Freddys Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Hi people, part1 Was having a drink 2 weeks ago with some friends and suddently a hot young (very beautiful) lady joined our table. I had no idea who she was, but some of my friends knew her, as she is a famous "playette", (she just gets lot of attention from men, but she sleeps with nobody). We had a really good time that night and she was flirting me (a little). I liked her since the beginning. part2 So, some days later I met her again at another place, she asked me to join them and we had a really good time, It was obvious she liked me (a lot) and I started teasing her (a lot). She was asking to know "EVERYTHING" about me! Later on she says to me: "It's really early on to say this, but you seem like a really good guy to me" ... Night closed well, teased her in a playful way, (trying to bust her balls, she is a super hot lady). part3 Met her again, 2 days later, and managed to isolate her from her girlfriends, she was responding really well and after some minutes she says to me: "I was watching you since a month now, you caught my interest and I wanted to know everything about you! I know some of your hobbies, your family, where you live ..." Then she says "...I got hurt really bad in the past, from a man, and I don't want to get hurt once again, you seem like a really good guy to me" (!!!!) I was surprised (I didn't show her at all) to hearing all these, and how she trusted me (was just the 3rd time we met, and wasn't even a date). After 2 hours talking and full of teasing from my side (busting her balls, in a playfull way) I had to leave, and then she re-joined her friends. Conclusion How should I proceed now on, she is a very hot lady getting many attempts from men, but she got hurt really bad in the past, and seems like very hard to trust BUT she is willing to risk it with a guy that caught her interest, which is ME. Should I trust her words? OR it may be just another attempt from her side to have another guy chasing her?? She revealed too many details of what she is looking for ... although I am a really "fresh" guy in her life. My friends, say I should try a sexual movement the sooner with her, or else she will try to find another man (she was pretty straight forward that she likes me a lot!). I think I should not try to pressure her at all, BUT to gain her trust and at the same time seduce her. Don't know why, BUT, I think she may suddently turn like a 180 degrees, and get myself confusing. She opened to me so fast ...which is no good at all. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Well first off, is she in fact a very hot lady..I'm not quite sure If you made this clear! Jk, just busting your balls. She's basically telling you that she thinks you're a good guy and that you don't look like the type of guy that will just use her/be a jerk and intentionally use and hurt her. I'm not sure If she's just a hot piece of @ss or she's GF material to you and maybe more, at this point you're just too infatuated with her looks I'm not even sure If you're getting a gauge of how well you'd like to get to know her. Anyway If you were a jerk (or at least a jerk that knew what he was doing) you would have made advances and something would have happened at this point. However since you've met her a few times and there's only been some flirtation. At this point you should have gotten her number by now and tried to engage in at least personal one on one contact, just to get to know each other a bit more. I would say that's your next step, getting her number and arranging a date. I'm not sure If you're friends are giving the best advice with the sexual move, yes a woman will become attached IF you were to have sex with her at some point but that's definitely not your only option. A sexual move might make you look exactly like every other guy out there as well. Just be yourself, be genuine and try to get to know her...you don't have to try and act like a casanova or a player, she likes you based on how you've been so far and how you have presented yourself, so don't change it up....but DO make your intentions and interests clear by engaging her instead of just letting this ride out because she may replace you eventually. Don't panic...don't be scared...don't pretend to be somebody else...and don't be pessimistic and expect the worst, just do the work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freddys Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 Hey ninja, thanks for your advice. I already gotten her number, her email as well. Just trying to be a little of a challenge, isn't bad at all. I should be different in every way from the all other guys, so she trusts me and then things will take place. Do you believe all she said are trustworthy? Some of her words were: "I'm revealing too much infos to you, I shouldn't!" Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 You don't have to pretend or play games because you already have her interest, and that can very well cost you If you do. Most guys I see that do that end up losing out on the women they really want. Because It's an act, an act that women will eventually see through that and just make you look like a douchebag. Be confident and be genuine...by her words it seems like she's really trying to get close to you and trust you. Unless you're not telling me something extremely important I don't in any way how she is doing that just to lie to you but you know her demeanor better than I do, it just seems that you're being insecure because she's so hot and gets a lot of attention so you're trying to play it cool and maybe even worried you'll get burned and some other guy will sweep her up. You've already got your foot in the door but you're playing this like you're still trying to get her attention so you're afraid to make a move as to look too easy...I get that part of it but don't pussy foot around because you're worried, you've got to believe in yourself and make a move, win or lose..don't just over-think it and then do nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Seneca Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 (edited) You don't have to pretend or play games because you already have her interest, and that can very well cost you If you do. Most guys I see that do that end up losing out on the women they really want. Because It's an act, an act that women will eventually see through that and just make you look like a douchebag. Be confident and be genuine...by her words it seems like she's really trying to get close to you and trust you. Unless you're not telling me something extremely important I don't in any way how she is doing that just to lie to you but you know her demeanor better than I do, it just seems that you're being insecure because she's so hot and gets a lot of attention so you're trying to play it cool and maybe even worried you'll get burned and some other guy will sweep her up. You've already got your foot in the door but you're playing this like you're still trying to get her attention so you're afraid to make a move as to look too easy...I get that part of it but don't pussy foot around because you're worried, you've got to believe in yourself and make a move, win or lose..don't just over-think it and then do nothing. Ninja is right. Your foot is already in the door... And her telling you all those wonderful things is just bait to get you to chase her. If you want to be different from all the other guys. Then I would flip the script... ask her if she likes you so much why has she not asked you out yet? Tease her... by telling her it's okay, you are both adults, and she can come on out and ask you out on a date... Your call! Edited July 9, 2012 by Seneca Link to post Share on other sites
Leopard Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Seriously? A hot woman you like is practically throwing herself on you and you're asking what to do?!?! She can do so much better if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freddys Posted July 9, 2012 Author Share Posted July 9, 2012 Well, you guys are pretty clear that she is talking and expressing her true desires for me. BUT, I had some guys telling me the exact opposite, which I don't think is happening. They think she may be playing me along for another chase. (which I doubt). She got hurt really bad from her 1st guy ever, 2 years ago, and now she is protecting herself. There were many "players" guys hitting her but she was just playing them, testing them, but as far as I know they were pressuring her for sex stuff etc, so she left them ALL wanting some more of her... One good clue here, is she is the one to hit on me, out of the blue, so she is talking the truth for sure. Just, want to balance the trust with her with seducing her and moving things forward. P.S. Sorry to speak so many doudts for this clear situation, but I had enough of women "chasing" in the past, so I want to handle this with caution. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 IMO, caution is warranted, mainly in the realm of emotional investment. Why? "...I got hurt really bad in the past, from a man, and I don't want to get hurt once again, you seem like a really good guy to me" (!!!!) Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Come on, be honest - do you like her because she's a hot piece of ass that every other guy wants? Do you like her because you are flattered she flirted and chose you over the other dudes...? Or do you like her because you click so well and you genuinely would like to start a relationship with her (not just bang her for bragging rights)? Choose one. And think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Conclusion How should I proceed now on, she is a very hot lady getting many attempts from men, but she got hurt really bad in the past, and seems like very hard to trust BUT she is willing to risk it with a guy that caught her interest, which is ME. Should I trust her words? She revealed too many details of what she is looking for ... although I am a really "fresh" guy in her life. My friends, say I should try a sexual movement the sooner with her, or else she will try to find another man (she was pretty straight forward that she likes me a lot!). Don't know why, BUT, I think she may suddently turn like a 180 degrees, and get myself confusing. She opened to me so fast ...which is no good at all. Any ideas? IMO her behavior is unusual for a normal girl. She might be a bipolar or a borderliner (the borderline personality disorder). They do 'splitting' /'primitive idealizations' which is the way of thinking about other people either very good or very bad (no grey area). First, they are in love with you and you are the best person, then, they hate you and you are the worst person. So, your intuitions might be right about 180 degrees. But, It does not mean that you have to miss your chance to have sex with the girl. You are fortunate that you have the chance and it is a good idea to do whatever she wants (use your common sense) to get what you want (sex). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freddys Posted July 9, 2012 Author Share Posted July 9, 2012 Come on, be honest - do you like her because she's a hot piece of ass that every other guy wants? Do you like her because you are flattered she flirted and chose you over the other dudes...? Or do you like her because you click so well and you genuinely would like to start a relationship with her (not just bang her for bragging rights)? Choose one. And think about it. I like her cause she is "my type". Really sweet & kind girl. No smoking, she drinks beer, she always in style. Moreover, I never use women as a piece of ass, NO MATTER WHAT. Thinking for a relationship that early on, is a no-no. I know "nothing" about her. One great point: There is GREAT chemistry since the very first meeting. Got your answer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freddys Posted July 9, 2012 Author Share Posted July 9, 2012 IMO her behavior is unusual for a normal girl. She might be a bipolar or a borderliner (the borderline personality disorder). They do 'splitting' /'primitive idealizations' which is the way of thinking about other people either very good or very bad (no grey area). First, they are in love with you and you are the best person, then, they hate you and you are the worst person. So, your intuitions might be right about 180 degrees. But, It does not mean that you have to miss your chance to have sex with the girl. You are fortunate that you have the chance and it is a good idea to do whatever she wants (use your common sense) to get what you want (sex). Opsss, that bipolar issue, it may be...BUT it's early for me to say this. I believe that she is trying desperately to find someone she can trust so she opens her heart again. She was watching me for a month, even more (!!)... and probably she rejected some guys in the middle ...who knows. I know myself, I have nothing to do with the other guys ... I can be a nice "bad boy" ... Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 I like her cause she is "my type". Really sweet & kind girl. No smoking, she drinks beer, she always in style. Moreover, I never use women as a piece of ass, NO MATTER WHAT. Thinking for a relationship that early on, is a no-no. I know "nothing" about her. One great point: There is GREAT chemistry since the very first meeting. Got your answer? The question is... do you have your answer? You said it yourself, you know nothing about her. But yet she's told you her entire life story and all that she is looking for in a guy (regardless of whether you asked or not)... don't you think that kinda reeks desperation? It doesn't measure up that she's uber hot as you have described, to seem so insecure and revealed everything at one sitting. A girl who is sure about herself and what she wants, does not reveal everything at such short notice. She plays it cool and mysterious. To be so open and to constantly talk about how emotionally damaged she is... just seems like red flag to me. She may be hot, but its obvious she is insecure. Can you deal with drama in future? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freddys Posted July 9, 2012 Author Share Posted July 9, 2012 Just for the records: We already have the 1st flake. I called her, she rejected the call after 2 sec. The she texts me this (15 min later): " I'm busy at the office ", Another text from her (30 min later): " Come on, tell me, want you want me? " Me: " Today, is your lucky day ; ) " Her: " What you want? " Me: " Beer tonight @ [place's name], @ 22:00, don't be late : P " Her: " I can't, I have work to do tomorrow " And that's it. Quite dry all her responses...It's obvious she will play hard to get after revealing her interest for me. Should I wait now for her to reciprocate contact within the week? *Really "scares" me the idea of another flaky woman who enjoys chasing. Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Hi people, part1 Was having a drink 2 weeks ago with some friends and suddently a hot young (very beautiful) lady joined our table. I had no idea who she was, but some of my friends knew her, as she is a famous "playette", (she just gets lot of attention from men, but she sleeps with nobody). We had a really good time that night and she was flirting me (a little). I liked her since the beginning. part2 So, some days later I met her again at another place, she asked me to join them and we had a really good time, It was obvious she liked me (a lot) and I started teasing her (a lot). She was asking to know "EVERYTHING" about me! Later on she says to me: "It's really early on to say this, but you seem like a really good guy to me" ... That right there just killed it for you. She already got out the piece of paper with your death warrant on it. Are you ready to sign?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freddys Posted July 9, 2012 Author Share Posted July 9, 2012 That right there just killed it for you. She already got out the piece of paper with your death warrant on it. Are you ready to sign?? You must be kidding me right?? A really nice guy, doesn't mean a pussy - gay style little kid... Oh boy... Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 Just for the records: We already have the 1st flake. I called her, she rejected the call after 2 sec. The she texts me this (15 min later): " I'm busy at the office ", Another text from her (30 min later): " Come on, tell me, want you want me? " Me: " Today, is your lucky day ; ) " Her: " What you want? " Me: " Beer tonight @ [place's name], @ 22:00, don't be late : P " Her: " I can't, I have work to do tomorrow " And that's it. Quite dry all her responses...It's obvious she will play hard to get after revealing her interest for me. Should I wait now for her to reciprocate contact within the week? *Really "scares" me the idea of another flaky woman who enjoys chasing. I think you got great advice from some good LSers, ninja and carhill. I don't think that means flaking. It just sounds like she has a life. Don't ask her out over text though. Just text and say, that you want to talk on the phone. Maybe I'm just oldschool, I just think its childish to ask for a date through texting. Just let it go. Don't analyze her every move. Just go about your life like she is going about hers. You risk coming off as controlling. I would wait a couple of days and text again and see if she has some time to talk. When she does, ask her for a date on the phone. Something more formal too, IMHO. You text sounds like you're a buddy, not a romantic interest. You don't know her at all. Get in an environment where you can get to know her. Ask her to dinner at some place interesting. Don't tell her to not be late, pick her up. Come on son Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted July 9, 2012 Share Posted July 9, 2012 You must be kidding me right?? A really nice guy, doesn't mean a pussy - gay style little kid... Oh boy... Listen, man, I deal with women all the time. It took me until I hit 30 for me to finally grasp what they're really about and it ain't us! This dame you met just fed you nonsense that she thought you wanted to hear. She even lied to herself along the way. This makes her even more of a loser than most. None of this is your fault, however. If I were you, I'd drop her at this point. Or you can resume chasing her, because she already tossed out the bait, and it's still dangling by its tip. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Is it me... or are her replies SO UNCOUTH!! "What you want?"... Man, that's cringeworthy! Does she not speak proper English or is her native language something else??? I agree with Shaun. Drop her and save what's left of your ego. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Is it me... or are her replies SO UNCOUTH!! "What you want?"... Man, that's cringeworthy! Does she not speak proper English or is her native language something else??? I agree with Shaun. Drop her and save what's left of your ego. Yes it is you. She said she was busy in the office, the OP is lucky he got a response at all. Her boss could have been watching her for all you know! OP, TheFinalWord gave you very good advice along with Ninja. They are experienced men they know what they are talking about. Quit the boys' stuff, it's so lame. Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Yes it is you. She said she was busy in the office, the OP is lucky he got a response at all. Her boss could have been watching her for all you know! OP, TheFinalWord gave you very good advice along with Ninja. They are experienced men they know what they are talking about. Quit the boys' stuff, it's so lame. Very interesting that there are two sides to the coin. People can be aggressive with their opinions so let's see. I personally think it's a flake... and I'm very excited for the OP's update! By all means, OP, please take the 'experienced' advice... so we can know what the final outcome is Do update! Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Very interesting that there are two sides to the coin. People can be aggressive with their opinions so let's see. I personally think it's a flake... and I'm very excited for the OP's update! By all means, OP, please take the 'experienced' advice... so we can know what the final outcome is Do update! I'm sitting here at my computer with a hot pastrami Subway sandwich in wait of the details surrounding the OP's ordeal with this lost cause. Where are you hiding at, OP? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Freddys Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 I'm sitting here at my computer with a hot pastrami Subway sandwich in wait of the details surrounding the OP's ordeal with this lost cause. Where are you hiding at, OP? So here I am ; ), Update (v2): Even she flaked, saying that she can't make it last night, cause she had work to do today...A friend of mine saw her having a beer with her close friend .... So, now you can consider yourself a winner, eat a double pastrami Subway So, this is end of "story" (that early on) ? Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun-Dro Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 So here I am ; ), Update (v2): Even she flaked, saying that she can't make it last night, cause she had work to do today...A friend of mine saw her having a beer with her close friend .... So, now you can consider yourself a winner, eat a double pastrami Subway So, this is end of "story" (that early on) ? Thanks for the update, but my next question to you is what you're going to do about that? Are you going to call her out on this or simpley let it go and find something more constructive to do with the rest of the summer? Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 If it was me I wouldn't be studdin' her at all. I'd still be smiling. And it annoys me when women tell me, "I've been hurt by guys or another guy," I don't care. I don't wanna hear about that other stuff. I've been hurt and stuff too but I'm not gonna come off and mention that right away. But hey you live and learn right? Hope all goes well. Link to post Share on other sites
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