Hard time letting go...

[ddlovexx]

Personally, I have a really really hard time letting go/moving on.

 

I got my heart broken a year ago, I've been over him for quite some time now and recently started dating again and going out... every guy turns out to be a jerk yet I have a hard time moving on. My problem is that I tend to see people for better than they are, I really want to believe people are good and have good intentions but they usually don't.

Most of the guys I've seen have been okay to me, a few haven't been good to me at all... and now I've got a great guy interested in me and I can't even feel anything because I'm too hung up on the ones who are no longer in my life. It hurts and I hate it.

 

I saw this guy for about a month and he kinda just stopped talking to me out of nowhere. We're both adults, I don't think it's too much to ask to be straightforward. I asked him if he was still interested and his response was "Yeah, I am, my summer is just busy. I'm sorry." (Which is kinda BS by the way). He said he wanted to see me, we set a day, and then he never hit me up to hang out.

 

We started to get pretty close for a while, we hung out every weekend and an occasional weekday for a little over a month. He seemed like he really liked me and used to talk to me every day. We have a lot in common and would laugh a lot, we'd bond over music and we definitely had chemistry. I don't really think it was cool that he just stopped talking to me. What bothers me is that he kept saying he was interested and wanted to hang out, and then would blow me off. Why play games? I'd rather him just say his feelings changed or whatever- it'd be easier for me to move on. I need to hear the words.

So now he basically doesn't talk to me at all, occasionally he'll even ignore a few of my texts. Last night I had a few beers and after not talking to him for almost two weeks I sent him a text: "I know you probably don't care, but I miss you and I think it's pretty lame the way this all went down. You knew I really liked you." He asked me to come over and hang out at that point. First of all, I was out and second of all, he didn't even acknowledge anything I said and at that point did he really even want to hang? Why did I have to say something for him to invite me? This morning I apologized for the text (even though I shouldn't have) and told him that it's okay if his feelings changed, but that he left me very confused. He didn't respond which, again, really bothers me. I haven't even done anything.

 

He's 30 ****ing years old, I wish he'd act like it. It's not right, to get close to someone for a month and continue to tell them that you're interested and want to see them and then just start ignoring them.

 

I'm pretty good at the no contact rule, as I said I've barely talked to him since he stopped talking to me, and I finally mustered up the courage today and deleted his number. He knows I have feelings for him and he's just ignoring me and being an ass... it won't kill you to talk and be honest with me.

 

I know for a fact I've been getting over him (slowly but surely) because it's getting easier, but occasionally I'll have a night like last night and backtrack and really miss how things used to be. There's this part of me that can't stop thinking about him even though it's been almost a month since we've even seen each other. I don't allow people to walk all over me either or treat me badly, I'm walking away but my heart still has a hard time letting go. I go out and spend time with other people but he creeps into my mind a lot of the time. He's being an inconsiderate jerk for no real reason and I can't stop thinking about him.

 

I feel lead on and used and as much as I miss him, I want answers more than anything. I'm pissed. Why the games? I really want to just send him a fb message regarding the fact that he keeps ****ing ignoring me, because it's not cool. I don't want to lose my dignity in this but I almost feel disrespected right now... but I don't know if it'd make a difference.

 

I hate it, why can't I just move the heck on!? I know the no-contact will make it easier but does anyone have any other tips?

Edited June 11, 2012 by ddlovexx

[Ninjainpajamas]

You know, it can be extremely difficult letting someone go you feel like you've have a profound moment/experience with..even if it was short.

 

It's actually one of my weaknesses, I am not the kind of guy that doesn't connect on an emotional level easily, for me that's actually something very imporant and usually means a lot to me even If minor.

 

However with that being said, I've been this guy before...you get so close to someone then you just decide to pull away. Things just build up quickly and at some point you realize that things are going to have to become a little more serious, maybe even much more...It's sort of time to cash in that check and you've built up quite an amount already. So instead of go through with it, It's easier to walk away and avoid it, because at least for me the fear of commitment and trust was too much to bear....making it to a degree personal yet impersonal at the same time because like most people, their issues are within themselves not other people...other people are just merely the victims of it, the people that suffer the consequences.

 

In your situation I can tell this guy is stringing you along and only half invested, and I can tell he never really saw long term potential just wanted to enjoy the moment with you...but he doesn't seem to respect you and value your emotins either....not to tell you what is really going on and how he really feels about it, but probably beacuse it's not good.

 

So realize that even though you felt some profound emotions and experiences his heart wasn't in it and still is not...he checked out along the road emotinally far earlier than you did..so in a way you built up a fantasy and romance on your own...he was only there for your loving, companionship and because it was exciting. Value yourself more than that, don't let this man take more from you than you did from him, have some self talk and remind yourself that your heart got the best of you, and that you deserve better than taht and If he was really interested in you he'd still be there....don't just hang on to him and hope he comes around beacuse when men do that they're just settling and only giving you half of their hearts.

 

Time will help you, just keep your distance and don't give in...because everytime you are weak it's an opportunity to use you, not for this to progress...men decide and determine this far before and early in the relationship if you will....this man never had good intentions, he may have seemed like a nice guy and a good guy and genuine, but it was a facade, because the real person and how he feels is now.

 

Express your emotions, talk to someone you can trust and will listen, and just try and keep your mind clear and straight and not let your emotions stoop you to vulnerable and desperate levels...give yourself time and self talk.

[LoverOfDance]

I know how you feel. Moving on is the hardest thing in the world. I'm in a similar situation right now. Just trying to let you know that you're not the only one cause I know that knowing I'm not the only one going through this definitely helps me a lot and keeps me strong. Hang in there. You'll get through this. I know it:)

[mortensorchid]

I am saddened to hear this story. If it makes you feel any better, there are some who will never be mature and are, therefore, bad people. Once I was with someone a few years ago for about six weeks, and then he blew me off after a twenty second conversation on the phone. I showed him what discipline I had, I NEVER contacted him again vice versa.

 

If he does nothing but annoy you, I'd just move on. Why would you want to be with someone who does nothing but make you angry or upset?

[Solo34]

Personally, I have a really really hard time letting go/moving on.

 

I got my heart broken a year ago, I've been over him for quite some time now and recently started dating again and going out... every guy turns out to be a jerk yet I have a hard time moving on. My problem is that I tend to see people for better than they are, I really want to believe people are good and have good intentions but they usually don't.

Most of the guys I've seen have been okay to me, a few haven't been good to me at all... and now I've got a great guy interested in me and I can't even feel anything because I'm too hung up on the ones who are no longer in my life. It hurts and I hate it.

 

I saw this guy for about a month and he kinda just stopped talking to me out of nowhere. We're both adults, I don't think it's too much to ask to be straightforward. I asked him if he was still interested and his response was "Yeah, I am, my summer is just busy. I'm sorry." (Which is kinda BS by the way). He said he wanted to see me, we set a day, and then he never hit me up to hang out.

 

We started to get pretty close for a while, we hung out every weekend and an occasional weekday for a little over a month. He seemed like he really liked me and used to talk to me every day. We have a lot in common and would laugh a lot, we'd bond over music and we definitely had chemistry. I don't really think it was cool that he just stopped talking to me. What bothers me is that he kept saying he was interested and wanted to hang out, and then would blow me off. Why play games? I'd rather him just say his feelings changed or whatever- it'd be easier for me to move on. I need to hear the words.

So now he basically doesn't talk to me at all, occasionally he'll even ignore a few of my texts. Last night I had a few beers and after not talking to him for almost two weeks I sent him a text: "I know you probably don't care, but I miss you and I think it's pretty lame the way this all went down. You knew I really liked you." He asked me to come over and hang out at that point. First of all, I was out and second of all, he didn't even acknowledge anything I said and at that point did he really even want to hang? Why did I have to say something for him to invite me? This morning I apologized for the text (even though I shouldn't have) and told him that it's okay if his feelings changed, but that he left me very confused. He didn't respond which, again, really bothers me. I haven't even done anything.

 

He's 30 ****ing years old, I wish he'd act like it. It's not right, to get close to someone for a month and continue to tell them that you're interested and want to see them and then just start ignoring them.

 

I'm pretty good at the no contact rule, as I said I've barely talked to him since he stopped talking to me, and I finally mustered up the courage today and deleted his number. He knows I have feelings for him and he's just ignoring me and being an ass... it won't kill you to talk and be honest with me.

 

I know for a fact I've been getting over him (slowly but surely) because it's getting easier, but occasionally I'll have a night like last night and backtrack and really miss how things used to be. There's this part of me that can't stop thinking about him even though it's been almost a month since we've even seen each other. I don't allow people to walk all over me either or treat me badly, I'm walking away but my heart still has a hard time letting go. I go out and spend time with other people but he creeps into my mind a lot of the time. He's being an inconsiderate jerk for no real reason and I can't stop thinking about him.

 

I feel lead on and used and as much as I miss him, I want answers more than anything. I'm pissed. Why the games? I really want to just send him a fb message regarding the fact that he keeps ****ing ignoring me, because it's not cool. I don't want to lose my dignity in this but I almost feel disrespected right now... but I don't know if it'd make a difference.

 

I hate it, why can't I just move the heck on!? I know the no-contact will make it easier but does anyone have any other tips?

 

Sounds like we should pair this guy up with the girl that I met at College. We were spending time, and she ended up flaking out on me. You're not alone...just don't even bother with this douchebag anymore.

 

Get out before you end up doing something as dumb as I did...