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Men: How often do you contact a woman you just started seeing?


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Old 24th April 2012, 10:07 PM   #1
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Men: How often do you contact a woman you just started seeing?

Just curious. In the past, I've mostly been in long-term relationships with guys I knew for a while, so by the time we started dating, most of them called me every day.

I'm now dating people I don't know that well up front. Some of them call almost every day, and some more like 2-3 times a week.

Just wondering how often you contact a woman you're just getting to know, and whether this varies depending upon how much you like her.
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Old 24th April 2012, 10:17 PM   #2
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It does vary quite a bit.
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Old 24th April 2012, 10:23 PM   #3
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The real question is: how often do women contact men they just started seeing?

There are many guys on LS alone who complain the chick they are seeing initiates little to no contact. Last year, I started making sure to tell every chick I get to know that she needs to initiate contact with me or I take it as a lack of interest and move on. My recent girlfriend I told her point blank, "If I initiate contact, you gotta reciprocate the same amount. If I call you 7 times a week, I expect around 7 calls from you back. Communication is key to me. I look for a woman who understands this. If she can't we're not compatible."
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Old 24th April 2012, 10:33 PM   #4
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Ruby it depends on the man. I try to gauge the womans interest and go from there. It's hard to judge a non initiatir as yourself, all due respect of course. Being that you don't initiate the men will probably err on the side of caution. I kept steady LIGHT contact with the last one. Usually every other day with a back to back sometimes and a 3 day gap once.
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Old 24th April 2012, 11:03 PM   #5
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I totally understand your point.

But Women are not logical creatures when it comes to dating.

If you say such things, that shows you are very into her, you are not confident enough, you are needy, you are jealous etc

How about telling them 'don't play games with me' when they are obviously playing games with you? It tells them you just lost the game.

I wish I can go over the rules with them, sign it together and get notarized




Quote:
Originally Posted by Oxy Moronovich View Post
The real question is: how often do women contact men they just started seeing?

There are many guys on LS alone who complain the chick they are seeing initiates little to no contact. Last year, I started making sure to tell every chick I get to know that she needs to initiate contact with me or I take it as a lack of interest and move on. My recent girlfriend I told her point blank, "If I initiate contact, you gotta reciprocate the same amount. If I call you 7 times a week, I expect around 7 calls from you back. Communication is key to me. I look for a woman who understands this. If she can't we're not compatible."
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Old 24th April 2012, 11:07 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yongyong View Post
I totally understand your point.

But Women are not logical creatures when it comes to dating.

If you say such things, that shows you are very into her, you are not confident enough, you are needy, you are jealous etc

How about telling them 'don't play games with me' when they are obviously playing games with you? It tells them you just lost the game.

I wish I can go over the rules with them, sign it together and get notarized
I guess I was not confident enough, needy, jealous, etc. Guess what? She's dating me. How about that?

Women are not logical creatures period. Asking a woman to initiate an equal amount of contact is asking little. Like I said, if a woman has a problem with me wanting this then we're not compatible. There are plenty of women like my current GF who are understanding enough to go along with my preferences. I don't want women spineless women who hate initiating.
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Old 24th April 2012, 11:45 PM   #7
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if i'm really into her, and she welcomes my contact, i have no problem ringing her daily. if i feel her pulling away (eg, not really getting back to me), i can't say that it won't diminish my interest to some extent.
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Old 25th April 2012, 12:03 AM   #8
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Well there are women you can talk that way. I am sure she was very attracted to you from the beginning.

I was just saying you should assume their interest level by how they get in touch with you. you can't ask them for straight answer or tell them what to do.

I prefer talking directly like you but from my experience and watching how people communicate, I don't think it's the right way especially for beginning stage.




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Originally Posted by Oxy Moronovich View Post
I guess I was not confident enough, needy, jealous, etc. Guess what? She's dating me. How about that?

Women are not logical creatures period. Asking a woman to initiate an equal amount of contact is asking little. Like I said, if a woman has a problem with me wanting this then we're not compatible. There are plenty of women like my current GF who are understanding enough to go along with my preferences. I don't want women spineless women who hate initiating.
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Old 25th April 2012, 12:06 AM   #9
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OK, good to know. I'm not one of these people who needs "mystery" to amplify my interest, and I prefer it when the guy contacts me every day. And yeah, he has no doubt that I'm happy to hear from him when he does.

There's one guy who's been calling me almost every day, and I feel fonder of him than the others - because I know more about his daily life and what's on his mind, and he's making it clear he cares about what's going on in my life, too.

The one who takes longer to call, I feel like the connection is kinda dropped during the days I don't talk to him, and I feel a little colder toward him when he does.
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Old 25th April 2012, 1:49 AM   #10
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Used to be a lot. These days not at all other than to ask for the next date. More contact once exclusive.
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Old 25th April 2012, 2:15 AM   #11
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If a man is truly interested in getting to know us, girls. They should have the urge to contact us everyday. I love to hear from them everyday, but if they don't, I would assume they are not really into me or not really interested in getting to know me more. I will find it odd if they are not exerting effort to know what I am up to in my daily life. I will start to lose power and interest.
But then again, men are really different to each one,
some guys are not really into calling and texting every day and some are.
Some prefer to talk more in person or when you are out together but will stay speechless when you are not together.
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Old 25th April 2012, 2:18 AM   #12
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Last gal I tried to date, I told upfront that I was looking for communication and no games. I call you, you call me back. I email. You email back. The most I could get out of her was a text, when I called. No response at all to an email, post first date, giving her my real email address.
She told me we needed to reschedule our second date, by text. Texted a response to my call to set up another time. It was all unacceptable and far too vague. I need more communication than that, if only out of respect. She got dropped from my efforts.
I don't believe in games when it comes to talking to someone. If I want to call, I will. However, early on, I try to save most conversation face to face.

Last edited by persevere; 25th April 2012 at 2:32 AM..
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Old 25th April 2012, 7:23 AM   #13
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I've been seeing someone who I've been dating for around three months, and we probably talk two times a week or so on the phone. However, we see one another every weekend, and sometimes during the week. It sounds cynical (well, it IS cynical) but I used to call girls every day, but then I got into a long relationship with someone who eventually cheated on me. So now I treat everyone differently.

Anyway, a couple of times a week is fine. I hope this works out for you!
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Old 25th April 2012, 7:38 AM   #14
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When I first start dating someone, I call her to ask her on dates. That's it. The only purpose of contacting her is to schedule when I will see her in person. We get to know each other by dating.

Once we start dating regularly, communication naturally increases. I've never counted phone calls or kept track of who initiated (or didn't initiate) contact. And if I get any indication that she's keeping track, then the red flags start flapping.
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Old 25th April 2012, 11:32 AM   #15
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Well, the guy who calls me most every day certainly doesn't seem any "needier" than any of the others. In fact, he strikes me as very laid-back and cool. But he's the one who tells me at day's end to have sweet dreams and a great day tomorrow - so he's the one more on my mind.
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