garycoleman Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I'm dating this girl right now and I like her more as I get to know her. In the beginning I was not physically attracted to her. She is not ugly or fat but just not my type in terms of looks. However I liked her personality and she is a caring person so I continued dating her. Now I find her physically attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Jasra Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Can't say this has happened to me. I've always found the women I've been with attractive when I met them, that's usually what initially hooks me. However, getting to know them kicks it up plenty of notches. So I suppose the same can be true if you weren't at first physically attracted, and now you are because you know her. Link to post Share on other sites
Little Blue Bird Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I've experienced this before. Intially I was unattracted to someone I went on a date with but he made me laugh so we continued dating for a while and the more I got to know him, the more attractive he became, we ended up having a two year relationship. However, I also since dated someone for a while who I liked as a person but didn't find attractive and didn't not develop further feelings for even though I gave it some time to see if anything developed. So yes, it is possible for someone to appear more attractive over time. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Yep, definitely. In fact, the ones that have meant more have generally started this way as things have built up slow. It's been a case of instead of a huge roaring fire of passion, that burns out quickly, it's been a slow steady fire that has kept me warm for much longer. I think it's a case of as you aren't initially pulled in by their looks, you allow yourself time to be with them without seeing them as a sex object, you see them as friend and become part of their lives over time. In many ways, you see the inner beauty (which we all have) which in turn makes them more attractive on the outside. I know my last ex was like this - she was attractive, but I wasn't attracted to her. We became good friends and things progressed from there, slowly over a few months. Suddenly this girl was everything to me and I saw her in such a way that I truly believed she was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen - odd considering I didn't feel that way before. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 In my opinion way too much importance is given to initial attraction. In social psychology it has been proved that people generally like things and people they have seen a lot of times. "The more I see you the more I love you" holds scientific ground. The focus on instant chemistry is what makes online dating so frustrating. As a woma I find that men are extremely shallow in this. They have decided that you are "out" after 5 seconds. Maybe women do the same but I don't date women. For me there are 3 categories of men when it comes to their looks: - not attractive: those I don't want to see again - attractive but I don't feel sparks. If they seem to have a good character, I want to see them again. - immediately attractive: rarely happens. Whether I will date them again will still depend on their character. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 It's happened to me. I'll meet a chick, not find her all that attractive, and then feel attractive to her later on. It happens for a variety of reasons. But it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
wwwjd Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Yes. It is called GROWING. See my thread on that. This idea is being bred out Link to post Share on other sites
brokenTom Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Almost all the girls I've fallen in love with I didn't find attractive initially. Most of the girls I've found attractive initially I end up not finding attractive over time. Kinda weird, I know... I guess I'm just not as won-over by looks as some, or I find their voice and personality more influential to their attractiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 In my opinion way too much importance is given to initial attraction. In social psychology it has been proved that people generally like things and people they have seen a lot of times. "The more I see you the more I love you" holds scientific ground. The focus on instant chemistry is what makes online dating so frustrating. As a woma I find that men are extremely shallow in this. They have decided that you are "out" after 5 seconds. Maybe women do the same but I don't date women. For me there are 3 categories of men when it comes to their looks: - not attractive: those I don't want to see again - attractive but I don't feel sparks. If they seem to have a good character, I want to see them again. - immediately attractive: rarely happens. Whether I will date them again will still depend on their character. LOL. You're complaining about too much importance being put on initial attraction and men being shallow but those are YOUR standards? Sacrebleu! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
insertnamehere Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Especially when I was younger, a lot of my relationships evolved out of proximity. That said, even from the first time we met, I never judged any of those women unattractive or even neutral. Although in my case, that's not saying a lot, because I find a large majority of women attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author garycoleman Posted April 13, 2012 Author Share Posted April 13, 2012 In my opinion way too much importance is given to initial attraction. In social psychology it has been proved that people generally like things and people they have seen a lot of times. "The more I see you the more I love you" holds scientific ground. The focus on instant chemistry is what makes online dating so frustrating. As a woma I find that men are extremely shallow in this. They have decided that you are "out" after 5 seconds. Maybe women do the same but I don't date women. For me there are 3 categories of men when it comes to their looks: - not attractive: those I don't want to see again - attractive but I don't feel sparks. If they seem to have a good character, I want to see them again. - immediately attractive: rarely happens. Whether I will date them again will still depend on their character. lol what? . Link to post Share on other sites
Necromancer Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Yes, it happens but not often. Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I actually consider this a good thing. You are liking this person the more you get to know them...which for me would be very exciting. Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 That question reminds me I know a woman who is my neighbor literally next door and lately I've been feeling a slight bit of attraction towards her and find myself trying to get to know and meet her but she doesn't seem very interested which is completely okay. Normally I've been feeling absolutely zero attraction, not to be mean or superficial or anything but I just didn't find her physically appealing: she's extremely skinny (while skinny can be attractive she is a tad bit too skinny and possesses no "figure" (hips, butt, breasts, etc.)), her hair is also thin and she has it in a sort of "wet" hairstyle (I love hair but that's not really my type), her head also seems unusually large one of the biggest heads I've seen in particular the cranium forehead region just seems massive, I also can't find her face particularly attractive its hard to describe but just something about it doesn't seem right. Her personality isn't all that attractive either she doesn't come off as nice but she isn't mean either it is also a bit strange its hard to describe but she just behaves "differently" and more withdrawn than most girls and social skill seems a bit lower than average. Link to post Share on other sites
jnd Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I at first really didn't think my boyfriend was attractive (when we first met). As I got to know him though and his personality, 5 months later we began dating and have been together for 7 years. I know he's not the most attractive, but I've realized it's not all about looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Has anyone here ever became attracted to someone you thought were extremely unattractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil1 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Necris, I'm currently being pursued HARD by a man I think is very unattractive physically, but he is extremely charismatic and his determined pursuit is starting to win me over;) I've decided to give him a chance and go on an actual date with him this weekend. I know I'll have a blast with him cause he's a fun person but I don't know if that will be enough for me to get past the lack of physical chemistry. He's got two things going on for him physically: a very deep sexy manly voice and gorgeous blue eyes but other than that he's just not very attractive:o Link to post Share on other sites
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