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Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 8th December 2012, 8:20 PM   #1
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Sick of being single?

Hi there, new here.

I've been single for almost five years. I'm good-looking (enough), musically talented, a good guy. Been on plenty of dates, had some hookups, but nothing meaningful.

How do you keep from feeling cynical, lonely and hopeless? Some days, this stuff is just so depressing.

Thanks,

OD
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Old 8th December 2012, 8:26 PM   #2
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You are lucky you had that. Try being in my position where I never had a date and never had sex before and I'm in my mid 20's. Now that really sucks. You have a chance of finding someone so I wouldn't worry as muc has I should worry about myself.
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Old 8th December 2012, 8:27 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Oregon_Dude View Post
How do you keep from feeling cynical, lonely and hopeless? Some days, this stuff is just so depressing.

Thanks,

OD
I've gone back to using drugs.
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Old 8th December 2012, 8:28 PM   #4
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Got it, do more drugs. Thanks!
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Old 8th December 2012, 8:44 PM   #5
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Move away from Oregon? Or date out-of-state. I hear Oregon's got one of the highest ratios of men to women in the U.S. It's not you, it's your location. I've lived this (although not in Oregon).
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Old 8th December 2012, 8:48 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by dreamerisland View Post
Not only do more drugs, but drink more too. Women are hard to figure out.
I like your style.

As far as location, that's interesting. Everyone seems to be in a relationship, so no one is interested. I love Oregon though, so leaving isn't likely. Dating LDR is tough too, done it, never doing it again.

Hope everyone has a great night.
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Old 8th December 2012, 9:04 PM   #7
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Do what you did when you were five: go outside, just because, talk to strangers, find bugs and sunsets and playgrounds amazing !

5 years and no joy ? No offense my friend, but my guess is the problem is coming from your end, not from a lack of cool, interesting, relatively attractive women crossing your path.
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Old 9th December 2012, 1:50 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Oregon_Dude View Post
Hi there, new here.

I've been single for almost five years. I'm good-looking (enough), musically talented, a good guy. Been on plenty of dates, had some hookups, but nothing meaningful.

How do you keep from feeling cynical, lonely and hopeless? Some days, this stuff is just so depressing.

Thanks,

OD
Do what I did, turn your attitude around.

Work on yourself, become awesome, do the things you've always wanted to do with your life (just don't kill anyone or rob any banks), and above all, make yourself indespensable. By that I mean learn how to be a good host, and be the deep friend that people can talk to when they feel like life has hit them below the belt.

As for me, I'm in the process of following my own advice... I'm still cleaning the property up (made $2.7K selling all the junk in the house, and a few bucks more selling the tree trimmings for firewood)... I've started buying decent clothes and eating better... but most of all, after New Year's day I'm giving my old day job the kiss-off so I can get a better job that pays WAY more money and gives me a lot more free time.
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Old 9th December 2012, 2:14 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by dreamerisland View Post
Not only do more drugs, but drink more too. Women are hard to figure out.
Women aren't attracted to good men. That's the problem you need to grasp right now. I've learned that years ago. Of course, you can remain a good guy in your heart, but never let them know it. You'll never get laid.

Honestly, the single life is the most enriching. Getting casual hookups is the best thing since sliced bread if you really think about it. And ignore all these smarmy-looking couples you see walking the streets, looking like they're so happy, because believe me it's a farce!

Your change to success with these dames will come when you grow darker, and moodier, and carefree because in their simple minds you're a man who needs work and these dames will be crashing down your door for the job.
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Old 9th December 2012, 2:25 AM   #10
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What else can you do about it? Either accept it as is or go out in the hopes that it too can happen to you. That's all we can do.
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Old 13th December 2012, 9:51 PM   #11
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Hello again.

It's pretty easy to say over the internet: if you're single, it's your fault. That's the same kind of cyclical logic that we've all heard. And it is complete BS.

What about crappy, abusive people in relationships? They just found another crappy person.

I'm meant to be alone. That is my conclusion. I am so tired, though, of people who want to diagnose you without knowing anything about you.

There is absolutely nothing I am doing to deter relationships, or dating prospects. Some people find it so difficult to understand that sometimes, you're alone, and it's not your fault, and it's not anyone else's fault.

But this is an advice forum, I guess. Advice to me is useless. Sometimes you just want to hear someone say, "Yep, I know how that feels."

I could tell you a million reasons why I'm great, but the fact is that someone is going to tell me I'm putting out "the wrong vibes" or some such nonsense that is straight out of The Secret.

To all the lonely people, I feel you. Keep trucking. You're not alone.
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Old 13th December 2012, 10:20 PM   #12
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You just have to be willing to accept whatever life has in store for you. It looks like I'm meant to be alone too and it gets hard at times, but I have no choice but to accept it and try to find happiness where I can.
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Old 13th December 2012, 10:58 PM   #13
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Sick of being single? Nope.

Sick of not getting laid for 3 months? Yes.
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Old 13th December 2012, 11:18 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by OpenBook View Post
Move away from Oregon? Or date out-of-state. I hear Oregon's got one of the highest ratios of men to women in the U.S. It's not you, it's your location. I've lived this (although not in Oregon).
mental note: move to Oregon.
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Old 14th December 2012, 1:42 AM   #15
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mental note: move to Oregon.
Actually, move to Alaska! Just make sure to take a bucket of antidepressants to counter the 24/7 darkness in the frigid winter months.
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