julia_tran123 Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Me and my ex were together for 2 and a half years ... So this breakup was out of the blue, we were sorting out our issues and things were going well. Until i said to him we should spark the relationship up - make it more exciting. And it just went down hill from there .. he said I've fallen out of love with you .. we can be good friends .. etc .. mind you this all happened in a day. The day before all this, he approached me and spoke to me about our issues and he reassured me that "this is not a break up, i love you too much to lose you". I am really confused at the moment .. So 3 days later he messages and emails and calls .. and it pretty much said "i hope your doing ok, please call me if you need to talk". I didn't reply to him till the next day later saying .. i just need space. He then messaged again, to say he really hopes i am ok, and he cares for me too much, and would really want to get to the point where we are friends .. What does this all mean!??!?! Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 I have been there. Yes you can go from being lovers to friends in a situation like yours. My mother tells me that part of growing up and having a really mature relationship is learning that you will both not be "in love" all the time. That there is an ebb and flow a give and take to relationships. At the basis of a long relationship is being very good friends, this gets you through the times when you are both not having those madly in love feelings. My advice depends on the answer to a question. Did it feel like real love when you were with them? If it did feel real then try to work through this with them. Don't be super available give eachother space and come back to talk about it after cooling off for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author julia_tran123 Posted September 2, 2012 Author Share Posted September 2, 2012 it did feel real, i am tempted to call him and say that i am doing ok, and i have accepted his decision .. but should i do it in person? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Yes see him in person. You had two I assume happy years together. An in person goodbye is hardly beyond hope. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author julia_tran123 Posted September 2, 2012 Author Share Posted September 2, 2012 so if you don't mind me asking, are you still friends with your ex? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 (edited) Well yes and no. I had words with her current BF a while back and she cut me off. He did not like me in particular communicating with her. Communication with her since been reopened a little. You see that can happen though because we had known eachother since 1999. We were on and off from then until 2004. We have both had other people since then but never permanently totally ended the friendship due to one of them. I can only cite two reasons for this. Good real friends are really hard to find in this life. Her child who was born with timing which could mean I am his biological father resembles me. Why that hasn't been settled is very complicated. For those reasons while ties have been very frayed, sometimes for long periods, neither side has been wiling to have a total cut off. (i.e. She kept lines of communication open to my mother, and her brother kept lines open to me at our lowest point.) Now I have no designs or desires to get back together with this person. You on the other hand may be able to have a relationship with your ex. Just give them space for a while and whatever happens happens. Someone better for you in terms of romance could come along. Edited September 2, 2012 by Mrlonelyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author julia_tran123 Posted September 3, 2012 Author Share Posted September 3, 2012 Waoh, the situation you were in seemed very sticky - i hope things are all right with you now. Thanks for your time Link to post Share on other sites
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