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Why do older guys go for the much younger girl?


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Old 27th March 2012, 6:30 PM   #1
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Why do older guys go for the much younger girl?

I just started recently on the dating sites. What I am finding the most frustrating is the guys on there who are my age (38) wont even have a look at me - they all want the 20yr olds. BTW I dont look my age in the least bit - I could pass for late 20's early 30's. On that note too - I get like 50yr old & 60yr old men messaging me!!! Really!! Why would I want to go out with someone who could be my father? Its just so frustrating - what goes through your guys minds? Do you really think you have a chance? I am in in no way looking for a sugar daddy - I just want to meet someone close to my age (I would entertain 6-7 years older or younger than me) I just wanted some insight as I am new to the online dating world after being recently divorced after 17yrs of marriage.
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Old 27th March 2012, 6:33 PM   #2
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Old 27th March 2012, 6:34 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blindesided View Post
I just started recently on the dating sites. What I am finding the most frustrating is the guys on there who are my age (38) wont even have a look at me - they all want the 20yr olds. BTW I dont look my age in the least bit - I could pass for late 20's early 30's. On that note too - I get like 50yr old & 60yr old men messaging me!!! Really!! Why would I want to go out with someone who could be my father? Its just so frustrating - what goes through your guys minds? Do you really think you have a chance? I am in in no way looking for a sugar daddy - I just want to meet someone close to my age (I would entertain 6-7 years older or younger than me) I just wanted some insight as I am new to the online dating world after being recently divorced after 17yrs of marriage.
I'm almost 30 and have found the same thing. Guys that are 37 or younger are looking for 20-35 or even 18-24(gross). To be honest these guys are not looking for a serious relationship and are not mature enough for you anyway. So let them dream on.
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Old 27th March 2012, 6:43 PM   #4
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I'm almost 30 and have found the same thing. Guys that are 37 or younger are looking for 20-35 or even 18-24(gross). To be honest these guys are not looking for a serious relationship and are not mature enough for you anyway. So let them dream on.
I know 18-14 oh I mean 24 but whats the difference I think I just vomited. They are all just children... not sexy
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Old 27th March 2012, 7:04 PM   #5
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The system allows them to pre-select based on age and a number of other arbitrary factors.

If you consider the suggestion from scientists that youth=fertile=healthy babies, then the odds do seem stacked against older females.

However, dating can be considered a numbers game. With each dating experience, you're trying to get closer to someone that can meet your relationship goals. And online dating actually provides more opportunities for older women (and everyone else) because it gives them another channel to meet someone. The more channels you have (time and motivation willing), the more you increase your probability of meeting someone.

You just have to keep getting back on the horse. If you decide that online dating is not for you, that's okay. There are other offline opportunities. It's a big world out there.
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Old 27th March 2012, 7:09 PM   #6
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Lie about your age.
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Old 27th March 2012, 7:24 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blindesided View Post
I just started recently on the dating sites. What I am finding the most frustrating is the guys on there who are my age (38) wont even have a look at me - they all want the 20yr olds. BTW I dont look my age in the least bit - I could pass for late 20's early 30's. On that note too - I get like 50yr old & 60yr old men messaging me!!! Really!! Why would I want to go out with someone who could be my father? Its just so frustrating - what goes through your guys minds? Do you really think you have a chance? I am in in no way looking for a sugar daddy - I just want to meet someone close to my age (I would entertain 6-7 years older or younger than me) I just wanted some insight as I am new to the online dating world after being recently divorced after 17yrs of marriage.
you're not going to find a relationship on a dating site in all likelihood.

all of those guys are just looking for a booty call or 3. all those other women are 40 to 50 pounds heavier than their pics and want to BE those guys' booty call.
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Old 27th March 2012, 7:25 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blindesided View Post
I just started recently on the dating sites. What I am finding the most frustrating is the guys on there who are my age (38) wont even have a look at me - they all want the 20yr olds. BTW I dont look my age in the least bit - I could pass for late 20's early 30's. On that note too - I get like 50yr old & 60yr old men messaging me!!! Really!! Why would I want to go out with someone who could be my father? Its just so frustrating - what goes through your guys minds? Do you really think you have a chance? I am in in no way looking for a sugar daddy - I just want to meet someone close to my age (I would entertain 6-7 years older or younger than me) I just wanted some insight as I am new to the online dating world after being recently divorced after 17yrs of marriage.
It's always going to be that way, so deal with it. I'm 33 and mostly prefer younger women from 21-27. I did try a woman over 30 a few times, but they have chips on their shoulders and take things too seriously. And then there's the older women in their 40s who are just looking for any kind of attention they can get, which is pretty pathetic.

Just be glad you're getting some kind of approach from older men. I'm sure back when you were in your teens and late 20s, older guys in their upper 20s and 30s were trying to get some. That's how we survived as a specie throughout evolution, not the other way around. Now quit whining!
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Old 27th March 2012, 7:27 PM   #9
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Same reason we check prices on brand new cars before resorting to a purchase from the used lot...
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Old 27th March 2012, 7:34 PM   #10
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How the hell do you know for sure that vast majority of men in their 30s and early 40s are writing to women in their early 20s. Likely its predominately women in their 30s but just not late 30s.
I cant say for sure whats going through the minds of 50yr old & 60yr old men, but I am sure the desire for sexier women is still there, and 38 is sexier than 58. What's the advice we see on LS often...no one is out of your league, so go for it.

Last edited by ascendotum; 27th March 2012 at 7:39 PM..
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Old 27th March 2012, 8:01 PM   #11
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If it's a preference, it's a preference, if it's a requirement, those men are doing you a favor by allowing you to screen them out for superficiality.

It's not all fertility and beauty, some not all. Women start seeking older men in HS, continue in college, and out in the working world. It's hard for a 23 y.o. straight out of college to compete in criteria many women find important, with a more established 30 y.o. man, all other things being equal. So men have a certain portion of the preference dictated to them by female preference. I got shot out of the saddle a whole bunch by 30-35 y.o. guys when I was in my early 20s, but the older college women thought I was just fine. Men learn, and once we have learned, we go with what works.
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Old 27th March 2012, 8:05 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blindesided View Post
I just started recently on the dating sites. What I am finding the most frustrating is the guys on there who are my age (38) wont even have a look at me - they all want the 20yr olds. BTW I dont look my age in the least bit - I could pass for late 20's early 30's. On that note too - I get like 50yr old & 60yr old men messaging me!!! Really!! Why would I want to go out with someone who could be my father? Its just so frustrating - what goes through your guys minds? Do you really think you have a chance? I am in in no way looking for a sugar daddy - I just want to meet someone close to my age (I would entertain 6-7 years older or younger than me) I just wanted some insight as I am new to the online dating world after being recently divorced after 17yrs of marriage.
Welcome to my world. I only recently got used to loving 36, and now I get to go up another number, and become a little more invisible.
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Old 27th March 2012, 8:05 PM   #13
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Where did you get the idea that ALL guys your age want 20-somethings?
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Old 27th March 2012, 8:06 PM   #14
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I've noticed this too, only with weight. I've got a few dozen extra pounds but I've encountered several on dating sites who have at least an extra few hundred.

What's my solution, OP?

I don't know. Unfortunately dating is a buyer's market and the men are the buyers - because we've been socialized that way, and frankly because women outnumber men. Not surprisingly, men are probably more likely to end up happier with the dating bargain than women are with men.

You will probably have to do some flex work and go for the 50-year-olds (and that's not much of an age difference from where you are). It also means trying harder and messaging guys in your age group. This may mean pursuing guys who have kids or who are roughly in your life stage regardless of age. Really look into the profiles. Are these guys responsible for themselves?

I would even consider DUMPING your age from your profile if you could and see if that helps. I'm not saying be dishonest or keep it a secret forever, but maybe let the cat out of the bag after the second or third conversation. If it gets you that far, then obviously they're just hung up on a number. And you never know - you may find that your age just isn't that big of a deal after they get to know how great you are.
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Old 27th March 2012, 8:08 PM   #15
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We are guys and young 20 somethings make us feel....well....young and all goo goo like.
What dude doesn't like a 20 something in the bed or his arm at the diner?

I'm 37 and my absolute limit in how young I'd date is 28. At his point I'll take grandma out for a boot kickin good time....... and a movie though
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