wildfire7698 Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 I think my love interest has an alcohol problem. It's affecting our relationship now as well...not sure what to do. He made a comment to me about pouring himself a drink before and after he goes to work. I am not sure if its just a drink, I really think that its more. He even drinks in the morning. He's unhappy and really seems depressed about his job, he absolutely hates it. He works long shifts and longs to find something better but the job market is bad around here so he's kinda stuck where he is. He seems to be stuck in such a rut. It's really messing up our relationship, he and I are taking things slow meaning we aren't too serious yet. He barely has time to see me. We have gone a month without seeing eachother before. He says that all he does is sleep and work. I have asked him if he wanted to end "what relationship we have". He swears up and down that it's not me but his job that keeps him away like that. His voice got a little chocked and I could tell that (well I think) by the look in his eyes that he was not lying, that I am not getting a lame excuse. I gave him a chance to walk and he insisted we stay the way we are. He's scared of starting a serious relationship again, his last g/f of 3 yrs cheated on him. I think he has had issues since, but this has been over a yr ago, butI guess there is no time limit on how long it takes us all to heal. It's hard on me, cause I am the girl who comes after the drama. So I get all the "being too scared to committ" stuff. His drinking I think though, is the problem behind most of it. I think that is why I am not the priority I feel like I ought to be in his life. I feel like he drinks because he hates his job and now drinks to be able to work thru the day there. By the time he gets home, I guess he drinks because he is tense from being there. He barely even eats, the boy is only about 155 pounds at the most and is about 5'10, so he's pretty thin. I don't know what to do, I really like him. I think that he could be someone to have a future with, but how can that be if he can't take that step and see me more often. Like I said, I have given him a chance to get out, and he declined so I don't think its a case of him not feeling the relationship, I just think his depression and the alcohol has a bigger hold on him. How do I deal with this? I don't want to give up on him...but I get so frustrated at times. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 If you don't feel comfortable talking to him about it, contact Alanon to pick up some literature on talking to him about it. Eventually you'll have to confront this--alcoholism is a disease, it never goes away, and it's characterized by the deterioration of relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 wildfire7698 are you my ex? no no seriously though, he mightn't be an alcoholic at all, alanon is for people much worse off i find in my country anyway although it would do no harm to contact them anyway the fact that he works so hard says to me he isn't YET quite an alcoholic, his drinking just like his work maybe as you say is just that he is stuck in a rut 155 pounds at the most and is about 5'10 well that is perfectly healthy by the way, more of the population should be like this! i was a good bit leaner than him for many years being a similiar height while being an athlete if you really like him work on it to help him and your relationship, don't run away! good luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
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