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She's not ready to date, should I keep talking to her?


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Old 13th September 2012, 5:22 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CptSaveAho View Post
LOL............................................... ...................

You begged a girl for a date over weeks and an hour long phone session...

This is the worst advice on the forum for those wanting something meaningful...

The ops interest just got out of a 7 YEAR relationship. She's not datable by any means...Use your brain people.

1 month out of 7 year relationship, "Hey girl come out with me, I am begging you to use me as a rebound so I can fall in love and you can break up with me" LOL
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Old 13th September 2012, 6:02 PM   #17
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Okay, listen to me carefully and pay attention.

I just broke up with a girl with baggage from her relationship 5 years ago.

She was with a guy for 5 years, he cheated on her, she stayed single for the next 5 years but they attempted to get back together within those 5 years.

Even up to now, she's still affected and she admitted it to me on the mark of our 1st month being "official".

2 weeks later aKa 1 1/2 months later, she broke up with me because she's still confused or according to her, her feelings for me was not strong enough to hold our relationship together. Her exact words "there is chemistry, but there's something missing and I don't know what it is....".

Also, within the 1.5 months that we were together, she was a rollercoaster.

Day 1 she's very sweet, Day 2 she's so distant that I felt like I was invisible. Everytime something happens, she would compare me to her ex, although always a "positive" comparison that basically says "you're better", it's a fact that even though they haven't been together for 5 years, he's still in her mind.

My advice, walk away and save yourself from what I'm going through right now. It's not fun, I'm telling you. You will feel cheated, used, lied to, betrayed.
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Old 13th September 2012, 6:13 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Disenchantedly Yours View Post
Literally or figuratively Gaius?

What a hardass. You are going to have your work cut out for you with her.
Figuratively. I'm looking for more than just a date. I think she's a pretend hardass. Having fun so far.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CptSaveAho View Post
LOL............................................... ...................

You begged a girl for a date over weeks and an hour long phone session...

This is the worst advice on the forum for those wanting something meaningful...

The ops interest just got out of a 7 YEAR relationship. She's not datable by any means...Use your brain people.

1 month out of 7 year relationship, "Hey girl come out with me, I am begging you to use me as a rebound so I can fall in love and you can break up with me" LOL
You have no idea how women work. Or what a good woman is. I feel sad for you.

You have a shot if you really want it mamba. Follow my instructions.
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Old 13th September 2012, 6:20 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by JayL View Post
Okay, listen to me carefully and pay attention.

I just broke up with a girl with baggage from her relationship 5 years ago.

She was with a guy for 5 years, he cheated on her, she stayed single for the next 5 years but they attempted to get back together within those 5 years.

Even up to now, she's still affected and she admitted it to me on the mark of our 1st month being "official".

2 weeks later aKa 1 1/2 months later, she broke up with me because she's still confused or according to her, her feelings for me was not strong enough to hold our relationship together. Her exact words "there is chemistry, but there's something missing and I don't know what it is....".

Also, within the 1.5 months that we were together, she was a rollercoaster.

Day 1 she's very sweet, Day 2 she's so distant that I felt like I was invisible. Everytime something happens, she would compare me to her ex, although always a "positive" comparison that basically says "you're better", it's a fact that even though they haven't been together for 5 years, he's still in her mind.

My advice, walk away and save yourself from what I'm going through right now. It's not fun, I'm telling you. You will feel cheated, used, lied to, betrayed.
So you assume this girl also has baggage. Or that she didn't start to mentally separate from this guy when they were still together. Check the breakup section, you can find tons of stories of guys wondering how their girlfriends they've been with forever just jumped into a brand new relationship. It isn't always a rebound. This girl showed her hand when she said maybe after he first asked, the thought of dating again is appealing to her. She's mamba's for the taking if he wants to put in the effort of working her past her hesitation. Only one way to find out if she's really ready or not. Can't have reward without some risk.
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Old 13th September 2012, 7:40 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gaius View Post
So you assume this girl also has baggage. Or that she didn't start to mentally separate from this guy when they were still together. Check the breakup section, you can find tons of stories of guys wondering how their girlfriends they've been with forever just jumped into a brand new relationship. It isn't always a rebound. This girl showed her hand when she said maybe after he first asked, the thought of dating again is appealing to her. She's mamba's for the taking if he wants to put in the effort of working her past her hesitation. Only one way to find out if she's really ready or not. Can't have reward without some risk.
You're too positive.... Although, this girl may be available.

Only way to find out is to give it a try.

It's up to the OP if he wants to risk getting hurt or not.
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Old 17th September 2012, 9:29 PM   #21
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Gaius and JayL, you both make excellent points lol. I think what i'll do is stay right in the middle. Now this girl just got out of a 7 year relationship, and the reason she broke up is because her bf moved to SoCal for work related purposes and they both "mutually" agree to break up because I assume they lost the feelings. But I'm thinking, what if he comes back permanently? So what I'll do is stay in the middle, continue talking and flirting with her, but don't expect anything top come out of it. Problem now is she stopped texting me since last thurs and I haven't initiated any convo with her and I need to find a way to start the convo again . Do you guys have any advices?
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Old 17th September 2012, 9:30 PM   #22
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like JayL said...give it a try.
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