iris219 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Let’s say you have a crystal ball and it reveals that you will never be in a relationship. You won’t have sex or date either, or if you do it will be very rarely and it won’t be with anyone who has relationship potential. Could you be OK with that? How would you handle it? (This is aimed at people who desire a relationship.) Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I wouldn't be ok with it, specially the no sex part. I'd just break the stupid crystal ball and go get some hot sex to prove the broken ball wrong. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Bristolius Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I'd be OK with it mostly, probably bummed out from time to time. One way I'd deal would be to remember that plenty of fine people are in the same situation. Another way to feel OK about it is to acknowledge and enjoy the special freedom that comes from being single. Remember there is no crystal ball. The future is not known. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Let’s say you have a crystal ball and it reveals that you will never be in a relationship. You won’t have sex or date either, or if you do it will be very rarely and it won’t be with anyone who has relationship potential. Could you be OK with that? How would you handle it? (This is aimed at people who desire a relationship.) The only way for this to become a reality is to have my penis fall off then spend the rest of my life in a coma. Why both? Because hollywood has taught me that even men in coma's get some. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iris219 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 I agree that we can’t predict the future with certainty, but past events are often an indicator of future events. The knowledge that I would be forever single would be freeing in that I’d have to accept my eternal singledom and focus my energy on other things. I’d start deciding what I’m going to do about having children and work towards making it happen, whereas now I wait and hope I meet someone to have children with. While I suspect that I will always be single (can’t imagine it any other way), the hope that I won’t keeps me from entirely accepting the situation. I'd be OK with it mostly, probably bummed out from time to time. One way I'd deal would be to remember that plenty of fine people are in the same situation. Another way to feel OK about it is to acknowledge and enjoy the special freedom that comes from being single. Right. Now everyone ends up with someone, so it's a valid concern in my case. If I knew for certain I'd always be single, I'd make sure to nurture the friendships I have now even more than I do and appreciate even more the people I have in my life. I'd also try to cultivate new, close friendships to ensure I'm not alone on holidays and such in the future. Sure, I could do these things now, but there would be of a sense of urgency if I knew I'd never have a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I would be much more at ease knowing that no matter what I do, I will be single. In a way, it would be a relief and less stressful knowing this. Of course, this doesn't mean mean that I will do w/o sex. A lot of dating would still be in the picture...what a relief! No need to ever worry about commitment... Link to post Share on other sites
Pompom Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Suicidal. I want 6 kids and a loving, horny husband. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 i would NOT be okay with that i dont think anyone wants to spend their entire life alone this might come off wrong but i think i would kill myself, im already so lonely as it is Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 If you don't want to be single but out there and be more proactive. If you want something than take the steps to accomplish it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 to not wake up spooning my loved one..? oish..that would be hard. Id give up bodybuilding to love another.... Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Honestly? I KNOW it is not actually possible that I will never date/have sex again..as there are always options there. A relationship is a lot more elusive. Being single forever is something I have accepted years ago. In a way, relationship with my ex took be by such a huge surprise, that I never could quite believe it actually happened. I always waited for the "shoe to drop" and even though we came extremely close to getting married, I mostly just sabotaged the whole thing out of fear With that under my belt, I am a lot calmer now and even more certain that it's not going to happen for me. I feel reasonably happy with my life as it is and I honesty think that I could be happy without ever getting married/having kids 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 The thread title is completely misleading, and is in fact completely changed by the OP's first post... how I'd feel knowing I'd always be single would bother me nit one iota - but the first post changes the question completely. so really, i'd like clarification as to why being single should equate with never having sex again.... Let’s say you have a crystal ball and it reveals that you will never be in a relationship. ....so? You won’t have sex or date either, Now see, this is moving the goalposts - to different continents.... this is where 'being single' and 'not having sex' are diametrically opposed.... it's actually easier for some, to have sex, while they're single - than in a relationship!! or if you do it will be very rarely and it won’t be with anyone who has relationship potential. ....so? Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 There's no way I would not have sex. Being single is fine. I was single for 8 years in a row, so I'm ok with it. But no sex? Yeah... that's not happening. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I'd see no point in going on. It's how my life has been so far. There is no way could even handle five more years of this crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iris219 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 The thread title is completely misleading, and is in fact completely changed by the OP's first post... how I'd feel knowing I'd always be single would bother me nit one iota - but the first post changes the question completely. so really, i'd like clarification as to why being single should equate with never having sex again.... ....so? Now see, this is moving the goalposts - to different continents.... this is where 'being single' and 'not having sex' are diametrically opposed.... it's actually easier for some, to have sex, while they're single - than in a relationship!! ....so? I don't think the title is misleading because the elements in the post are all connected, or at least for me they are. What I meant is that you’d rarely, if ever, have the opportunity to date or sleep with anyone, which is connected to never being in a relationship (or could be). Basically, I meant, "What would you do if you knew you’d be alone forever?", meaning little to no contact with the opposite sex in an intimate or romantic way at all. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 We obviously have different definitions of 'single'. Perhaps you also equate being 'alone' with being 'lonely'....? I for one do not - and as a 55 year-old woman in her 3rd marriage, sometimes, being single sounds like heaven!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Let’s say you have a crystal ball and it reveals that you will never be in a relationship. You won’t have sex or date either, or if you do it will be very rarely and it won’t be with anyone who has relationship potential. Could you be OK with that? How would you handle it? (This is aimed at people who desire a relationship.) I wouldn't be OK with it, but I'd handle it. I did pretty well up until the other day I'd be content with just making music, money and watching football Link to post Share on other sites
Author iris219 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 Interesting how the answers range from you'd be suicidal to you'd accept it to you'd have no problem being happy without it. I'm in the middle. I'd accept it, but it's not what I want. I wouldn't be suicidal, but my life wouldn't be as fulfilling without a relationship. I'd find ways to enjoy my life, but something would always be missing. I wonder what differentiates the people who could handle it and those who think they can't? What is it about them that makes them accepting or unaccepting of being alone? Some have said they'd still date and have sex, but what if that wasn't an option? Link to post Share on other sites
boaaaar Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Not hugely bothered tbh. At least I would dodge some downsides like signing the stupid contract, being grounded for 20 years and it would save me at least 200k $ of my life budget. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I'm unaccepting of a future life of loneliness simply because it's all I've known so far. I know things will only get worse the older I get. I seriously can't imagine being 45 and getting off work and coming home to an empty house. That would only mean that I have failed. What would be the point to living? Link to post Share on other sites
Author iris219 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 We obviously have different definitions of 'single'. Perhaps you also equate being 'alone' with being 'lonely'....? I for one do not - and as a 55 year-old woman in her 3rd marriage, sometimes, being single sounds like heaven!!! Not necessarily lonely, but alone does mean that I won't have what I most desire. Most of us are built to love and share our lives with a partner, and without that something will be missing. If I had children, I think I could cope better with not having a relationship. I'm unaccepting of a future life of loneliness simply because it's all I've known so far. I know things will only get worse the older I get. I seriously can't imagine being 45 and getting off work and coming home to an empty house. That would only mean that I have failed. What would be the point to living? Most people want a relationship, but not everyone gets one. For many people, coming home to an empty house is a reality. They still manage to be happy and lead productive lives. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Interesting how the answers range from you'd be suicidal to you'd accept it to you'd have no problem being happy without it. I'm in the middle. I'd accept it, but it's not what I want. I wouldn't be suicidal, but my life wouldn't be as fulfilling without a relationship. I'd find ways to enjoy my life, but something would always be missing. I wonder what differentiates the people who could handle it and those who think they can't? What is it about them that makes them accepting or unaccepting of being alone? Some have said they'd still date and have sex, but what if that wasn't an option? I'd be fine. I did a pretty good job of handling celibacy up until the other day I just think I'm much more adept at handling it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Not necessarily lonely, but alone does mean that I won't have what I most desire. Most of us are built to love and share our lives with a partner, and without that something will be missing. If I had children, I think I could cope better with not having a relationship. Interesting. now we're getting somewhere... Why is this what you 'most desire'...? Is this your highest ambition? Why do you believe that 'most of us are "built" to live and share our lives with a partner? Where did you learn this? Why have you accepted it as desirable? why do you feel something would be 'missing'. What, exactly? Do you think it's wise to consider having children outside of a relationship? Would you consider adopting, if you didn't have a relationship? Why do you consider it wise or desirable to have children at all? Why do you want children? I'm not attacking you or criticising... I'm getting you to examine your statements, and evaluate their logic. because a couple don't make sense to me at all.... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Let’s say you have a crystal ball and it reveals that you will never be in a relationship. You won’t have sex or date either, or if you do it will be very rarely and it won’t be with anyone who has relationship potential. Could you be OK with that? How would you handle it? (This is aimed at people who desire a relationship.) At a young age, horrified. At this age, content. How would I handle it? By living a full and varied life and freely loving those of value to me. If none 'rise from the page' in the romantic sense, I'm good with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 Not necessarily lonely, but alone does mean that I won't have what I most desire. Most of us are built to love and share our lives with a partner, and without that something will be missing. If I had children, I think I could cope better with not having a relationship. Most people want a relationship, but not everyone gets one. For many people, coming home to an empty house is a reality. They still manage to be happy and lead productive lives. I have a friend who adopted in her late 30s, and then found love and marriage afterward (married this year, in her 40s). Even if she had not found the guy, she made a full life for herself by adopting children. Most of my single friends at least have a pet to come home to. Some live with family members. Single doesn't have to mean living alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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