do with a man she is interested in, is convey to him that it's OK to ask her out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 No. The problem is the word chase. Men approaching, initiating, showing interest, is not the same as chasing. But it is just an old word for approaching, initiating, and showing interest in women. Men used to love chasing women. So much so, they didn't stop even after they married 3 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Valued for sure. Not sure about chased. There's only been one woman I can think of where coming on to me worked and that was because I thought she was unavailable at the time. Normally if my penis isn't making me chase you then I don't really want you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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