OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Well Tomo marks a month I've known this one girl and things have been good.we talk all the time hell even had sex twice so we are working our way to a serious rs ( or so it seems).i met her online I was bored checking a message someone sent me and notice she's online .not gonna lie when I saw that figured eh maybe same thing I was doing .well her pics have been updated even ones as recent as a week ago at her family party.So why would someone maintain a profile when you claim to be really into me?I dunno even how to bring it up or if I should I dunno now I'm kinda worried. :-/ Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Disable your dating profile tonight and the next time you get together tell her, in person, that you did so and ask her how she feels about that. 'I'm really only interested in dating you right now and seeing where we go. I went ahead and disabled my dating profile last Monday. How do you feel about that?' Listen. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 I could disable my account but then hers will still be active most Likly ?guess I'm worried she claims she's not talking to any other guy ,she's so into me and never invites guys over I've been the first in like a year .should I start backing away and play the friend card sigh .Guess I'm anger and feel sick .maybd make a bogus account and message her heh jk Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Don't presume. Communicate. Listen. Watch for actions. A woman will tell you everything you need to know if you just watch and listen. It works. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 Guess I let my anger get the best of me I just picked her up from work acted cold.shes like wanna come inside I said nope I gotta go I got plans .shes was like um ok .then sent me this Let me know when ever you want to talk about what just happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 Don't presume. Communicate. Listen. Watch for actions. A woman will tell you everything you need to know if you just watch and listen. It works.I have been listening though and from what I gathered she is head over heels into me.but with that being said this isn't fb we are talking about why keep your dating profile as current as pics from this past saturday?is it for potential friends see how good you look sigh Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 This is called shooting yourself in the foot At this point you can still walk but avoid aiming the gun at your balls. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 Well should I text her just say I'm just tired and bs her or what I think going to bed Mia will seal my fate right Btw sorry I'm being a hard head thanks for helping Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I could disable my account but then hers will still be active most Likly ?guess I'm worried she claims she's not talking to any other guy Disable you account and stop worrying about hers. Look, if she likes you enough her account won't matter. And if she doesn't, nothing you can do will change anything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 Disable you account and stop worrying about hers. Look, if she likes you enough her account won't matter. And if she doesn't, nothing you can do will change anything.true that but if your moving in the right Step and pretty much are bf/gf should you maintain a dating profile ?If the shoe was on the other foot I'm sure ppl would saying I'm trying to have my cake and eat it to ?I dunno maybe I should played it cool and said oh btw not that it matters I deleted my profile and wait see if she lies if so assume she's shady? Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 Well just had a convo guess I sealed my fate Bro, I'm not dealing with you anymore. Too temperamental for my taste. Last night was stupid. So we're not gona talk about it ? Yeah. Well. You gave me to much time to think about what happened. You were beyond rude last night. Can I call ? No. I'm not interested in talking. Last night not gonna lie I was ok till I was in the car I figured Tomo makes a month kinda wanted to see when I first message you.i go and what do I see u logged in to that site and top it off updated pics kinda confused me.guess I over did it but am falling for you just didn't know what to think .i wasn't gonna say anything cuz I still trust you and it could be meaningless why you still log on.anyway guess I sealed my fate That was an hour no reply so guess its pretty much over at this point.ill back off maybe she will cool down Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I guess the gun went off and hit the balls after all. Way to go..... Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 (edited) C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N There was absolutely none of that here. After only a month you're acting like a immature brat. How easy would this have been, "Hey XX. There's something I wanted to ask you about. I logged onto XX dating site and went to disable my account. I love what we have going here and I'd like to make it exclusive. I noticed however that you're profile has been updated recently with new pictures. I just want to know if we're on the same page or if you're still looking to date around." Instead... "No we can't hang out. I got plans." And then, "Should I just BS her and say I'm tired?" Went and blew those balls right off. She's smart. You're just another statistic within OLD'ers on how the majority on there are damaged, psychos, immature, etc, etc etc. She's not going to tolerate BS, and you just handed it to her on a silver platter. She's gone. Edited September 11, 2012 by KatZee 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N There was absolutely none of that here. After only a month you're acting like a immature brat. ^^^ THIS ^^^ If you are seriously like this, OP, she is better off without you. What a jerk... Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 Is there anything I can do to recover this or it's a done deal Link to post Share on other sites
oldskl Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 you were given advice you asked for, and you went against it. shes already labelled you unpredictable, and confessing to why u blew cold on her will only justify what she thinks. you can't really win now, and ull forever be in second place to her if the relationship progresses, your power will be gone. if you fix this, that will be impressive. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Is there anything I can do to recover this or it's a done deal You've already proven yourself to lack communication, you treat those you claim to be "falling for" like garbage, toss her aside due to your anger issues... no one in their right mind would continue on in this. One month is nothing. She can walk away and wipe her hands clean of you with no real consequence. On to the next. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 11, 2012 Author Share Posted September 11, 2012 So by contacting her and trying to let her hear me out am I just making my case worse .Or should I just give it a few days and call :-( Thanks again for all the advice .i wish I listened to it better I could have saved this Link to post Share on other sites
oldskl Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 In this case where you seriously messed up, and your only friend is time. Time and an apology. I urge you if you REALLY want to salvage this, if it is remotely possible, then play a little waiting game. Let the dust settle and after a good few days you can come back here and we will help you think of how to apologise without sounding like a d!ck and being needy. For now, pestering her with saying sorry blah blah is worthless. One month is nothing to her. She can forget you as easy as pie. Just wait. And if you dare tell us you texted a wimpy message asking her back, then she's better without you. That's my two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
weallfalldown Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I'm sorry, but she well ove reacted.....how arrogant to just blow you out, because you were concerned?.....she aint worth it mate....let her be. She's still on a dating site after a month?.....major red flag.....what a beatchhhhhhhhhh..... Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Is there anything I can do to recover this or it's a done deal WTF why did you flip out and act like a loon with the passive-aggressiveness and then confrontation? jfc! you were given PERFECT advice by carhill, did you even read it? good luck with the next one, you need to leave this girl alone now. Link to post Share on other sites
weallfalldown Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 are you for real?.......jeez if she can't even talk about it, and sort things she's no good to anyone.......i think you did ok fella........and she really isn't worth the bother. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Taking down your profile a month in would of sent her running for the next guy. Telling her "I love what we have here...." would of sent her running for the next guy. Both of those REEK of too much too soon, although you both have had sex a couple of times. I don't know how cold you were I wasn't there. You met online and the next better guy is one click away. You gave her her out and she took it. Women have the upper hand when it comes to online, you can't be human, one **** up and it's over. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 Taking down your profile a month in would of sent her running for the next guy. Telling her "I love what we have here...." would of sent her running for the next guy. Both of those REEK of too much too soon, although you both have had sex a couple of times. I don't know how cold you were I wasn't there. You met online and the next better guy is one click away. You gave her her out and she took it. Women have the upper hand when it comes to online, you can't be human, one **** up and it's over. After a month I think it's fine for him to take down his profile and to tell her. I don't think that would make any normal girl run for the hills. The passive aggressive BS though...hell yeah. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted September 11, 2012 Share Posted September 11, 2012 I'm sorry, but she well ove reacted.....how arrogant to just blow you out, because you were concerned?.....she aint worth it mate....let her be. She's still on a dating site after a month?.....major red flag.....what a beatchhhhhhhhhh..... 0_o are you reading the same posts we are? He found her on a dating site, and they've been "seeing each other" for about a month. Instead of talking like a human being he acts like an immature freak. HE over reacted. Not her. Dropping her off? Saying he had "plans" and that he was going to BS her and not tell the truth? Come on. They're not even OFFICIAL so who cares she's on a dating site still. Casual dating = FREE GAME. No one has made ANY commitment to the other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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