irc333 Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 I was wondering, you always hear about someone having a "sexless marriage" but how often do you hear about a boyfriend and girlfriend having "sexless relationship"? I hardly ever do. Why is this? Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Sexless marriages don't start out that way; they start out sexful, but one or both people lose interest over time. They stay together for other reasons than sex, usually kids, finances, or simply because being married is more socially acceptable than being single. If you have a sexless relationship you break up. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 People who are dating post on LS about how they rarely have sex with their partners, often. Look at the cheating area, or the break up area. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 I was wondering, you always hear about someone having a "sexless marriage" but how often do you hear about a boyfriend and girlfriend having "sexless relationship"? I hardly ever do. Why is this? If you define sexless maarriges as say relationships where sex may be less than 3 times over a 2 month period.... Sexless can happen for other reasons such as stress from work, health reasons, etc. Besides the sex the other issue is how affectionate you are toward each other. Usually the sexless relationship happen when the couple started having kids. My theory as to why many relationships end of sexless.... There is generally an 18-36 month period where a couple is in that sex crazed relationship. After that it cools off. Its natural to do that when you start to get in routines and you are more comfortable with someone you fdont feel you need to show affection through sex...that you dont have that urge I have to do it today because there may be no tomorrow. After marrriage a common problem occurs...people change after marriage. They stop doing those things that made them attractive..thus attraction is lost...then sex is lost. Another issue...sometimes I do wonder if sex to early in relationship tends to drive the relationship where someone is interested in being in the relationship just to have sex rather than because of who their partner is. Thus after the sex gets bored in the marriage/relationship people discover who this person really is and they find out they arent who they thought. This sexless marraige usually then leads to divorce eventually because you have drifting apart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Isn't amazing how some females can keep up a facade such as that for three years? That is not limited to females, that's for sure. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 That is not limited to females, that's for sure. No kidding, At this point I'm scared I might forget how to do it in between sexual encounters. This girl in my class likes to get me to jump by sticking her fingers in my ear when she goes by. I'm so deprived I think it's starting to turn me on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 That is not limited to females, that's for sure. desire for a wedding is. Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 You are correct it isn't and didn't suggest it was. What is for sure is this. It is far more overwhelming with the female gender in these types of instances. Ok, now I have made a suggestion, a statement even. I'd be inclined to believe you, but that would be based on stereotypes. In my actual experience, in talking with many female friends, the overwhelming majority don't get enough sex from their husbands with some not getting any at all. desire for a wedding is. Ha! No, it's not. I have known many a fake-it-until-the-ring-is-on-the-finger guys, ranging everywhere from pretending to like sex to pretending to help around the house to pretending to want to hold down a job. They may not desire the actual wedding day as much as a woman, but they do desire the marriage enough to do a lot of acting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Yes I was in a 16 year relationship/marriage where his sex drive was usually low. I have known several other women whose husbands sex drive was low or non existant. It may have been a hormonal problem for a couple of the guys, or some type of childhood abuse. My neighbor (male) and his brothers were raped by their priest when they were kids, and therefore several of them (there were 7 boys in the family) shunned relationships later in life and were simply celibate. No telling the reason for a low sex drive in men sometimes. But it is out there, and you wouldn't necessarily know it unless someone spills the beans about it. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Ha! No, it's not. I have known many a fake-it-until-the-ring-is-on-the-finger guys, ranging everywhere from pretending to like sex to pretending to help around the house to pretending to want to hold down a job. They may not desire the actual wedding day as much as a woman, but they do desire the marriage enough to do a lot of acting. exception, not the rule. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted July 13, 2012 Author Share Posted July 13, 2012 NOW, that being said, with a few "Abstaining from sex before marriage" threads out there on LS, NOW abstaining from sex until marriage, doesn't seem like a bad idea!! LOL Yep. I know a guy that got married after a relationship of about three years. During their relationship they were getting it on anywhere, everywhere and anytime all the time. Oh, and how she loved getting it on in the mornings. The very night of the wedding on their honeymoon she refused sex exclaiming she was really tired as it had been a very long day. Wow! The same week she also told him that she never really liked having sex in the mornings and that she would prefer they forgo that activity from then out. The very week of his wedding on their honeymoon! Good times huh? He divorced her in less than a year and fortunately for him he didn't get her knocked up and had a very, very good attorney. Isn't amazing how some females can keep up a facade such as that for three years? Link to post Share on other sites
maybealone Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 exception, not the rule. Really? You don't know a lot of guys who helped out around the house and wined and dined their women significantly more often when they were dating vs. when they were married? That seems to be pretty much the norm around here. I don't mean to equate housework and dinners out with sex. Going back to the sex, I know lots of unsatisfied wives, and I really hope they are the exception and not the rule. But based on women I have known over the years, they are unfortunately not. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Sexless and sexually unsatisfied can be two different paths to the same place. In the former, no sexual intimacy occurs at all; in the latter, it does occur but not in a mutually satisfying and synergistic fashion. A typical example of the latter is the classic 'man gets his, rolls off and goes to sleep'. Sex occurred but the wife was left unsatisfied. I experienced the reverse in my M so understand this part only too well. Some people have no interest in being married or, if gay/lesbian, marriage may not be available to them, but they still can love their partners, desire their companionship, be tied together financially and choose to sacrifice sexual satisfaction and/or frequency at the altar of their relationship. Such a dynamic is not one I'll be visiting again anytime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Really? You don't know a lot of guys who helped out around the house and wined and dined their women significantly more often when they were dating vs. when they were married? That seems to be pretty much the norm around here. that has nothing to do with what we're talking about. we're talking about women misleading men all the way up to her wedding and baby just to get the wedding and the baby, then turning the availability of sex off to try to drive him away. that is a purely female phenomenon. Link to post Share on other sites
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