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Crap...Kissed a friend of 15 years!


HeartOnSleeve

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HeartOnSleeve

...And need to tell him it's not good timing! Our mutual friend kind of "inception'ed" us and so we decided to go out one night. His friends got a little drunk and got on the "you guys would be great bandwagon" and we just laughed it off. But when he walked me home, he grabbed my arm and said "you know they're right" and I went into full on panic mode and finally shut up and then it happened. He kissed me. It was a good kiss and felt nice, but after I just felt like....after 15 years of friendship now is not good timing for me to be with him. He deserves someone that is 100% open to the idea of a relationship. Right now...that is not me! I want to focus on myself...my training, my business and getting over "Special Ops", and not to mention i'm still seeing "Guy A" and enjoying his sparatic company. Funny thing about that too. Guy A asked to be exclusive and I said NO....I shocked myself.

 

So now I have to figure out a good way to tell my friend without losing my friendship that it just not good timing for me. I have life to deal with and I'm not sure I have room for that kind of love right now. Couldn't he have just waited until August...hehee :o:(

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You're making excuses. After 15 years, I'm sure he'd be willing to go at whatever pace you felt comfortable. If he only needed to wait it out until August, then you should be able to tough it out, otherwise you're just making an excuse not to do it. That is fine too, but you should be able to be honest.

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HeartOnSleeve

I just realized that I can't juggle everything and now is just not good for me to be committed to someone. He leaves in August so I think he wanted things to progress more quickly than I do. Again not good timing.

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Professor X
Our mutual friend kind of "inception'ed" us

 

I object.

 

Only a kiss within a kiss is inception.

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Ninjainpajamas

Just tell him what you're going through and how you're still carrying emotions from a past relationship as well as still seeing someone in the moment and that you wouldn't want to jeopardize the friendship you've had together, especially with everything going on right now...you're not in a good place.

 

If he's a real friend and really likes you then he'll understand, If not he'll just blow you off and expect you to drop everything for him...but let's face it, this guy was probably into you the whole 15 years, he just barely had the guts now, so It's his fault for not pursuing you earlier anyway and just playing the friend card (whether you think It was intentional or not and thought he just woke up one day liking you or didn't like you in the beginning is irrelevant) so there is a reason these situations eventually occur, it's not by "chance".

 

Otherwise you jeopardize continuing on emotionally damaged and attached and that's not best for the long-term with someone, especially someone you knew for 15 years. But you've also got to get your head on straight or you're just going to keep jumping from love interest to love interest, and you're not really giving anyone everything, just bits and pieces of you because you're all fragmented into different people.

 

However If you were serious about that then you'd cut all these guys off completely and focus on yourself, but from my experience that's not a choice women commonly make when they have "options" hanging about.

 

Because there's always that "chance" but imo you're just burning all your prospects that you might have had a successful relationship with, buuut, that's life.

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LOL, I read that as you kissed someone that's 15 years old.

 

Sorry, nothing to add, except at least you won't be contacted by law enforcement.

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