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new girlfriend, not sure about her


02diego

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ok so a few weeks ago I met this girl at a party and she seemed really cool we immediately hit it off and started talking so after a few hours of knowing her I went in for a kiss and she liked it. so when the party was almost over I got her phone number and left. we went on about 4 dates and we were really passionate on those dates with each other we didnt have sex or anything but we did make out a lot. so yesterday was our 5th date and I actually asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. She is really sweet with me she randomly sends me texts saying that she misses me and that she is always thinking about me which is cool to me. she is always posting on Facebook how much she enjoys my company and how she feels like she met the right one. she moved to the US from mexico a year ago and she says that since then she hasnt gone on any dates which seems weird to me because she is beautiful. But like I said she really tells me things that make me think that she really likes me, she never talks to anybody on the phone when we are together and she is always up for doing anything I ask on a date. I gave her flowers yesterday and she even took pictures of them and posted them on FB which means that she really appreciated them. She says that all she does is work and go home and doesnt really have a big social life. But here is where it gets interesting, tonight I was hanging out with my friend who had the party where we met and he told me that the night that I met her she had sex with some guy after I left and that the only reason he told me was because he didnt want me to think that she was the perfect girl. at first I didnt believe it until another friend of mine that was there said that it was true but that he saw how happy I was and didnt want to ruin things. So now I know that its true. So should I keep seeing her or should I break up with her? We had just met when that happened but its still kind of dirty to meet a guy kiss him and then have sex with another guy that same night. Should she have told me about it now that we are together or do you think she is to ashamed to talk about it? I just dont know what to do. its not cheating because we werent together when it happened and I do believe what she says about her social life because she lives in a small boring town 30 minutes away from the city where I live so there isnt much to do there, do you think she was just really horny that night or what? I really like this girl and when we are together its like if the world around us doesnt exist.WHAT DO I DO. and give me real honest answers no immature hit it and quit it type of answers please it would really be appreciated.

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For future reference, try to avoid a wall of text. Make some paragraphs and clean it up a bit. You'll get more responses that way and it's easy to follow.

 

You are right, you guys weren't dating that night when you first kissed so really... I don't know. I wouldn't hold her accountable for that, but I would question her character. I'm going to guess that you're younger as well, so.. young single people at a party, drinking it up? Sex is bound to happen.

 

If it bothers you this much, try to talk to her about it.

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todreaminblue
ok so a few weeks ago I met this girl at a party and she seemed really cool we immediately hit it off and started talking so after a few hours of knowing her I went in for a kiss and she liked it. so when the party was almost over I got her phone number and left. we went on about 4 dates and we were really passionate on those dates with each other we didnt have sex or anything but we did make out a lot. so yesterday was our 5th date and I actually asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. She is really sweet with me she randomly sends me texts saying that she misses me and that she is always thinking about me which is cool to me. she is always posting on Facebook how much she enjoys my company and how she feels like she met the right one. she moved to the US from mexico a year ago and she says that since then she hasnt gone on any dates which seems weird to me because she is beautiful. But like I said she really tells me things that make me think that she really likes me, she never talks to anybody on the phone when we are together and she is always up for doing anything I ask on a date. I gave her flowers yesterday and she even took pictures of them and posted them on FB which means that she really appreciated them. She says that all she does is work and go home and doesnt really have a big social life. But here is where it gets interesting, tonight I was hanging out with my friend who had the party where we met and he told me that the night that I met her she had sex with some guy after I left and that the only reason he told me was because he didnt want me to think that she was the perfect girl. at first I didnt believe it until another friend of mine that was there said that it was true but that he saw how happy I was and didnt want to ruin things. So now I know that its true. So should I keep seeing her or should I break up with her? We had just met when that happened but its still kind of dirty to meet a guy kiss him and then have sex with another guy that same night. Should she have told me about it now that we are together or do you think she is to ashamed to talk about it? I just dont know what to do. its not cheating because we werent together when it happened and I do believe what she says about her social life because she lives in a small boring town 30 minutes away from the city where I live so there isnt much to do there, do you think she was just really horny that night or what? I really like this girl and when we are together its like if the world around us doesnt exist.WHAT DO I DO. and give me real honest answers no immature hit it and quit it type of answers please it would really be appreciated.

 

 

 

there is no perfect girl you could talk to her about it but it will probably be a hard subject to start if she wasnt with you, she didnt technically cheat on you.

 

be honest and open and hopefully for you she will be the same way.I would be and most women would not mind talking about it once the subject is there.You can try and that is all you can do.If you can let it go what happened let it go and concentrate on the future if you cant then you need to speak about it....good luck in life and love....deb

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yea im 21 and she is 20 if that means anything.thanks for the advice I just want to know if I should be with someone who would do something like that

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Ninjainpajamas

You're both quite young and yes, no woman is perfect just like no man is perfect.

 

When you're a young guy though you think women are holding themselves to a higher more conservative standard than the hounding horny men are, but they're only human as well and they're going to give in or want it themselves because we're human beings...the whole purpose of our us is to be attracted to each other.

 

You also have to understand that the majority of women are vastly insecure, without some external validation they plummet into a black hole of self pity and feel a loss of value.

 

It's a stinger though nonetheless to know the girl you were making out with ended up sexing up another guy at the party, It's unfortunate news and definitely the last thing you want to hear...personally at your age I would have been so turned off I would have probably dropped her. Don't know If I'd be willing to "understand" or get the thought out of my head that she's banging some random guy at a party after I kissed her.

 

But you seem very interested in her and a nicer guy than I was...more forgiving, so If that's the case I'd talk to her about that, and ask her about that situation and why she did it. She'll probably give you a drunken excuse and she just did it without much thinking or she might deny it, or she might just feel horrible about you knowing about it.

 

If you really think you can take the high road then forget about it altogether and just move on as it didn't happen in your relationship or while together and you had just met her..it wasn't like she owed you anything or could have known what this could turn into and because she did that doesn't mean you won't have a good relationship or anything..plus you'll get to sex her up more than once...i guess that's a bright side than just half drunk at a party? plus you'll have her emotions/heart and that's worth more than a vagina alone.

 

Honestly she probably won't break it down to you why she did it, but she more than likely just did it because it happened or turned out that way...a lot of women just go with the flow, if the guy knows what he's doing or catches her in the right emotional state or mood then he takes advantage of it and gets laid...plus you guys are young, crap like that is going to happen...maybe that's not your thing which is fine, but many women when they're young are going to participate in that at one time or another...when you're older you won't even ask or care about a womans past, in fact it's best you don't even think about...plus who knows what your past will look like, in the big picture this is very minor...chances are you won't be with this girl forever anyway hate to tell ya :S It's a learning experience.

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Ninjainpajamas

Oh and another important thing, make sure you guys both go down and get tested for STDS at a free clinic, also make sure she gets on some birth control....hispanic women get pregnant just by looking at them! don't take the risk and have some peace of mind.

 

It might be a weird thing to do, but If you're having sex STD's aren't just for older people or grown-ups, be responsible.

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