SuddenlyCute Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 here is my story for most of my life at least when i started noticing girls i knew they did not like me (well at least not romantically). while in my 20's girls would do the "don't look at him don't talk to him thing". and walk by as fast as they could. random women would look at me and say "he is a creep" to there friends, anyway im now 30 and something has changed. i dont drink anymore i cleaned my self up i even have a little muscle now. well now its vary different when i see women. for the last 6 months they say things like "he is hot". i am also noticing a lot of heads turning. i have even been getting jealous looks from some of there boyfriends. so yea something is different now. as you can tell i am new to this whole thing. i went from 0% of women liking me to 85% of women i see showing an attraction. i have no idea how to react to them when they start giving body language that clearly shows they are attracted to me. (VARY CLEARLY) even my friends noticed this "behavior". Of course they are not any better at this then i am. i have never seen women act like this before and not sure how i should respond. i like some of them and would like to meet them or something but i have no idea where to begin. i gave up hope on ever finding love a long time ago. so i have no skills in this sort of thing. guess the old ugly duckling story is true (in my case anyway). i could not find much on the net about this kind of thing. lots of "how to attract women" and so on but i could not find much on what to do when they do find you attractive. go figure. any advice or input on this would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 What kind of advice would you actually like? Don't let it go to your head... Perhaps? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minka333 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Just enjoy your problem coz' it'll be fun while it lasts... Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Go up and talk to them if you notice they are interested. No reason to be wasting any opportunities if it's someone that looks interesting to you. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 85% Heh. Okay. If a woman is checking you out, smile. Go say hello. Introduce yourself. Make some small talk. Ask her a couple of casual, non-invasive questions about herself. Use her answers to transition into a real conversation. Most importantly, don't view a woman as an "other." They're people just like you so there's no special way to talk to them. And there's no special way to make them attracted to you. Just talk to them as you would anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuddenlyCute Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Do i just walk up and ask them if they want to go out on a date or would that be to forward? do women want to be asked out in places like a grocery stores or restaurants? Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 I'm wondering how u went from a zero to a hero? Did you lose 25+ pounds? I've pretty much looked the same since my early 20's except for my recedeing hair line. If you're asking how to cold approach I'd say don't waste your time. That's an unrealistic way to meet a potential GF. Shy away from OLD if you can, it's very hard for men unless you're in the top 10% of looks. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Do i just walk up and ask them if they want to go out on a date or would that be to forward? Not that it would be "too forward," exactly, but it would be kind of weird and I can't see that tactic being at all successful. I wouldn't go on a date with someone who just walked up and said, "Hey, wanna go out with me?" No, why would I? do women want to be asked out in places like a grocery stores or restaurants? Typically, no, they don't. They are at grocery stores/restaurants to buy groceries/eat dinner with friends. A lot of women would rather be left alone in those cases. But if someone is checking you out or giving you lots of eye contact, then you can try talking to them. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Do i just walk up and ask them if they want to go out on a date or would that be to forward? do women want to be asked out in places like a grocery stores or restaurants? Make small talk first, introduce yourself, and have a conversation. At the end of that, ask if you could call her sometime. If she's interested, she'll give you the number. Grocery stores are good places to meet women. Just make sure you check the ring finger first. I wouldn't recommend approaching women at a restaurant unless it's women sitting at the bar or there is dancing there also. But if they just came to eat, don't bother them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuddenlyCute Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 good stuff everyone. i am a little shy and not good with small talk what are some good questions to ask? what about when she is with some friends and just got done pointing my direction saying "he`s cute" and the others smile and nod. what should i do in that situation. witch will happen again next time go out of my house. even got "WOOO look at the hottie" from one group. i have no idea what to do when that happens. and i think it confuses them. as far as why i went from ugly to cute. i don`t fully know why. i know i stopped drinking that helped. cleaned up started to pay more attention to my appearance. and my work has become a lot more labor intensive so my muscles are growing. i think that has a lot to do with it. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Just enjoy your problem coz' it'll be fun while it lasts... Shyte yeh. Cograts on the turn around, though you don't give a lot a specifics (a little more muscle thats it?) as to what the secret of your success is that turned things around for you. It would be interesting to see a pic of you at 25 and one at 30. Look, you will screw things up to begin with by saying or doing the wrong things. The lucky thing for you now though is that the next opportunity for a woman that fancies you wont be far away. First off I would advise against confessing how you have had hardly any success with women and gave up on them. Secondly how about just go with the flow with these women. Is the attention you are getting is in a bar/club or out and about? If its the later then you are going to take the initiative more and strike up the conversations. The fact that they are 'VERY CLEARLY' interested, makes it really easy when it comes to conversation and escalating flirting and having it well received. Third. say how you would like to see more of them and ask for their number. Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 here is my story for most of my life at least when i started noticing girls i knew they did not like me (well at least not romantically). while in my 20's girls would do the "don't look at him don't talk to him thing". and walk by as fast as they could. random women would look at me and say "he is a creep" to there friends, anyway im now 30 and something has changed. i dont drink anymore i cleaned my self up i even have a little muscle now. well now its vary different when i see women. for the last 6 months they say things like "he is hot". i am also noticing a lot of heads turning. i have even been getting jealous looks from some of there boyfriends. so yea something is different now. as you can tell i am new to this whole thing. i went from 0% of women liking me to 85% of women i see showing an attraction. i have no idea how to react to them when they start giving body language that clearly shows they are attracted to me. (VARY CLEARLY) even my friends noticed this "behavior". Of course they are not any better at this then i am. i have never seen women act like this before and not sure how i should respond. i like some of them and would like to meet them or something but i have no idea where to begin. i gave up hope on ever finding love a long time ago. so i have no skills in this sort of thing. guess the old ugly duckling story is true (in my case anyway). i could not find much on the net about this kind of thing. lots of "how to attract women" and so on but i could not find much on what to do when they do find you attractive. go figure. any advice or input on this would be appreciated. Ask them straightforward to have sex. If they deny you move on or if they agree use them and throw them out. They discarded you your entire life. Now it is your turn. Payback is a bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 good stuff everyone. i am a little shy and not good with small talk what are some good questions to ask? what about when she is with some friends and just got done pointing my direction saying "he`s cute" and the others smile and nod. what should i do in that situation. witch will happen again next time go out of my house. even got "WOOO look at the hottie" from one group. i have no idea what to do when that happens. and i think it confuses them. as far as why i went from ugly to cute. i don`t fully know why. i know i stopped drinking that helped. cleaned up started to pay more attention to my appearance. and my work has become a lot more labor intensive so my muscles are growing. i think that has a lot to do with it. Pretty ballsy women in your neck of the woods. I'm starting to wonder if you're trolling. I'm not there yet but my head is on a swivel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuddenlyCute Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 i thought about trying some small talk but i can never think of anything to say. and i end up walking away leaving her there disappointed. wish one of them would just ask me out. i am thinking about seeing what would happen if i went to a bar/club. but still need to get the conversation thing down. a good analogy for my appearance change is the movie cast away i went from tom hanks at the end of his stay on the island to what he looked like in the beginning. of course i look nothing like tom hanks. but it was a big change in appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 what about when she is with some friends and just got done pointing my direction saying "he`s cute" and the others smile and nod. what should i do in that situation. witch will happen again next time go out of my house. even got "WOOO look at the hottie" from one group. Really? So woman are pretty much just catcalling you everywhere you go? 85% of them? Tell us more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuddenlyCute Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 Things move at a fast pace here and we get a lot of tourists. summer is ending so the crowds are starting to thin. im just now coming out of shock on the whole thing. how do you girls deal with it when a group of guys do that to you. it can be a little scary. what do you say. i just walk away. but sometimes i feel a little frisky and wish i could just start talking to them. but i`m not good with small talk. what should i say when i want the attention? and what should i say when i don`t? and if i did want to have sex with one. do you think the direct approach would work in situation like that. some do catcalls but not often that only happened once in my city and once at the airport. i do get the pointing and them saying he is cute a lot when i am in a car at stoplights and stuff like that. guess they think i cant hear them. some times i cant but at this point i know what there saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuddenlyCute Posted September 26, 2012 Author Share Posted September 26, 2012 well sounds like people don`t believe me. i don`t care. it wont change the fact that its happening. i see i am going to have to start talking to them. i have been looking around there is some good stuff on the net for making small talk. i think i can get something going only thing i cant find is a good way of asking for sex when the women is a stranger but is clearly interested in it. all the sites say just don't ask. but what about when you know for a fact that is what she wants? anyway i will start some small talk and see where it goes but i have been alone for a long time and might want to have a little fun before starting a long term relationship, thanks you for the input. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 do women want to be asked out in places like a grocery stores or restaurants? In the US it seems that they do, but if you're in the UK and you do that you'd be looked at as though you're mentally ill. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
looks Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 try winking and smiling back. it's not a bad thing. get out of your head a little edit: dont ask for sex. it needs to "just happen" Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 This happens to a lot of people--the way I see it is that as you enter your thirties you leave the twenties where there was a lot of emotionality wasted on perceptions based upon what your peers were doing, what you expected to happen by certain times, where you fit in the grand scheme of things which still had ties to who you were in school. As I entered my 30's I did a lot of things to define a new me--I stopped smoking, I lost weight, I realized I never dressed very well before and I started to put together the "next" me. It was a wonderful time and I had the same thing happen with the ladies. And I wasn't quite ready for it--there were a lot of opportunities I didn't realize were opportunities. One was this cute blond coming up to me in the subway where you buy your Metro card and she and I had just gotten off the same train. She started asking me for directions on the street above. Like a jerk, I stood there giving her directions. It took a little while to sink it that she didn't want directions. She was trying to engage me and if I weren't still partly in my 20's attitdue, I would have lied and told her "I'm going that way, would you like me to show you the way?" So, make the most of it and little white lies are OK, if they get you phone numbers or w/e. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanwolf Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 In the US it seems that they do, but if you're in the UK and you do that you'd be looked at as though you're mentally ill. My friend tried to approach a girl in Nandos once and well...she threatened to stab him with her fork... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 My friend tried to approach a girl in Nandos once and well...she threatened to stab him with her fork... F**k Nandos. OP, I have somewhat had the same problem and it is a little overwhelming at first, no matter how much you may think you want that interest. The best thing I can advise is to start talking to girls a LOT more and get comfortable with it. Read some books about conversations and talking. Maybe even some seduction based material so that you're more comfortable being able to escalate if you feel that girls are turning up the heat on the conversations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GirlontheLam Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Do i just walk up and ask them if they want to go out on a date or would that be to forward? do women want to be asked out in places like a grocery stores or restaurants? Smile, say hi, gauge her reaction. If she seems open to more conversation, follow up with something open-ended and contextual. Like in a coffee shop, you can say "do you live in the neighborhood or what's your fave drink." In a grocery store, let's say in the produce aisle, "do you have any unique ideas how to use <insert product name>?" If after a couple of minutes, things seem to be going well, then "close" with, it was great chatting with you, want to meet for coffee or drinks sometime next week? If she is interested, she'll counter with something like "Tuesday is good, here is my number." or "next week is really busy, but the week after is good...." Have fun and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Titanwolf Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 F**k Nandos. Lol tbh I'm not a fan either . I prefer more homely, oriental restaurants in Central. Link to post Share on other sites
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