fabulousgal Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Well, my boyfriend of 5 months and I had a huge fight last night after we went out. He's been a great guy, sometimes moody and when we fight sometimes it turns into more of everything I do/have done wrong, and he becomes mean. He ended up asking me to leave very rudely, but did walk me out to make sure I got a ride. All day I have been very sad that we fought, that he asked me to leave. Normally when we fight, he comes to me a short time later but he hasn't today. I would like too because to be honest I feel like fighting is no-win if all it is doing is creating distance. I am spending time at home for the holidays and wanted to spend it with him to grow our relationship, so I'd like to end this fight fast. But I can't shake that he asked me to leave his place the way he did. I don't want to be a door mat. Should I swallow my pride here? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Yookie Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Depends on what the fight was about and what you said back to him in the heat of the moment. Need more info. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fabulousgal Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 Well I told him about a personal thing that could affect him but unlikely, it is minor, but he told me he needed time to understand it. However he wouldn't listen to my information on the subject, he want to to do it alone. That was a week and a half ago, but we started hanging out right away and things were really well. Although we didn't talk about it. So, last night after we went out (drinks were had), I brought it up because it is causing a little physical distance between us. He in turn got angry and said I was trying to push him, I wasn't really I was just feeling a little unwanted/hurt and want us to start being proactive in a solution because I know I want to be with him, and he acts like he digs me too. He then started to list out all my ways I try to dictate terms, most of which are his opinon and not even relevant to the matter at hand. I tried to get up and go home at that point, because he is a mean fighter and it just hurts too much. He didn't want me too, but the more I tried to talk the more mocking he became and frustrated I'd get. He offered me his bed and he'd take the couch. I told him no worries, go to bed and I'll leave in a bit. He then proceeds to tell me to get the h* out. So I did. All I know is that I understand if he was thinking I wasn't giving him time, that wasn't my intent at all. He treats me wonderfully the majority of the time, just when we fight I shut down a little because he is much more vocal/intense than I and can be mean. Link to post Share on other sites
weee111 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 He seems like a douche, I'd be worried about him getting physical eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 So, last night after we went out (drinks were had), I brought it up because it is causing a little physical distance between us. He in turn got angry and said I was trying to push him, I wasn't really I was just feeling a little unwanted/hurt and want us to start being proactive in a solution because I know I want to be with him, and he acts like he digs me too. He then started to list out all my ways I try to dictate terms, most of which are his opinon and not even relevant to the matter at hand. Red flag right there. Reminds me of my ex. Always found a way to turn things around. It was all about his feelings, his needs, his desire not to be "pushed around." Any time I expressed an opinion about the relationship or something we had talked about, he would get angry and claim I was selfish, pressuring him, trying to dictate the terms, etc. This is never a good sign IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fabulousgal Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 Red flag right there. Reminds me of my ex. Always found a way to turn things around. It was all about his feelings, his needs, his desire not to be "pushed around." Any time I expressed an opinion about the relationship or something we had talked about, he would get angry and claim I was selfish, pressuring him, trying to dictate the terms, etc. This is never a good sign IMO. Hmmm, how did it end, what did it escalate too? I haven't been in many relationships, so I struggle a little with give and take. He is usually the one to contact me after a tiff, so I don't want it to seem like I am totally unwilling. I feel like in most cases it is ok to be the one to end the fight just to move forward, but in this case I feel like a bit of a door mat, who tells a woman they care about to get the h* out? I could see maybe, wow we are not getting anywhere tonight, let's call it one, you can go home or stay here. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Hmmm, how did it end, what did it escalate too? I haven't been in many relationships, so I struggle a little with give and take. He is usually the one to contact me after a tiff, so I don't want it to seem like I am totally unwilling. I feel like in most cases it is ok to be the one to end the fight just to move forward, but in this case I feel like a bit of a door mat, who tells a woman they care about to get the h* out? I could see maybe, wow we are not getting anywhere tonight, let's call it one, you can go home or stay here. Break-up. Twice, in a 6-month relationship. This second time (today) for good. It's never a good sign, like I said. It's a sign of emotional abuse. Do not tolerate it. Link to post Share on other sites
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