Need some with roommate situation

[vamos_azol]

Firstly I’d like to apologize for the large amount of text. This is something that’s been bugging me for a while now and I really need to get this off my chest.

 

I first met this girl about a year ago when we were both English tutors at the local community college that we attended. When we both finished our two years at the community college, as it turned out we were both transferring to the local state university as well as moving to the university town. When she found out I was transferring to the same university, she asked if I wanted to consider being her roommate and sharing an apartment, and since neither of us knew anyone else living there, I obliged. We looked at some places, and we ended up moving into an apartment not far from campus with four other roommates that we didn’t know.

 

As the semester progressed, we spent more and more time together, and now we hang out pretty much every single weekday after classes. We constantly go out to eat, see movies, take walks through the park, do homework, and smoke a lot of herb together. Seriously, this girl became one of my best friends, but things between us started to get flirtier. She began to stare at me longer, playfully throw stuff at me, make flirty little jokes, always ask for help with homework, invite me everywhere (her birthday party for example) and always knock on my door to ask if I wanted to hang. It was almost never me initiating the hangout seshes because I really never had a chance to. She always beat me to it. Anyway, besides the above, a few more things made me suspect that she had an attraction for me:

 

• One of our roommates made a joke about us dating to her, which she brought up to me and said she thought it was funny

• A couple weeks ago she told me that the first time she ever talked to me was because she thought I was cute

• Told me that she “didn’t expect someone who looked like ‘that’ to be so nice.”

• When in my room, said “they [other roommates] probably think we’re up to something in here”

• “We could go to the local sauna, but people go there to have sex, though that’s not what we’d use it for”

• “How do you say ‘sex’ in Spanish? How do you say ‘horny?’”

• When studying Spanish together she had to describe a friend for homework “Jordan es muy guapo”

 

Rewind back to a week before school starts and she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend dumped her when she moved, and though she likes to tell me how terrible he is, she had him spend the night last night. She’s been pretty much separated from him this whole time, though I’m sure she’s been talking to him on the phone at least, so she obviously still cares about him. Why she’s been acting overly-friendly with me while still holding onto this guy, I don’t know. The thing is that I’ve felt myself getting closer to her this whole time, which I’ve vehemently fought because she’s my roommate and I don’t wanna crap where I eat. Nevertheless, in the past week she’s been treating me like I’m her ****ing boyfriend with all her nitpicking about stupid things and it’s pissing me off – for example, she told me I “need to learn how to be a real man” or some bull**** because I didn’t know where her windshield sprayers were on her car so she could knock the snow off of them (she didn’t know where they were either). Now that I see she’s getting back involved with her ex, and that she’s beginning to nag me about trivial things, I find myself losing the friendly attraction (as well as the romantic attraction) I’ve had for her, and thus the desire to spend time with her.

 

What the hell is wrong with this situation here? What does this girl want from me – friendship, or something more? I’d like to think that she’s real and genuinely considers me her friend, but part of me thinks that she just wants attention from someone she considers a good-looking guy when she’s not with her boyfriend; a “mini-boyfriend” so to speak, to stroke her ego. Is it normal to spend so much time with someone whom you flirt with while remaining platonic? Does she want me to shove her against the wall and kiss her impulsively or something? Am I misreading her signals? What can I do to find out what she wants and/or keep her friendship at the least, while getting her to once again to respect me and stop nagging me? What the hell should I do?

[miss_jaclynrae]

Firstly I’d like to apologize for the large amount of text. This is something that’s been bugging me for a while now and I really need to get this off my chest.

 

I first met this girl about a year ago when we were both English tutors at the local community college that we attended. When we both finished our two years at the community college, as it turned out we were both transferring to the local state university as well as moving to the university town. When she found out I was transferring to the same university, she asked if I wanted to consider being her roommate and sharing an apartment, and since neither of us knew anyone else living there, I obliged. We looked at some places, and we ended up moving into an apartment not far from campus with four other roommates that we didn’t know.

 

As the semester progressed, we spent more and more time together, and now we hang out pretty much every single weekday after classes. We constantly go out to eat, see movies, take walks through the park, do homework, and smoke a lot of herb together. Seriously, this girl became one of my best friends, but things between us started to get flirtier. She began to stare at me longer, playfully throw stuff at me, make flirty little jokes, always ask for help with homework, invite me everywhere (her birthday party for example) and always knock on my door to ask if I wanted to hang. It was almost never me initiating the hangout seshes because I really never had a chance to. She always beat me to it. Anyway, besides the above, a few more things made me suspect that she had an attraction for me:

 

• One of our roommates made a joke about us dating to her, which she brought up to me and said she thought it was funny

• A couple weeks ago she told me that the first time she ever talked to me was because she thought I was cute

• Told me that she “didn’t expect someone who looked like ‘that’ to be so nice.”

• When in my room, said “they [other roommates] probably think we’re up to something in here”

• “We could go to the local sauna, but people go there to have sex, though that’s not what we’d use it for”

• “How do you say ‘sex’ in Spanish? How do you say ‘horny?’”

• When studying Spanish together she had to describe a friend for homework “Jordan es muy guapo”

 

Rewind back to a week before school starts and she has a boyfriend. Her boyfriend dumped her when she moved, and though she likes to tell me how terrible he is, she had him spend the night last night. She’s been pretty much separated from him this whole time, though I’m sure she’s been talking to him on the phone at least, so she obviously still cares about him. Why she’s been acting overly-friendly with me while still holding onto this guy, I don’t know. The thing is that I’ve felt myself getting closer to her this whole time, which I’ve vehemently fought because she’s my roommate and I don’t wanna crap where I eat. Nevertheless, in the past week she’s been treating me like I’m her ****ing boyfriend with all her nitpicking about stupid things and it’s pissing me off – for example, she told me I “need to learn how to be a real man” or some bull**** because I didn’t know where her windshield sprayers were on her car so she could knock the snow off of them (she didn’t know where they were either). Now that I see she’s getting back involved with her ex, and that she’s beginning to nag me about trivial things, I find myself losing the friendly attraction (as well as the romantic attraction) I’ve had for her, and thus the desire to spend time with her.

 

What the hell is wrong with this situation here? What does this girl want from me – friendship, or something more? I’d like to think that she’s real and genuinely considers me her friend, but part of me thinks that she just wants attention from someone she considers a good-looking guy when she’s not with her boyfriend; a “mini-boyfriend” so to speak, to stroke her ego. Is it normal to spend so much time with someone whom you flirt with while remaining platonic? Does she want me to shove her against the wall and kiss her impulsively or something? Am I misreading her signals? What can I do to find out what she wants and/or keep her friendship at the least, while getting her to once again to respect me and stop nagging me? What the hell should I do?

 

 

 

You are what I call the ego boosting friend.

You make her feel good, you are both friends, and flirting comes natural.

 

 

That being said, as long as the ex is in the picture you will be JUST FRIENDS.

Unless you try to play the nice guy role and give her advice on just leaving him because she deserves better and "blah blah blah".

 

 

In that case, its kind of up to you as to where you want things to go. You have a chance though if you want a relationship.