I admit, I was using him...and I got burnt

[kookybunny]

Just a lesson to people: Be MINDFUL of what kind of space you are in mentally and emotionally before you put yourself out there for dating!

 

A year and a half ago, I was on sick leave from a job I hated, had just started anti depressant treatments and was living out of my car and crashing on friends' couches. I was also lonely and horny.

 

I saw online dating as the perfect place to cast a net to find someone to fill the needs I had.

 

I have model-like beauty, a great personality, funny and very sexual. I am an excellent writer and my profile had great pictures and an intriguing write up. I got swamped with replies.

 

I went through and only replied to men who could fulfill my needs for financial security, loneliness or sexual desire.

 

It was an interesting ride. I also signed up for sugar daddy dating and milked those guys too. It was lucrative, but I did get burned a few times...long story.

 

I ended up meeting a guy on pof who seemed able to fulfill all the things I desired and there was an air of desperation to him that made me feel like it would be easy. He wasn't well off financially, but he had a house he stayed in for free with lots of storage- that was very enticing to me at the time!

 

I ended up getting sucked into his mind games and falling for him. It was THE ABSOLUTE WORST "relationship" I have EVER EXPERIENCED in my life.

 

He was very messed up mentally and emotionally.

 

It turns out he was using me too: to get over his ex AS WELL as to make her jealous. She was incredibly unstable as well and, get this, HIS "BEST FRIEND". What a nightmare!!! It was this dilemma that drove me to loveshack in the first place, I have many posts under 'coping' and 'cheating and jealousy' if you search terms like 'my boyfriend is best freinds with his ex' (I have a different user account now- too much baggage! I wonder if any of the regulars recognize me! hmm..)

 

Anyway, I should have known how little I meant to him and that he was using me, but the red flags also served as proof (to my mind at the time) of the opposite: He asked me to be his girlfriend after our first date and started parading me out with his friends (including his ex) and even introduced me to his parents. I thought it meant I was special. ........ ...LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!111

 

I have been complete NC with this assclown since I called it off. Here it is a year and a half later, I am happy, healthy successful and with the man of my dreams... but that dumb ass, his ex and harem of unattractive and hostile girl "friends" is haunting me lately. I am STILL feeling so much anger and resentment. Also disgust, with him and myself.

 

Moral of the story is- don't seek to find something you need in someone else. Until you resolve your own issues and go into a relationship WHOLE and well, you will only hurt yourself and others.

 

Also, NEVER EVER EVER date a man who is close friends with girls (no exceptions) or who associates with his exes!

 

I hope this helps someone.

 

-bb

[mortensorchid]

That took a turn, didn't it? Ah well, it's another one of life's crazy little lessons, isn't it?

[joystickd]

Karma caught up with you.

[kookybunny]

PS: This should also be a lesson for online daters- Things aren't always what they seem! I actually feel online dating is a breeding ground for hurt and needy or cynical people.

[Woggle]

You were using him so you shouldn't be too mad. Chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.

[thatone]

PS: This should also be a lesson for online daters- Things aren't always what they seem! I actually feel online dating is a breeding ground for hurt and needy or cynical people.

 

yep, pretty much.

 

especially for men, the odds are so not in their favor on the dating sites. if they are on there, there's gonna be something wrong. at the very least, they don't have enough time for a relationship anyways. more likely, there are other more serious issues.

[Radu]

Just a lesson to people: Be MINDFUL of what kind of space you are in mentally and emotionally before you put yourself out there for dating!

 

A year and a half ago, I was on sick leave from a job I hated, had just started anti depressant treatments and was living out of my car and crashing on friends' couches. I was also lonely and horny.

 

I saw online dating as the perfect place to cast a net to find someone to fill the needs I had.

 

I have model-like beauty, a great personality, funny and very sexual. I am an excellent writer and my profile had great pictures and an intriguing write up. I got swamped with replies.

 

I went through and only replied to men who could fulfill my needs for financial security, loneliness or sexual desire.

 

It was an interesting ride. I also signed up for sugar daddy dating and milked those guys too. It was lucrative, but I did get burned a few times...long story.

 

I ended up meeting a guy on pof who seemed able to fulfill all the things I desired and there was an air of desperation to him that made me feel like it would be easy. He wasn't well off financially, but he had a house he stayed in for free with lots of storage- that was very enticing to me at the time!

 

I ended up getting sucked into his mind games and falling for him. It was THE ABSOLUTE WORST "relationship" I have EVER EXPERIENCED in my life.

 

He was very messed up mentally and emotionally.

 

It turns out he was using me too: to get over his ex AS WELL as to make her jealous. She was incredibly unstable as well and, get this, HIS "BEST FRIEND". What a nightmare!!! It was this dilemma that drove me to loveshack in the first place, I have many posts under 'coping' and 'cheating and jealousy' if you search terms like 'my boyfriend is best freinds with his ex' (I have a different user account now- too much baggage! I wonder if any of the regulars recognize me! hmm..)

 

Anyway, I should have known how little I meant to him and that he was using me, but the red flags also served as proof (to my mind at the time) of the opposite: He asked me to be his girlfriend after our first date and started parading me out with his friends (including his ex) and even introduced me to his parents. I thought it meant I was special. ........ ...LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!111

 

I have been complete NC with this assclown since I called it off. Here it is a year and a half later, I am happy, healthy successful and with the man of my dreams... but that dumb ass, his ex and harem of unattractive and hostile girl "friends" is haunting me lately. I am STILL feeling so much anger and resentment. Also disgust, with him and myself.

 

Moral of the story is- don't seek to find something you need in someone else. Until you resolve your own issues and go into a relationship WHOLE and well, you will only hurt yourself and others.

 

Also, NEVER EVER EVER date a man who is close friends with girls (no exceptions) or who associates with his exes!

 

I hope this helps someone.

 

-bb

 

1- you got what was coming to you, you were outplayed

2- you needed him more than he needed you, and he abused that power [lesson]

3- fix yourself first, than date; not the other way around

4- a man who has too many female friends is suspicious just like a woman who has too many male friends

5- a woman who gives relationship/sex for money is a woman who practices the oldest profession in the world

 

I have to say, i am a bit curious about your current bf.

 

You say you took a lesson with this former guy, to not look at a relationship to fix you, yet you still have feelings for the ex [hatred is an emotion].

And does he know what you just wrote in this thread ?

 

I have a feeling, you will make another username in the near future, for a 'new start'.

[yongyong]

I hope your current guy realizes 'you can never turn a hoe into a housewife'

[Algermas]

Kudos to the guy, I too enjoy outplaying simple women.

[amantis]

karma's a bitch

Funny story !!

[Pierre]

PS: This should also be a lesson for online daters- Things aren't always what they seem! I actually feel online dating is a breeding ground for hurt and needy or cynical people.

 

But, but, but---------------that is why you went there.

 

You are one of those people.

[kookybunny]

I hope your current guy realizes 'you can never turn a hoe into a housewife'

 

Who the hell wants to be a ****ing housewife?? It's 2012, baby! My guy and I don't want kids and we are hiring 'help' for the house. LOL

[kookybunny]

1- you got what was coming to you, you were outplayed

2- you needed him more than he needed you, and he abused that power [lesson]

3- fix yourself first, than date; not the other way around

4- a man who has too many female friends is suspicious just like a woman who has too many male friends

5- a woman who gives relationship/sex for money is a woman who practices the oldest profession in the world

 

I have to say, i am a bit curious about your current bf.

 

You say you took a lesson with this former guy, to not look at a relationship to fix you, yet you still have feelings for the ex [hatred is an emotion].

And does he know what you just wrote in this thread ?

 

I have a feeling, you will make another username in the near future, for a 'new start'.

 

Totally hear you on this. But when it comes to point number 5, you need to grow up. The oldest profession in the world WOULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT CUSTOMERS.

 

It's two consenting adults agreeing to use each other. Not very romantic, but not one's fault and not the other.

 

Law of attraction never fails. I went out looking for someone to use and I got used in return. Lesson learned.

[CarboniteCammy]

OP- are you for real? You have model like looks and you're trying to say that the only way you could find fufillment was through sugar daddies on an online website? Seriously?

 

Maybe you aren't as hot as you think? Not sure. Not trying to pop your bubble, but your story just doesn't jive with me, unless you like prostitution. Most people with "model like" good looks are sucessful in life in general, per the statistics I've read, and probalby wouldn't necessarily need to prostitute themselves.

 

Also, online dating sucks (true) but I did meet my husband on a free online dating site, so it doesn't always end badly. He's a great guy and honestly he's my best friend.

 

As for not dating a guy with female friends- again, seriously? Do you know any dudes who don't have chicks as friends? I don't. My best friend is a guy, in fact. My husband's best friend was a girl- they don't talk much now, because their lives are in different places, but they still do keep in contact. I think if a guy isn't able to maintain a platonic relationship with a female, whether it's a sister or a mother or just a friend, that maybe they have a problem with how they view women.

 

Just my opinion, but I LIKE it when a guy can see a girl for something other then a sexual object, and appreciate her for the friendship she has to offer.