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Old 30th October 2012, 7:06 PM   #1
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Alright, so I am having trouble reading a girl. I want to get to know her better, but I'm not sure quite what to do.

Tiny bit of back story:

About 2-3 weeks ago, I met this girl (20-21 years old), became Facebook friends, and talked quite a bit. However, she seems to end conversations abruptly. She'd respond later (not long after she got off) but the conversations just kind of halted. Eventually, I got her number to make things easier to message her. Same thing there. Very abrupt ends to the conversations. She doesn't give me a lot (sometimes any) space to continue a flow of conversation. In person, it's different. Conversations just happen naturally and continue well. But, I don't really ever see her.

Now, most conversations are short text/short Facebook messages. Also, it's slightly apparent I dig her (at least to friends). I thought she was into another person, but at the same time I think I still might have a shot. I feel like any positive signs are offset by a negative signs (mainly the short conversations that just end). At the same time, these may not really be negative signs. I could just be picking them up that way or that's just how she texts.

I have a few options, but I'm not sure which one to take:

- a friend said to lay low. She what she does. She's pretty laid back but can get pretty energetic. But due to the lacking texts/Facebook conversations I should lay low.

- I could ask a friend to she if she is into anyone. However, I feel like this may backfire and may be a bit more cowardly. Maybe not cowardly, but something along those lines.

- I was also thinking of going against option 1 and inviting her over to catch a TV show or grab some dinner off campus. She may be waiting for someone else to do something. This way I can see/talk to her in person.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have been messaging her less as of late, but if that is seen as a negative thing, I would change that.
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Old 30th October 2012, 7:26 PM   #2
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She isn't all that into you...move on.
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Old 30th October 2012, 9:32 PM   #3
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She isn't all that into you...move on.
Well, damn that sucks to hear.

I was decently sure something was there given the eye contact and the fact she would hush a friend when she brought up an old interest. I figured that was good, but I guess there's only so much to gleam off details.

Looks like friendship is the end of the road then. No point in asking the friend then, eh?
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Old 30th October 2012, 9:35 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by CodenameX View Post
Alright, so I am having trouble reading a girl. I want to get to know her better, but I'm not sure quite what to do.

Tiny bit of back story:

About 2-3 weeks ago, I met this girl (20-21 years old), became Facebook friends, and talked quite a bit. However, she seems to end conversations abruptly. She'd respond later (not long after she got off) but the conversations just kind of halted. Eventually, I got her number to make things easier to message her. Same thing there. Very abrupt ends to the conversations. She doesn't give me a lot (sometimes any) space to continue a flow of conversation. In person, it's different. Conversations just happen naturally and continue well. But, I don't really ever see her.

Now, most conversations are short text/short Facebook messages. Also, it's slightly apparent I dig her (at least to friends). I thought she was into another person, but at the same time I think I still might have a shot. I feel like any positive signs are offset by a negative signs (mainly the short conversations that just end). At the same time, these may not really be negative signs. I could just be picking them up that way or that's just how she texts.

I have a few options, but I'm not sure which one to take:

- a friend said to lay low. She what she does. She's pretty laid back but can get pretty energetic. But due to the lacking texts/Facebook conversations I should lay low.

- I could ask a friend to she if she is into anyone. However, I feel like this may backfire and may be a bit more cowardly. Maybe not cowardly, but something along those lines.

- I was also thinking of going against option 1 and inviting her over to catch a TV show or grab some dinner off campus. She may be waiting for someone else to do something. This way I can see/talk to her in person.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have been messaging her less as of late, but if that is seen as a negative thing, I would change that.
Some girls/women are awkward with texting/internet convos and are much more comfortable in person. Just adjust to what you find she is most comfortable with. Before you write her off, try hanging out with her more in person like you said you might do.

"Laying low" is just going to say to her "He is not interested. I should quit now". I know it seems like she is doing the same to you, BUT keep in mind that with some people, texting and phone convos don't come that easy. I think when you establish more of a connection to her in person, texting might become easier for her with you.
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Old 30th October 2012, 9:39 PM   #5
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Some girls/women are awkward with texting/internet convos and are much more comfortable in person. Just adjust to what you find she is most comfortable with. Before you write her off, try hanging out with her more in person like you said you might do.

"Laying low" is just going to say to her "He is not interested. I should quit now". I know it seems like she is doing the same to you, BUT keep in mind that with some people, texting and phone convos don't come that easy. I think when you establish more of a connection to her in person, texting might become easier for her with you.
Alright, I'll keep that in mind too. I've been trying to think of an easy way to set up meeting with her. But, I've come up with nothing shy of just asking her to come over. Which, may or may not be too forward.
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Old 30th October 2012, 9:46 PM   #6
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If she has been over before, it's not too forward. Otherwise, just try asking her to hang out somewhere public, or ask her if she wants to come to some event with you. Best of luck!

Last edited by HeldbyGravity; 30th October 2012 at 9:51 PM..
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Old 30th October 2012, 9:54 PM   #7
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Thanks HeldbyGravity, I'll give it my best shot. Also, how do you feel about asking her friend? Bad move? I feel like it would be but I've heard of people doing it before so I thought I'd throw it out there as an option.
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Old 30th October 2012, 10:08 PM   #8
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Thanks HeldbyGravity, I'll give it my best shot. Also, how do you feel about asking her friend? Bad move? I feel like it would be but I've heard of people doing it before so I thought I'd throw it out there as an option.
You're welcome!

Asking her friend... it depends on what age you are. At age 20, I would avoid it. It shows more confidence and may be interpreted as Genuine interest if you approach her about this herself.

If you yourself are also friends with this person, you can try asking. But otherwise, stay clear of this.
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Old 30th October 2012, 10:11 PM   #9
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Gotcha, thanks once again for the advice.
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Old 30th October 2012, 10:13 PM   #10
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For all you know she's carrying on 5 different text/IM conversations at the same time. Cut to the chase and ask out is your best option. Good luck.
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Old 30th October 2012, 10:23 PM   #11
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Ask her out. Personally? I hate facebook chat and long text convos, so I am always trying to end them as fast as possible.
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Old 30th October 2012, 11:47 PM   #12
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Well, damn that sucks to hear.

I was decently sure something was there given the eye contact and the fact she would hush a friend when she brought up an old interest. I figured that was good, but I guess there's only so much to gleam off details.

Looks like friendship is the end of the road then. No point in asking the friend then, eh?

If she was intersted in you then why would she just seem to drop off in conversation with you or abruptly end it. This isnt shyness/reserved to me.

I think she she has been persued by another man while you were sitting there not making a move.

Never assume you are the only one talking to or dating a girl.
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Old 1st November 2012, 10:12 PM   #13
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Right, well, as much as I was hoping you guys were right, I think Ami1uwant was correct.

his happened yesterday. I asked her over to hang out/catch a TV show (this was through text as I don't see her much, the point of asking was to see her). And was met with the reply of: Hmm maybe. She had a lot of work for all her classes and would let me know. End text message.

Which I take to be a very strong no due to the fact I invited her over for the very large time period of: at any time during the weekend (no specific time set).
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Old 1st November 2012, 10:15 PM   #14
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OK first, I'm usually one to say maybe is no. However, you should consider inviting out for definite plans that aren't "hanging out sometime during the weekend" in the future. It's no wonder she gave you a maybe, you didn't really ask her out.
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Old 1st November 2012, 10:21 PM   #15
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OK first, I'm usually one to say maybe is no. However, you should consider inviting out for definite plans that aren't "hanging out sometime during the weekend" in the future. It's no wonder she gave you a maybe, you didn't really ask her out.
So, is it possible to sort of save it by sending a message along the lines of: if you've been able to take care of any of that work, how does [date] sound for [plans]?

Or, did I screw the pooch?
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