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Am I being lied to?


Confused517

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I have been dating this guy for a month. He takes me out on very well planned, romantic dates. We talk every day. Recently, a friend of a mutual friend said she has been seeing said guy for some time. She shared various text messages of him saying things like he doesn't like me. When I approached him about the situation he claimed they hadn't been together for a while and he said that in order to keep her at bay so she didn't try to ruin what we have. I do not know the girl, I have only met her once. The question is, who do I believe? We have not discussed boundaries or that seeing other people is or isn't ok, so technically if it were true, he wouldn't be wrong but am I being lied to about the situation? Or is this a situation (and guy) I should walk away from entirely?

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If you don't know the girl that well, and she's not your friend then I think it's a case of her being jealous. I think the best thing to do would be to ask each of them to come out to a place to meet without telling them that the other will be there. Confront both of them and see what each of their reactions are.

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Since he seems to be treating you well and things seem to be cogent otherwise, I would ignore the other woman completely while at the same time proceeding cautiously with this guy. You know where her motivation comes from. What you have to figure out is whether this guy remains in contact, perhaps stringing her along, or perhaps he's treating her as a FWB and she wants a full relationship. Whatever it is, you need to let it play out before you allow yourself to become attached to this guy. You didn't say anything about sex, but I'd be putting the brakes on in that department until you know what's going on and where you stand with him, and he with her. And when he asks just say due to (whateverhernameis) I'm not sure exactly what our situation is, so I'm slowing it down. This will basically put him in the position of needing to clarify things with you and put her in her place.

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I have been dating this guy for a month. He takes me out on very well planned, romantic dates. We talk every day. Recently, a friend of a mutual friend said she has been seeing said guy for some time. She shared various text messages of him saying things like he doesn't like me. When I approached him about the situation he claimed they hadn't been together for a while and he said that in order to keep her at bay so she didn't try to ruin what we have. I do not know the girl, I have only met her once. The question is, who do I believe? We have not discussed boundaries or that seeing other people is or isn't ok, so technically if it were true, he wouldn't be wrong but am I being lied to about the situation? Or is this a situation (and guy) I should walk away from entirely?

 

You're being lied to. He's stringing both of you along.

 

Maybe I should explain. ANY guy that really didn't want anything to do with a former fling or whatever would have either ignored her or told her to eff off. Telling her that he doesn't really like YOU, is just keeping the door open for the other girl.

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truth_seeker
You're being lied to. He's stringing both of you along.

 

Maybe I should explain. ANY guy that really didn't want anything to do with a former fling or whatever would have either ignored her or told her to eff off. Telling her that he doesn't really like YOU, is just keeping the door open for the other girl.

 

I second this.

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You're being lied to. He's stringing both of you along.

 

Maybe I should explain. ANY guy that really didn't want anything to do with a former fling or whatever would have either ignored her or told her to eff off. Telling her that he doesn't really like YOU, is just keeping the door open for the other girl.

 

Although I see how this can be the case in some situations, I've seen it happen all too much where maybe the guy really doesn't want any drama from the previous girl so just responds in limited contact. Guys now a days know how much crazy drama another female can bring to their life. Clearly he was right, this chick was bold enough to contact you! Who knows what else she will do.

 

I would not confront them BOTH! Do not contact her at all and tell this guy NOT to. I've been in these situations before and the ex will never go away because she knows what she's doing is WORKING.

 

Proceed with caution like others have said but do not trust the girl at all though.

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