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Old 9th November 2012, 6:03 PM   #1
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he replies but doesnt initiate

why does he reply my text if he is not that interested?
if i text him, he asks me questions never sends deadend text.
the thing is, if i call and he misses(which happens 95%) he doesnt call back.. i have to text him saying call me back then hell call..
last time i sent him a deadend text just saying random he ignored it so i was about to move on then he called me 2-3 days later asking what have i been up to.
now i asked him if hell be able to meet up this week (hes busy guy works +80hr/wk) he said he can meet up over the weekend.. yet he hasnt given me exact date...
well i have been the one who initiated dates from day1..
i heared if he doesnt put effort more than 30%, its a no. and seems he does put only 20% effort on it...and i do the rest 80.
if hes not interested, why would he say he can meet up this week and reply my texts..? is he just keeping me as back up? what is this?
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Old 9th November 2012, 7:15 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syw0806 View Post
why does he reply my text if he is not that interested?
if i text him, he asks me questions never sends deadend text.
the thing is, if i call and he misses(which happens 95%) he doesnt call back.. i have to text him saying call me back then hell call..
last time i sent him a deadend text just saying random he ignored it so i was about to move on then he called me 2-3 days later asking what have i been up to.
now i asked him if hell be able to meet up this week (hes busy guy works +80hr/wk) he said he can meet up over the weekend.. yet he hasnt given me exact date...
well i have been the one who initiated dates from day1..
i heared if he doesnt put effort more than 30%, its a no. and seems he does put only 20% effort on it...and i do the rest 80.
if hes not interested, why would he say he can meet up this week and reply my texts..? is he just keeping me as back up? what is this?
i've struggled with this in the past, myself. when you call, do you leave a voice mail asking him to give you a call back? if not, then he may not see a reason to. you said yourself he is a very busy guy...the fact that he works 80+ hours a week (holy crap) and still pencils you in is definitely a good sign.

trust me- i used to worry over always being the first to initialize a date/conversation, but if you have been from the beginning, he's probably used to it and expects it. also, the fact that he actually makes conversation with you as opposed to giving one word answers or ignoring you shows he is interested. even though i am addicted to texting, this is why it sucks. you can't tell what the other person is thinking/their tone of voice, and they can reply at their leisure.

seems to me this guy is definitely interested. but you answered your own question- he is very busy. so he can't give you as much time as you'd like because of that, but he still puts forth effort, which is good. how far along in the dating process are you guys? how many dates have you been on, how long have you been seeing him, etc.?

maybe the reason you're initiating everything is because of his busy lifestyle...it is probably more easy for you to work around his schedule than vice versa, so he waits for you to approach him.
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Old 9th November 2012, 7:22 PM   #3
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He is not interested or isn't worth your time.

Just like the girls guys date and complain she doesn't initiate - they fail to realize she is not interested and they shouldn't waste there time.
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Old 9th November 2012, 8:47 PM   #4
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You got it, youre his back up...he already has a favorite girl.
Its ok, other fish in the sea.
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Old 9th November 2012, 10:53 PM   #5
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he's not interested, and you are wasting your time.
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Old 9th November 2012, 11:39 PM   #6
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He's not interested. It's one thing to reply to a text after an hour or so, but to not at all indicates that he isn't interested. Move on.
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Old 10th November 2012, 6:46 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jefermelesyeux View Post
i've struggled with this in the past, myself. when you call, do you leave a voice mail asking him to give you a call back? if not, then he may not see a reason to. you said yourself he is a very busy guy...the fact that he works 80+ hours a week (holy crap) and still pencils you in is definitely a good sign.

trust me- i used to worry over always being the first to initialize a date/conversation, but if you have been from the beginning, he's probably used to it and expects it. also, the fact that he actually makes conversation with you as opposed to giving one word answers or ignoring you shows he is interested. even though i am addicted to texting, this is why it sucks. you can't tell what the other person is thinking/their tone of voice, and they can reply at their leisure.

seems to me this guy is definitely interested. but you answered your own question- he is very busy. so he can't give you as much time as you'd like because of that, but he still puts forth effort, which is good. how far along in the dating process are you guys? how many dates have you been on, how long have you been seeing him, etc.?

maybe the reason you're initiating everything is because of his busy lifestyle...it is probably more easy for you to work around his schedule than vice versa, so he waits for you to approach him.
Thanks for your advice We only went out four dates so far.
Hes been very affectionating from the first date, but i kinda pushed him away when he tried to touch here and there.. haha he never been pushy tho.
He lives in NYC and I live in long island(ny) so seeing him once a week is pretty enough for now.. but we havent met for 3 weeks due to his work, my work, and the herricane
anyways, I texted him asking if he still wants to see me this weekend(kinda clingy.. haha but really wasnt sure if he IS interested) and he relplied saying Yeah Ill call you tmrw.
so hopefully things go well!!
I think(hope) you are right.. I notice i am the one who initiates 80% of the time, but I always knew he would reply. so i guess this is good haha
and I never leave voicemail.. but he used to call me back anyways tho haha
i guess he decided to just call me back when i send him a text to call me back.. he calls back if i text him to.
i know its only been four dates plus we havent met over three weeks,, so ill just wait and see how it goes! im pretty sure if we keep seeing eachother, ill always be the one initiates everything.. haha
Thank you so much!
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