Am I right to be utterly PI*SED OFF about this?

[sharsh]

I've been talking to this guy (we'll name him Oliver) on and off for about two years. It's mostly been strictly a friendship. We've only made out on two occasions, and I was single both times.

 

A little of our backstory..

We met through a friend of mine, he had dated one of her friends before, and she thought I'd like him. We text for a while, and finally hang out (2ish years ago) we made out a lot, but he kept trying to take it to the next level and bang me. To which I said no. I was fresh out of a breakup at the time, and ended up taking my ex back. Oliver was extremely upset about it, and ended up going off on me over facebook about it, apparently he was really into me. I apologized, because it was wrong of me to lead someone on like that.

 

We got over that, kept in touch via Facebook, and would talk as friends nothing more. I talked to him about my issues at the time, one of them being a big deal to me, I had gained 40lbs in the span of a month and a half on seroquil, cut it cold turkey but felt TERRIBLE about my body, began working out, etc. When he knew I was having issues with my boyfriend at the time, he would mention about how much he'd like to date me, etc.. I said I'd feel more comfortable around him if he didn't try to bone me every 10 seconds.

 

My ex and I ended up breaking up, and I went to hang out with Oliver. Things were fine at first, we made out, had fun, but then he was trying to turn it into just f*cking me, which was just a huge turn off. I got pis*ed off, he asked what was wrong, I NICELY explained I'd rather just hang out, actually try and DATE him before just JUMPING into bed with him. He just explained he really likes sex, blah blah blah, really likes me. The whole night went like this until I finally left. I didn't want to see him again, I felt totally disrespected. He'd hit me up on facebook from time to time, but I kept everything short, and turned down his hangout and "let's work out together" offers. We stopped talking for a while.

 

That was maybe 2 months ago. Last night he messaged me. We were having a random fun conversation about leaving this sh*tty town we live in, and I playfully was just like "Take me with you!! haha"He went on to say "you seem to act all rughrhgh around me. that's not indicative of someone who wants to hangout with me longterm let alone travel" He was butthurt, apparently. He brought up 2 years ago, out of the blue, how I just "Stopped talking to him out of no where, cold shouldered him, and got back with my ex" and mocked me by saying "Yeah and we saw how that worked out" And I explained yet again, why, he's all about sex, wouldn't try to properly date me, and AGAIN, apologized for leading him on in the very beginning.

 

I asked why he was bringing this all up, and he just said "Like you said, I'm butthurt about the whole situation" I basically said to just stop, because that was all forever ago, and I had given him another chance, and he blew it like he had the first time.

 

Now this is where he pis*ed me off.

His reply to my explanation of how he yet again, blew it was this:

"no offense but like to say it without sounding like a dick, bad health is bad and i see what bad health does to people. don't wanna invest into something that involves lots and lots of health problems down the road

fix bad health by improving diet, getting off of ****ty birth control, and doing cardio, then ok

seriously diabetes is more of a death sentence now than aids it seems like, and it's easily fixed by reducing body mass and decreasing intake yadda yadda, allowing your body to regulate stuffs

and this is where you yell at me for being honest"

 

To which, initially I was confused.

So he further explained..:

"you gained like woahamounts of weight in 2 years from that medstuff you were on

which is killer to the body

and i work at a hospital where that's pretty much all i deal with so i know how hard it ****s you up in 20 years

if you dont adjust"

 

He was basically telling me in other messages along with those, that HE stopped talking to ME because I gained weight, and wouldn't work out with him. When really I stopped talking to HIM. Then justified trying to bang me, even with "all this weight I gained", because he "really still likes me as a person" and for me to "just stfu, I like you nerd."

 

SO. In conclusion, I'm pi*sed off because my weight, that I honestly didn't have any control over (seroquil is one hell of a drug, oh my god), was thrown in my face, after I had told him how insecure I WAS feeling because of it. Am I right to feel this way? Women already have body issues to begin with, but for a friend/someone you've dated/known for a while to just throw that in your face is just.....rude. I went off on him, told him to f*ck off, and was not nice. Did I take it too far..? Or..? Ugh.

 

And before anyone says anything, I've lost some weight since I found out what that medicine was doing to me, and I'm still working on it, gym, etc.

[CptSaveAho]

the joys of being bipolar ... sure you have a right to be angry but...

 

are you mad at him or are you mad at yourself?

Edited January 6, 2013 by CptSaveAho

[sharsh]

I'm actually not bipolar. D: I was prescribed seroquil to help me sleep.

 

I'm pis*ed off because the one thing he KNEW I was insecure about, he threw back in my face. When he knew I was having a tough time to begin with.

 

Why would I be mad at myself? Just curious..

[mortensorchid]

THe whole situation does not sound healthy at all. I would just let it be and move on. You'll be happier in the long run.

[D-Lish]

Seroquel is sometimes used for sleep- but it's really powerful... It's often used for bi-polar, and even schizophrenic patients.

 

From what you posted, this guy has waited around for you for a long time- you keep going back to him during your dry spells. Can't make a guy feel too great to be "that guy".

[marie1990]

Wow, he was a total jerk for throwing your weight in your face. I would've cussed him out too

[Eternal Sunshine]

You are not that into him....he doesn't sound that into you...why bother?

[outsidethebox]

I think he should have told you that sex helps you sleep and you wouldn't need the meds and weight gain that came with it. Win-win for everyone.

 

I like the "making out" with him while complaining to him about wanting to have sex. And your variety of terms for sex. Very well written.

[Radu]

I'm actually not bipolar. D: I was prescribed seroquil to help me sleep.

 

I'm pis*ed off because the one thing he KNEW I was insecure about, he threw back in my face. When he knew I was having a tough time to begin with.

 

Why would I be mad at myself? Just curious..

 

They gave you Seroquil to help you sleep ?

The damn thing is prescribed against schizophrenia and bipolar disorders [for the manic episodes]. It messes with your brain something fearce, i suspect it also affects your sex drive, as it reduces the effects dopamine.

It also reduces the effects of serotonin [probably why you put on weight].

 

Anyway, i'm a bit confused ... how old are you, and do you suffer from diabetes ?

[sharsh]

They gave you Seroquil to help you sleep ?

The damn thing is prescribed against schizophrenia and bipolar disorders [for the manic episodes]. It messes with your brain something fearce, i suspect it also affects your sex drive, as it reduces the effects dopamine.

It also reduces the effects of serotonin [probably why you put on weight].

 

Anyway, i'm a bit confused ... how old are you, and do you suffer from diabetes ?

 

I'm aware of what it's usually prescribed for which is why I was hesitant to go on it. But yes. It was prescribed for sleep. Which for that it DID work. It knocked me out completely. Left me feeling tired through the day too. i was always hungry, like starving hungry. No matter what or how much i ate. It was terrible.

 

I'm 21, and no. I don't have diabetes. I'm fine as far as that's concerned..

[MrCastle]

Well he admits to being hurt about what happened in the past so there's your reason why he did what he did. Not saying he should've done it but that's his reasoning for it. He wanted to hurt you in order to "get even" so to speak.

 

You were in the wrong for leading him on, but you acknowledge that and apologized for it. He's in the wrong for handling it like he did. Doesn't seem like much of a "friend". Probably best for you two to go your separate ways.

[Million.to.1]

He sounds like he's not even worth posting a thread about....

 

So don't waste your energy being mad at him. He just wanted to get in a low blow about your weight because his precious man ego couldn't handle being sexually rejected.

[Radu]

I'm aware of what it's usually prescribed for which is why I was hesitant to go on it. But yes. It was prescribed for sleep. Which for that it DID work. It knocked me out completely. Left me feeling tired through the day too. i was always hungry, like starving hungry. No matter what or how much i ate. It was terrible.

 

I'm 21, and no. I don't have diabetes. I'm fine as far as that's concerned..

 

That would be the serotonin, seroquil blocks it temporarily but it is still in the body, so when it wears off, you get a mega-dose of it.

 

If you are 21 and no diabetes ... he's a fu*king moron.

I mean, i understand what he is saying [being overweight messes your body something bad and i don't like it in a SO], but in this case it was just a low blow to preserve his ego like million mentioned.

[phineas]

 

From what you posted, this guy has waited around for you for a long time- you keep going back to him during your dry spells. Can't make a guy feel too great to be "that guy".

 

I'd go with this.

I used to be this guy.

 

See how pissed you are over his comments op?

You made him feel just as bad over the last few yrs by treating him as almost good enough.

Then even worse when you decided to call him after you broke up with you ex.

 

Gee, OP how would you feel if a guy only wanted to see you when he became single?

You'd probably be even more pissed than you are now.

 

 

But, there a bright point in this.

 

The guy has left the chump stage & entering the jerk stage. One extreme to the other.

Once he's there for a bit he'll bang it out with some low quality women then realize it isn't as awesome as he thought it was & balance out.

 

I'd just leave him alone if I were you.

[soccerrprp]

I'm aware of what it's usually prescribed for which is why I was hesitant to go on it. But yes. It was prescribed for sleep. Which for that it DID work. It knocked me out completely. Left me feeling tired through the day too. i was always hungry, like starving hungry. No matter what or how much i ate. It was terrible.

 

I'm 21, and no. I don't have diabetes. I'm fine as far as that's concerned..

 

Oh, the joys of multi-purpose drugs. Did you try the numerous drugs actually used to help with sleeping before being prescribed Seroquel? From the sounds of the side-effects, it sounds to me that you would do better with some other sleep-relief drugs. Ask your doctor for other options that are safer, doesn't affect your weight.

 

And yes, this guy sounds like a jack-wagon. Move on and be pissed, but move on!

[sharsh]

phineas: I think people are kind of confused about the situation. I was wrong to come on him at first, when I still had feelings for my ex, 2 years ago, yes, and I acknowledged, and apologized for it. We didn't hang out for a year or so, he was upset about it, and I completely understood. After that year or so, we hung out every now and again, I'd go with him and some of his friends and some of mine. It wasn't like, we didn't see each other while I was with my ex. After my ex and I broke up, I didn't come on to him. He came on to me. I didn't 'run back to him' like some of you are saying. I had always liked him as a person, and thought he was attractive. He had GOOD qualities my ex did not. His own home, his own car, a license, an education, was in college, etc. I thought he'd be a good match. But inspite of numerous talks when I went to hang out with him after he again expressed interest it was the same thing -- immediately jumping me for sex, which was a huge turn off.

 

soccerrprp: I was seeing a psychiatrist. That's what she prescribed me.. I didn't try any of the 'normal' sleep meds first, she immediately put me on that. I think my sleep issues had a lot to do with stress and anxiety from my previous relationship. A month or so after the break up, I've been sleeping fine ever since.

 

And yes, I do plan on moving on lol. I don't see us even having a 'friendship' at this stage in the game.

[Keenly]

Ask your doctor for some Zolpidem Tartrate AKA Ambien

 

Works like a charm. It's what I take.

[FitChick]

Take melatonin. Natural and safer than pharmaceuticals and gives you great dreams. I'd never go back to that psychiatrist if I were you. Pill pusher.

[sharsh]

I'm doing much better now, in regards to the sleep department. I can actually sleep through a whole night. I don't have too many options for doctors, there's a limited numbed in the area to begin with, and my insurance only accepts certain ones. Now I just see her for my anti-depressants.

 

But for the occasional interrupted sleeping I use Unisom. Which seems to work.

[soccerrprp]

 

soccerrprp: I was seeing a psychiatrist. That's what she prescribed me.. I didn't try any of the 'normal' sleep meds first, she immediately put me on that. I think my sleep issues had a lot to do with stress and anxiety from my previous relationship. A month or so after the break up, I've been sleeping fine ever since.

 

And yes, I do plan on moving on lol. I don't see us even having a 'friendship' at this stage in the game.

 

So, you're not in need of meds now? Fitchick suggested melatonin, natural, yes, but not effective for many people. It may be worth a try if you still need something. I't also over the counter, so no need for prescription. Anyway, your pysch went multiple levels beyond necessary to prescribe something like that w/o trying the numerous other safer, more reasonable options. Don't even get me started about the medical/pharmaceutical industry....ugh.

[sharsh]

So, you're not in need of meds now? Fitchick suggested melatonin, natural, yes, but not effective for many people. It may be worth a try if you still need something. I't also over the counter, so no need for prescription. Anyway, your pysch went multiple levels beyond necessary to prescribe something like that w/o trying the numerous other safer, more reasonable options. Don't even get me started about the medical/pharmaceutical industry....ugh.

 

Currently I'm all right in the sleep dept. And I know, she screwed up. On top of that, the pharmacy screwed up my script once also. I had a terrible experience with that. I went from 75mg of seroquel, to taking 600mg of seroquel, because they didn't read the script right. Me, being a retard, didn't really think about this being a pharmacy screw up, and took the full dose. Needless to say, I was KTFO for a full 24 hours. I've definitely learned from that mistake to double check all my prescriptions as soon as I get them.

[Brunettie]

Yeah...that's not right.. =\