Thanks, TitanWolf, very good one. I hadn't thought of that one, mainly because I've never been subjected to it. But they will often try to make you the bad guy when they dump you by manipulating the situation like this.
Rocketman, I think the "we need to talk" statement is the breakup. I'm talking about things they'll say or do days or weeks prior to the breakup.
- They start saying or doing things that they know bother you.
- They stop caring about your opinion, or stop asking for your input.
- They start acting secretive.
- Affection and sex stop or slow way down.
- They stop picking up your calls, and don't reply to emails, texts, calls.
- Your priority level in their life goes down.
- They start working out, dressing differently, or acting differently.
- The girl stops showing any interest in hanging out with you.
- The girl stops calling you/ stops picking up your calls.
- The girl stops being affectionate with you (ie: will pull her hand back if you try to hold it, won't initiate kissing, will turn down sex.)
- The girl will appear emotionally withdrawn, distracted.
- The girl will become snippy, easily irritated, she may start arguments.
- The girl will become extremely critical, pointing out all the things that now annoy her.
pteromom and KatZee pretty much have it covered. Another sign is they have become friends with another guy. Most likely, that guy is moving in on your girl being her friend first then gives her "advice" on your relationship.
What was your answer to her when she inquired where your relationship was going?
I told her I don't know. I mean, she might as well have asked me if I was gonna marry her. Of course, she asks this at the end of a 14 hour day at my desk, I'm exhausted and mentally drained at the time.
I'm convinced, anytime your girl starts acting strange like this, it's because she's allowed another guy into the picture. Always.
I just want to know the warning signs so I can make first strike next time. Sadly, dumping a girl is one of the best ways to make her fall more in love with you. I hate this, but it's true. When you get dumped, all you can think about is the person who dumped you. It's emotional investment, and the more investment she makes, the more she'll love you.
I also noticed she was a tad bit snippy towards the end and she did a few things that she probably knew would bother me.
With relationships now days, it's almost a horse race to see who can dump who first. Cell phones have ruined humanity forever.
Number 1 for me is communication from their end dwindles to almost nothing.
They start to break plans often without giving 2 sh*ts about how much preparation you may have put into them.
They'll often not be able to see you because one of their friends is in some strife & needs their comforting. Of course it isn't true and if in these final moments, you need some comforting they're 'too busy'
(1) Texts that end the conversation whether than encourage it along. "Hope you have a good day!" in response to your text versus "How is your day going?"
(2) More and more big plans in her life that don't involve you. She planning a trip to somewhere she's always wanted to go with her best friend or by herself. It's a big experience for her but she wants to share that experience with someone other than you.
(3) She takes up hobbies she's sure you aren't into and doesn't encourage you to join in some way. A more subtle version of (2) above. It now becomes in her mind (her way of rationalizing) an issue of you two "just growing apart". See if she were still really into you, she would want to grow WITH you
(4) Just an overall drop in responsiveness. She could be planning a big trip to somewhere she's always wanted to go with her best friend and she could be taking up yoga as her "me" time, but if she is still happily responding to your texts and eagerly hanging out with you, then things are probably great. But if it takes longer to respond to your communication and suddenly all these other things going on in her life are getting in the way of hanging out, then it aint looking good.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.