Dealbreakers?

[Drseussgrrl]

I recently got to thinking about deal breakers. We all have them. Typically, if I liked someone enough, I could overlook past small infractions, like a consistently messy room, being a cat person instead of a dog person, really loving the Yankees, or not knowing how to cook. These were qualities or habits that, in the early stages of courting, could be forgotten after a good joke.

 

But some things are sacred. And concerning certain sacred qualities, sometimes there cannot be compromise.

 

So when do you know when to overlook and move ahead and when to throw in the towel and move on?

 

Here’s a list of deal breakers that will (hopefully) soften the blow:

 

1) Doesn't listen to music.

 

2) Doesn't think voting is important.

 

3) Doesn't adhere to proper grammar.

 

4) Doesn't have or get my sense of humor.

 

5) Doesn't have a good r'ship with his family.

 

 

These are just some of mine. What are some of yours?

[Drseussgrrl]

I actually walked away from a guy at a party who said, "I surveillanced her." Maybe my tactic was wrong but looking back I'm proud of myself. Haha

[carhill]

Based on historical experience, I identify three big ones, not always easily deduced immediately:

 

1. Alcoholism and/or drug dependence/abuse

 

2. Mental illness/defect

 

3. Emotional unavailability

 

When I reflect upon past unhealthy relationships and those which ended from my overt actions, those were the dominant issues, jointly or severally.

 

Most folks would include cheating/infidelity as a dealbreaker and I would agree, in an active relationship, but such is nearly impossible to verify/qualify/quantify retrospectively so I discount it when 'getting to know' someone.

[Woggle]

Being a man hater

 

Hard drug use and excessive drinking

 

Being a serial cheater

 

If I were single that is what the main three would be.

[carhill]

Oh, adding one more, based again on my historical relationships:

 

4. Abuse and/or general disclosed/observed unhealthiness in FOO and evidence that such issues remain and have not been addressed/resolved. No one's history is perfect but, at my age, potential partners should have resolved such issues to a neutral and healthy state. We're decades away from childhood.

[Mycteria]

1) If he adheres to any major Western religion, specifically Christianity.

2) Overweight, at ALL

3) Heavy smoker

4) Anti-drug

5) Doesn't have my sense of humor

6) Listens to crappy music

7) Doesn't like the outdoors, can't rough it/sleep anywhere outside

8) Doesn't like animals

9) Doesn't have extreme depth of personality

 

Those are just the ones I'm REALLY strict on.

[ThaWholigan]

History of cheating

 

Uncommunicative/poor communication

 

Addiction

 

Not tactile

 

Low sex drive

 

Too pessimistic/worrisome (although this isn't so much a dealbreaker as a slight red flag to me)

[veggirl]

religious

jobless

unattractive

unintelligent

immature

divorced

has kids

 

among the usual--big history of cheating cheating, any abuse, drug or alcohol dependent, etc.

[fortyninethousand322]

2) Doesn't think voting is important

 

I'm sorry, but that would actually be a deal-maker to me.

 

If a girl was an obnoxious Yankees fan (note: this is to be distinguished from a regular Yankees fan). Everything else is about preferences and trade-offs, not deal breakers.

[ThaWholigan]

I'm sorry, but that would actually be a deal-maker to me.

 

Agree with this - I dislike all politicians, tactical voting is about as far as it goes for me, I don't care about it.

[rainfall]

1.wants or has kids

2.doesn't like animals

3.thinks women should do all the cooking and cleaning

[Drseussgrrl]

Personally I think apathy is one of the most unattractive qualities a person can possess. Opinions are sexy. But, that's why it's MY dealbreaker.

[suladas]

Smoking at all, it's gross and the smoke bothers me a lot.

Being much overweight, a bit is ok but not much.

Big party person/clubs etc all the time

Doesn't like the outdoors like camping, etc

Doesn't like to get her hands dirty like yardwork, building stuff things like that. Really girly girls are annoying

Living at home without a good reason, like being a student etc is ok though

Being two faced, always being nice to people to their face and talking crap about them when they aren't around

Is ok with just scraping by in life with no ambition to be successful

 

Religion kinda use to be, but my ex was a bit and it didn't bother me, but she didn't go to church much.

[fortyninethousand322]

Personally I think apathy is one of the most unattractive qualities a person can possess. Opinions are sexy. But, that's why it's MY dealbreaker.

 

You can have opinions while thinking voting is unimportant. For example: it is my opinion that voting should be one of the least important things you do in your life (if you even do it at all).

[colombiana28]

1) If he adheres to any major Western religion, specifically Christianity.

2) Overweight, at ALL

3) Heavy smoker

4) Anti-drug

5) Doesn't have my sense of humor

6) Listens to crappy music

7) Doesn't like the outdoors, can't rough it/sleep anywhere outside

8) Doesn't like animals

9) Doesn't have extreme depth of personality

 

Those are just the ones I'm REALLY strict on.

 

Damn, it's like we're the same person, Well, as long as you meant that BEING anti-drug is a dealbreaker. i like my occasional joint.

 

#9 is huge. I didn't realize it until I was dating someone who was hot, good on paper, but conversations were painful. No flow, I felt like I was contributing wayyy more than him trying to keep it going. Whenever I'd smile at him, he'd smile back and say "what?" Um, I don't know, I'm smiling because there's such a goddamn huge lull in the convo. INITIATE SOMETHING, A TOPIC, ANYTHING! Can't keep blabbering on about myself over here.

 

Being boring in general is becoming a dealbreaker. I LOVE staying in and watching a movie most of the time, but when it's all he wants to do week in and week out, I just get so sick of it.

 

I only date atheists, so that weeds out 90% of the population right off the bat.

[Drseussgrrl]

I just happen to feel strongly about it. Like I said, MY dealbreaker.

 

Just like some people must date a Christian. *shrugs*

[ThaWholigan]

Personally I think apathy is one of the most unattractive qualities a person can possess. Opinions are sexy. But, that's why it's MY dealbreaker.

Oh but I do have an opinion: They're all lying twats .

 

It's a good dealbreaker to have if you are politically inclined.

[todreaminblue]

I recently got to thinking about deal breakers. We all have them. Typically, if I liked someone enough, I could overlook past small infractions, like a consistently messy room, being a cat person instead of a dog person, really loving the Yankees, or not knowing how to cook. These were qualities or habits that, in the early stages of courting, could be forgotten after a good joke.

 

But some things are sacred. And concerning certain sacred qualities, sometimes there cannot be compromise.

 

So when do you know when to overlook and move ahead and when to throw in the towel and move on?

 

Here’s a list of deal breakers that will (hopefully) soften the blow:

 

1) Doesn't listen to music.

 

2) Doesn't think voting is important.

 

3) Doesn't adhere to proper grammar.

 

4) Doesn't have or get my sense of humor.

 

5) Doesn't have a good r'ship with his family.

 

 

These are just some of mine. What are some of yours?

 

 

when you say proper grammar do you mean speech verbal or written?.....deb

[MrCastle]

-drug use (including marijuana)

 

-heavy drinking

 

-excessive partying

 

-conservative beliefs

 

-history of promiscuity

 

-lack of education

[veggirl]

Oh, and if a guy has pets that is a possible dealbreaker as well. My cat hates other animals, so I'm not sure I'd want to deal with the conflict if it were to happen that we lived together or whatever at some point. Easier to weed that out before you're attached, so unless he was perfect in every other way, I'd pass on a guy with cats or dogs. Or birds cause if one got out my cat would murder it

[xdahliax]

I don't date people who:

-Are Muslim

-Have poor personal hygiene

-Have alcohol/drug addiction

-Are emotionally unstable/leeches or high maintenance

-Have no family values

-Have no ambition

-Don't have a thirst for knowledge

-Are racist/sexist

[MrCastle]

I don't date people who:

-Are Muslim

-Are racist/sexist

 

Most unintentionally hilarious post I've seen in a while.

[aj22one]

-Are Muslim

 

haha except for one Hindu girl I dated, all of my girlfriends were Muslim (and now I'm married to a Muslim woman). haha

[xdahliax]

Most unintentionally hilarious post I've seen in a while.

 

Lol I knew someone would pick up on that. I give myself a free pass because my family is Muslim.

[todreaminblue]

I recently got to thinking about deal breakers. We all have them. Typically, if I liked someone enough, I could overlook past small infractions, like a consistently messy room, being a cat person instead of a dog person, really loving the Yankees, or not knowing how to cook. These were qualities or habits that, in the early stages of courting, could be forgotten after a good joke.

 

But some things are sacred. And concerning certain sacred qualities, sometimes there cannot be compromise.

 

So when do you know when to overlook and move ahead and when to throw in the towel and move on?

 

Here’s a list of deal breakers that will (hopefully) soften the blow:

 

1) Doesn't listen to music.

 

2) Doesn't think voting is important.

 

3) Doesn't adhere to proper grammar.

 

4) Doesn't have or get my sense of humor.

 

5) Doesn't have a good r'ship with his family.

 

 

These are just some of mine. What are some of yours?

 

 

Doesnt listen to music

doesnt respect or love his family whether or not they are good or dysfuntional relationships he can have a family that he disagrees with on everything but as long as he loves them still shows more character actually.....good relationships are a breeze to maintain.....hard relationships take effort and endurance

 

not trusting me

 

dishonesty

 

not accepting of differences.

 

not participating in where to go where to eat what to do ....so if i have to do all the work all the time....its nice to just follow sometimes

 

 

ridiculing me that doesnt include teasing.......i mean ridicule

 

being ashamed of me because i am different

 

 

harassing me for sex guys should take no as no....talking about sex constantly and wanting me to talk about sex

 

not accepting my past and being able to move on.....i should only have to tell it once and leave it alone and move on i dont want to have to defend myself or feel guilt or shame with constant reminders bought up.....

 

not being able to smile and constantly grumpy

 

 

 

drug abuse

 

nastiness towards others

 

interested in dating others while dating me.....i dont want competition and i dont allow competition for the guy i date so I put my money where my mouth is and go exclusive.....i expect the same