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Warning signs that she's about to dump you


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Old 21st August 2012, 6:46 PM   #1
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Warning signs that she's about to dump you

I just got dumped by a girlfriend of over a year. The warning signs were there, but I just didn't pay them any attention.

1.) About three weeks ago, and then last week, she said "I need to ask you a serious question. Is this going somewhere, us?"

2.) From the time we started dating until about two weeks ago, she always had my picture as the background of her iPhone. It was changed to a generic background of clouds or whatever recently.

Another girl that dumped me back in college, I went over to her dorm room, and she hugged me and said "I don't want to lose you." She dumped me shortly after that.

Anyone else have any good warning signs to be on the lookout for?
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Old 21st August 2012, 6:49 PM   #2
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When they start picking fights with you. You know she's looking for a reason to make you the culprit. I've witnessed this through friends, clear as day.
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Old 21st August 2012, 6:49 PM   #3
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how about the "we need to talk" statement?
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Old 21st August 2012, 6:52 PM   #4
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Thanks, TitanWolf, very good one. I hadn't thought of that one, mainly because I've never been subjected to it. But they will often try to make you the bad guy when they dump you by manipulating the situation like this.

Rocketman, I think the "we need to talk" statement is the breakup. I'm talking about things they'll say or do days or weeks prior to the breakup.
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Old 21st August 2012, 6:58 PM   #5
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- They start saying or doing things that they know bother you.
- They stop caring about your opinion, or stop asking for your input.
- They start acting secretive.
- Affection and sex stop or slow way down.
- They stop picking up your calls, and don't reply to emails, texts, calls.
- Your priority level in their life goes down.
- They start working out, dressing differently, or acting differently.
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Old 21st August 2012, 7:05 PM   #6
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- The girl stops showing any interest in hanging out with you.
- The girl stops calling you/ stops picking up your calls.
- The girl stops being affectionate with you (ie: will pull her hand back if you try to hold it, won't initiate kissing, will turn down sex.)
- The girl will appear emotionally withdrawn, distracted.
- The girl will become snippy, easily irritated, she may start arguments.
- The girl will become extremely critical, pointing out all the things that now annoy her.
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Old 21st August 2012, 9:09 PM   #7
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pteromom and KatZee pretty much have it covered. Another sign is they have become friends with another guy. Most likely, that guy is moving in on your girl being her friend first then gives her "advice" on your relationship.
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Old 21st August 2012, 10:12 PM   #8
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- She accepts your family heirloom engagement ring and is the happiest girl on earth.
- She calls you multiple times throughout the day.
- Texts you that she misses you and "more"

oh.. wait. Disregard this list. Only my wack job ex is this screwed up.
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Old 21st August 2012, 11:04 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IJustWantLove View Post
I just got dumped by a girlfriend of over a year. The warning signs were there, but I just didn't pay them any attention.

1.) About three weeks ago, and then last week, she said "I need to ask you a serious question. Is this going somewhere, us?"

2.) From the time we started dating until about two weeks ago, she always had my picture as the background of her iPhone. It was changed to a generic background of clouds or whatever recently.

Another girl that dumped me back in college, I went over to her dorm room, and she hugged me and said "I don't want to lose you." She dumped me shortly after that.

Anyone else have any good warning signs to be on the lookout for?
Can I ask you a question? What was your answer to her when she inquired where your relationship was going?

And as to the girl who dumped you back in college... had you done something for her to suddenly have a change of heart (i.e. to "lose you")?

I'm not playing devil's advocate, I'm just very curious.
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Old 22nd August 2012, 9:18 AM   #10
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What was your answer to her when she inquired where your relationship was going?

I told her I don't know. I mean, she might as well have asked me if I was gonna marry her. Of course, she asks this at the end of a 14 hour day at my desk, I'm exhausted and mentally drained at the time.

I'm convinced, anytime your girl starts acting strange like this, it's because she's allowed another guy into the picture. Always.

I just want to know the warning signs so I can make first strike next time. Sadly, dumping a girl is one of the best ways to make her fall more in love with you. I hate this, but it's true. When you get dumped, all you can think about is the person who dumped you. It's emotional investment, and the more investment she makes, the more she'll love you.

I also noticed she was a tad bit snippy towards the end and she did a few things that she probably knew would bother me.

With relationships now days, it's almost a horse race to see who can dump who first. Cell phones have ruined humanity forever.
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Old 22nd August 2012, 9:21 AM   #11
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If anyone can think of more warning signs to post here, I'm definitely paying attention.
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Old 22nd August 2012, 10:02 AM   #12
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I've been dumped a few times in the past

Number 1 for me is communication from their end dwindles to almost nothing.

They start to break plans often without giving 2 sh*ts about how much preparation you may have put into them.

They'll often not be able to see you because one of their friends is in some strife & needs their comforting. Of course it isn't true and if in these final moments, you need some comforting they're 'too busy'

Etc, etc
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Old 22nd August 2012, 10:20 AM   #13
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Yes, I agree, unavailable to spend time with you is a HUGE red flag after you've slept with them a few times, even if there's not a real "relationship" established yet.
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Old 22nd August 2012, 11:11 AM   #14
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(1) Texts that end the conversation whether than encourage it along. "Hope you have a good day!" in response to your text versus "How is your day going?"

(2) More and more big plans in her life that don't involve you. She planning a trip to somewhere she's always wanted to go with her best friend or by herself. It's a big experience for her but she wants to share that experience with someone other than you.

(3) She takes up hobbies she's sure you aren't into and doesn't encourage you to join in some way. A more subtle version of (2) above. It now becomes in her mind (her way of rationalizing) an issue of you two "just growing apart". See if she were still really into you, she would want to grow WITH you

(4) Just an overall drop in responsiveness. She could be planning a big trip to somewhere she's always wanted to go with her best friend and she could be taking up yoga as her "me" time, but if she is still happily responding to your texts and eagerly hanging out with you, then things are probably great. But if it takes longer to respond to your communication and suddenly all these other things going on in her life are getting in the way of hanging out, then it aint looking good.
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Last edited by Imajerk17; 22nd August 2012 at 11:13 AM..
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Old 22nd August 2012, 11:16 AM   #15
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Anyone else have any good warning signs to be on the lookout for?
In my LTR's and M, they got mean, out of character mean, before terminating. I got no feedback in my LTR's but friends commented to me on it after my D.
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