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The definition of a Hopeless Romantic


Lonely Ronin

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According to Urban dictionary.

 

Hopeless Romantics are NOT Hopeless per-say, but very true, caring, and loving people. They are "NOT MADE FOR TODAYS STANDARDS", sadly. They believe in passion, chivalry, and true love. They have loved sincerely at one point in their life, discovered what love feels like, and can't understand why it was not returned in the same form. Hopeless Romantics are usually dreamers, idealists, and sincere, however what they expect in any relationship is a full return for their effort and caring, to be loved as much as they loved. What makes them "Hopeless" is the fact that they are few and far between in todays daily life, and usually get let down in the long run, even though they gave all they had to give, money, love, time, housing, belongings. Hopeless Romantics give 100% ALL the time, and hope for the same in return.

 

I find this both sad, and kind of depressing.

 

What do you think?

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According to Urban Dictionary, one of the meanings of my actual name is, "

(adj.) -of or pertaining to extreme awesomeness; usually high in energy and spastic;

(n.) -a person who runs to concrete slabs for no reason"

 

Wait...that may be true. What are we talking about again?

 

Oh, hopeless romantics. I don't know. I'm not even sure I understand the question. I think that definition can be applied to some people, but there are others who may have part of the definition that can apply to them, but not the rest. Some don't match at all.

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I consider myself a hopeless romantic. Or more so, a hybrid.

 

I do things that are classically romnatic, as I spoke about a while back in great detail about how I approach dating. I like to do things that are out of the norm, spontaneous, exciting, etc. Sitting on the couch watching Netflix is not what I do. If you're looking for that guy, I'm not him. I'm (well, try to be) the guy you read about in romance novels or see in movies.

 

Where I break off from the hopeless romantic thing is when it comes to multi dating. I assume most men who do what I do put their focus on one woman. I do it with multiple women. So I can see how some wouldn't view that as "romantic" since traditional dating is one man, one woman. Not one man, several women.

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I'm more of a "hopeful" romantic, than a "hopeless" one :laugh:.

 

But yeah, I'm the type to go all in.

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todreaminblue
According to Urban dictionary.

 

 

 

I find this both sad, and kind of depressing.

 

What do you think?

 

True....so true

 

 

I am a hopeless romantic, who lives in the real world so that is what makes me hopeless.....

 

I keep posting one day...i say that a lot.....one day ...

 

the truth is.....i have less hope of finding romance than i have ever had before.....i am disillusioned in the sense i have always had an instinct about romance and where i know it is I get that feeling that happy goofy dreamy spark ...nto very often in fact hardly ever........my instinct has proven me wrong....I think my expectations are not in reality and more a whisper of a dream i had that should have disappeared long ago, its tempting to remain in daydreams, but reality has a resounding knock when it visits...a knock that cannot be ignored...........deb

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I am a hopeless romantic in that I truly believe that I fall for people based on their minds, souls, spirits and how I connect with them. While it seems many many people pick someone based just on how they look or worse how they will increase their social capitol.

 

I am hopeless in that I think if people picked a partner based more on the mind, and character of the person and less on their abs they would be happier. Only to see one miserable relationship after the other among so many of my piers.

 

Lastly I am hopeless in that deep down I don't have real hope of finding someone to really love me 100% or even 51%. Sometimes it feels like my only option are to be a total girly girl of a tranny and pretend to be totally into hair clothes and makeup and not know science. (I've had more than one male admirer tell me my ability to discuss science and politics is unattractive). That is my only option because that group is almost the totality of people who are out and comfortable with being attracted to transwomen like me. Which leads me to the conclusion that no one would ever love me totally. They will either love the image of me as a dolled up, painted up brown barbie with a *ock and not know my mind or they will love my mind.

 

I settled for that kind of attention once, never again.

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I'd say I'm the hopeless type, because I won't even ask you out if you don't check off a couple of my requirements. If I come across a deal breaker, I usually end it right away. As i don't want to waste any more of my time, or anymore of the woman in questions time either.

 

I know what I want, I know what I need, and I know what negative traits I can handle.

 

Something a fellow LS member just kind of dropped it in my lap the other day, while discussing the last woman I was dating, got me thinking about a lot of my past relationships. After a few days of thinking about it, i can say I have seen this in several of my past relationships and it scares me. I have a lot (maybe all) of the qualities of a hopeless romantic, and a lot of the qualities of "the guy women want to date".

 

The problem is as a fellow LS member said it "the guy women want to date" is held on to even if the woman in question isn't feeling it, for any number of reasons. I've been thinking about this a lot the last couple of days, it a concern to me for two reasons.

 

She stays in my life for one reason or another, but she doesn't respect me enough to let me go, even though she doesn't ever see anything long term coming of it. The other issue is trust, I think I'm becoming a lot more weary of trusting the next woman's intentions, because of the previous ones.

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Feelin Frisky

It's just a figure of speech for someone who is unlucky in romance but keeps holding out for blissful permanent fulfillment. Like moi. ;) *prepares for next wrenching heart-break*

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She stays in my life for one reason or another, but she doesn't respect me enough to let me go, even though she doesn't ever see anything long term coming of it. The other issue is trust, I think I'm becoming a lot more weary of trusting the next woman's intentions, because of the previous ones.

 

Would you mind a hug? Because, I feel your pain.

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They believe in passion, chivalry, and true love.

 

:lmao: Please. Do not get me started on this stuff... My ex claimed he believed in chivalry, passion, etc. He was lazy and boring as a f*cking log, though, and I think he had unreasonable expectations / this fantasy because he just wasn't emotionally available -- he wasn't interested/emotionally ready for a relationship and being loved. A lot of the time, these high expectations have more to do with your subconscious fear of love/relationships to begin with.

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I am a PROUD member of the hopeless romantic world! I never regret being one and the alternative is too cynical and mistrusting for my taste. I'm looking for another HR. Studies show that HRs live longer, married longer, etc. :)

 

And, oh, once married to another HR! Fantastic 12-yr marriage! :) Want it again!

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:lmao: Please. Do not get me started on this stuff... My ex claimed he believed in chivalry, passion, etc.

 

Telling you, and actually being/believing is completely different.

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Telling you, and actually being/believing is completely different.

No -- he actually did believe in it. But, because he also believed in all the other stuff, most of which are unattainable, he could never put any of it into practice, well, because, I wasn't "the One". The thing is there is no "the One", someone that you are "meant" to be with. I laugh at the idea that there is someone out there that God "created" for you. That is bull****. There is no such thing as the perfect person one will fall in love with and have this deep, passionate, undying love for. The "spark" , as it's called, is overrated -- everyone has the honeymoon phase, and it just dies off -- the phase is bound to end at some point; but there are people who claim that if that phase ends, the person they are with was never "the One." I hope you can see the problem with that. One of my good friends is going to divorce his wife, and leave his 2 young children, because he claims he no longer feels the "spark" with his wife. IMO, he's suffering from a mental illness. That is just not normal/reasonable behaviour, that expectation that the "spark" would never be reduced or eventually die off once you settle into a certain routine.

 

I repeat: I think people have these unreasonable expectations / this fantasy because they just aren't emotionally available -- they aren't interested in or emotionally ready for a relationship and being loved. A lot of the time, these high expectations have more to do with your subconscious fear of love/relationships to begin with.

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I'm looking for another HR. Studies show that HRs live longer, married longer, etc. :)

 

And, oh, once married to another HR! Fantastic 12-yr marriage! :) Want it again!

 

That's an excellent point. I wonder if a HR can only find fulfillment with another HR. I think my most successful relationships were with people who also give a 100% as me. I feel like colder people can't understand my intensity.

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I wasn't "the One" [/b], and probably also because, well, there is no such thing as the perfect person one will fall in love with and have this deep, passionate love for (the "spark" , as it's called, is overrated -- everyone has the honeymoon phase, and it just dies off -- the phase is bound to end at some point; but there are people who claim that if that phase ends, the person they are with was never "the One."

 

I'm a realist, and I don't believe in the one. there is roughly 3 billion women on the planet, and while I'm probably not compatible with most of them, I'm sure I'm very compatible with 10s of millions of them.

 

I also think the Honeymoon phase thing is kind of BS, as that's someone overlooking the others flaws. I'm very watchful for flaws I consider a deal breaker. I'm very grounded when it comes to picking potential partners.

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I'm a realist, and I don't believe in the one. there is roughly 3 billion women on the planet, and while I'm probably not compatible with most of them, I'm sure I'm very compatible with 10s of millions of them.

 

I also think the Honeymoon phase thing is kind of BS, as that's someone overlooking the others flaws. I'm very watchful for flaws I consider a deal breaker. I'm very grounded when it comes to picking potential partners.

The honeymoon phase doesn't mean overlooking someone's flaws. But there is no perfect human being, and everyone has flaws. Deal-breaking flaws are a different thing altogether, and I am not talking about people who break up because of those. However, a "hopeless romantic" is someone who is unreasonable. His choices and expectations are not grounded in reality. He is also the type of person who is probably going through some sort of a "crisis" (call it mid-life crisis or whatever), who wants excitement and drama, in order to "feel", and to "feel young." They hate the routine same-old boring life , going home to their "boring" wife or gf, they want the (temporary) excitement and drama of new-found "love", and once it, too, becomes boring, they attribute it to the fact that, she, too, wasn't "the one." Rinse, repeat. These people are perpetually unhappy, for the most part. Do you ever wonder why, even in fiction, the hopeless romantic is always ends in tragedy? The psychology of these people is very much rooted in self-pity and victimization.

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That's an excellent point. I wonder if a HR can only find fulfillment with another HR. I think my most successful relationships were with people who also give a 100% as me. I feel like colder people can't understand my intensity.

I am a very INTENSE person -- when I love someone, I love almost too much. I don't think that necesarily makes me a "hopeless romantic", though (see above post for what I think are the characteristics of a hopeless romantic)..

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a "hopeless romantic" is someone who is unreasonable. His choices and expectations are not grounded in reality.

 

My expectations are very reasonable. The essence of my expectations is as follows.

 

1. I'm attracted to her

2. she is attracted to me

3. we get a long well together, and have some stuff in common

4. she wants to be with me

 

 

He is also the type of person who is probably going through some sort of a "crisis" (call it mid-life crisis or whatever), who wants excitement and drama, in order to "feel", and to "feel young."

 

I fing hate drama, that's the fastest way possible to get me to dump you. I get plenty of excitement from my hobbies and interests. Iv'e broken several bones, seen my life flash before my eyes a few times, and been on fire once. I have plenty of excitement in my life provided by my adrenaline hobbies. I have artistic hobbies that let me express my self, and nerdy/philosophical one that let me expand my mind. I don't need a woman to provide any of this for me.

 

I'm squared away in other parts of my life as well. I'm out and about 2 to 5 times a week, so I don't need a woman to provide me with a social life. I can usually cook better than most of the women I have dated, and I'm pretty stylish, so I don't need a woman to take care of me or fix me.

 

About the only thing that's not already as I want it in my life, is the passion and romance side. And That kind of requires another person. I have been working pretty hard at that, and guess what I'm not the one who has been doing the dumping recently.

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That's an excellent point. I wonder if a HR can only find fulfillment with another HR. I think my most successful relationships were with people who also give a 100% as me. I feel like colder people can't understand my intensity.

 

edgygirl, I know exactly what you mean! The intensity that people like us exude is much too much for most. I find most women simply incapable of keeping up! :)

 

BTW, my wife past away, so, needless to say, would be with her forever and I wouldn't be on LS- LOL!

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JuneJulySeptember

My idea of a hopeless romantic is Tom from 500 days of summer. He's attracted to a woman, but plays it cool and then slowly finds out that they have things in common. Then, when he's emotionally invested, he thinks she's the one.

 

Sometimes I see these "What do I do?" posts from these guys asking what they should do, there's a gal in their college class who is nice and cool. Should they go up to her with a guitar and start singing a love song? To me, that's romantic. That's how I used to be too until rejection from women killed it quick.

 

Now I'm like, "If she's a grocery clerk, she might give me a shot." But back in the day, I used to be very, very romantic.

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My expectations are very reasonable. The essence of my expectations is as follows.

 

1. I'm attracted to her

2. she is attracted to me

3. we get a long well together, and have some stuff in common

4. she wants to be with me

 

 

 

 

I fing hate drama, that's the fastest way possible to get me to dump you. I get plenty of excitement from my hobbies and interests. Iv'e broken several bones, seen my life flash before my eyes a few times, and been on fire once. I have plenty of excitement in my life provided by my adrenaline hobbies. I have artistic hobbies that let me express my self, and nerdy/philosophical one that let me expand my mind. I don't need a woman to provide any of this for me.

 

I'm squared away in other parts of my life as well. I'm out and about 2 to 5 times a week, so I don't need a woman to provide me with a social life. I can usually cook better than most of the women I have dated, and I'm pretty stylish, so I don't need a woman to take care of me or fix me.

 

About the only thing that's not already as I want it in my life, is the passion and romance side. And That kind of requires another person. I have been working pretty hard at that, and guess what I'm not the one who has been doing the dumping recently.

Then IMO you are not a "hopeless romantic." :confused: A hopeless romantic is not someone who just is looking for someone to have a romantic relationship with / spend the next decade or more (or the rest ) of their life with.. That's what most normal people (of a certain age range) want , even in this day and age.

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Then IMO you are not a "hopeless romantic." :confused: A hopeless romantic is not someone who just is looking for someone to have a romantic relationship with / spend the next decade or more (or the rest ) of their life with.. That's what most normal people (of a certain age range) want , even in this day and age.

 

What would you call me then, because several women friends, gf, dates etc have called me this over the years?

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What would you call me then, because several women friends, gf, dates etc have called me this over the years?

Um , just a normal guy looking for a life partner? :confused: Women (and people in general) like using big fat expressions like that, without even knowing what it really is supposed to mean, just because they came across a guy who is genuinely interested in a serious, committed relationship. I realize that people like us, who are looking for love, appear to be an increasingly rare "animal", which may be why people call you a "hopeless romantic." But what people today refer to as a "hopeless romantic" is not what is really meant by the term.

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IMO, a hopeless romantic is someone who will settle for nothing less than TWOO LOVE :love:

 

Every time someone talks about leagues, numerical ratings, income levels, height, weight, or abs with regard to dating, a hopeless romantic loses its wings :(

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