musemaj11 Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 It is a fact that in general, by comparison women are more interested in quality while men are more interested in quantity. A woman is more than content to have only one man as long as she is perceiving him as having more to offer than her. Someone she and her future offspring can gain from. A man who is more educated, more intelligent, of higher status, wealthier, taller, and stronger. Studies after studies reveal that no matter how successful a woman is, she will still desire a man who is even more successful than she is. This is something that is hardwired. On the other hand, in comparison to women, men are a lot more indifferent toward quality. As long as the woman is not way too far below his own attributes, a man does not care because men were taught to not rely on anyone in the first place, so they are not seeking a woman whom he can gain from. However, men make up for their indifference toward quality with desire for variety. Men just can't help but wanting to taste all sorts of women. Young, old, black, white, skinny, chunky, flat, busty, nice, bitchy, and so forth. In my opinion, both preferences are motivated by similar selfish desires. However, according to my observation, preference for quantity tends to be looked upon more negatively than preference toward quality. A man who prefers to not commit to one woman and keep his options open is seen with a much worse reputation than a woman who prefers to be with a man who has a better job and education than she does. Of course once again there are exceptions. But inarguably this is the prevalent occurrence out there. Link to post Share on other sites
maylis Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 It is a fact that in general, by comparison women are more interested in quality while men are more interested in quantity. A woman is more than content to have only one man as long as she is perceiving him as having more to offer than her. Someone she and her future offspring can gain from. A man who is more educated, more intelligent, of higher status, wealthier, taller, and stronger. Studies after studies reveal that no matter how successful a woman is, she will still desire a man who is even more successful than she is. This is something that is hardwired. On the other hand, in comparison to women, men are a lot more indifferent toward quality. As long as the woman is not way too far below his own attributes, a man does not care because men were taught to not rely on anyone in the first place, so they are not seeking a woman whom he can gain from. However, men make up for their indifference toward quality with desire for variety. Men just can't help but wanting to taste all sorts of women. Young, old, black, white, skinny, chunky, flat, busty, nice, bitchy, and so forth. In my opinion, both preferences are motivated by similar selfish desires. However, according to my observation, preference for quantity tends to be looked upon more negatively than preference toward quality. A man who prefers to not commit to one woman and keep his options open is seen with a much worse reputation than a woman who prefers to be with a man who has a better job and education than she does. Of course once again there are exceptions. But inarguably this is the prevalent occurrence out there. I think if people are honest about their intentions upfront with people and it is understood and agreed upon then I don't see it as being wrong. It starts to become wrong because a lot of people are not upfront about things right away. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Naw dude, I want quantity. I want to **** a large quantity of attractive women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 "It is a fact" that for some folks, this is a moot question, since they have neither. No quality partner, and not even the quantity of a single one. "Inarguably." 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I don't see anything wrong with a guy choosing to enjoy a variety of women assuming that he is honest with all of them. As Mme Chaucer said, though, if a guy has trouble keeping ONE woman, I have sincere doubt that he will be able to find several women all willing to share him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Not even "keeping" one woman. Having anything at all to do with a woman, on any level. Ever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Why else do you think Maxim has its top 10 list of most studly men? OTOH there are no women's mags that have a "best lay I've ever had" section. Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 It is a fact that in general, by comparison women are more interested in quality while men are more interested in quantity. A woman is more than content to have only one man as long as she is perceiving him as having more to offer than her. Someone she and her future offspring can gain from. A man who is more educated, more intelligent, of higher status, wealthier, taller, and stronger. Studies after studies reveal that no matter how successful a woman is, she will still desire a man who is even more successful than she is. This is something that is hardwired. Unless a guy is amazing in every single aspect, lets say he has tons of money, looks like a stud and can give some amazing orgasms to her woman, it's not a sure thing that women will be content with only him and even then, it cannot satisfy some...And let's face it, how many men can fit this criteria? very very few... A good number of my girl friends who cheated told me they did it cause they needed more attention than their men could give them and they wanted to know they are desired by a lot of men or enjoy a variety of men. I think deep inside, women would love to have a variety of sexy men. However, they are deadly afraid of the labels they might get (slut, whore, etc), a lot of us develop a complex because of that. Why do you think these labels exist in the first place? To make women feel bad/ashamed for their normal innate desires. I think it's way more about society wanting to pretend women are some loyal nonsexual creatures than it is about women actually being like that. Link to post Share on other sites
LZ2000 Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 A good number of my girl friends who cheated told me they did it cause they needed more attention than their men could give them and they wanted to know they are desired by a lot of men or enjoy a variety of men. I think deep inside, women would love to have a variety of sexy men. However, they are deadly afraid of the labels they might get (slut, whore, etc), a lot of us develop a complex because of that. Why do you think these labels exist in the first place? To make women feel bad/ashamed for their normal innate desires. I think it's way more about society wanting to pretend women are some loyal nonsexual creatures than it is about women actually being like that. I'm totally fine with that really. We're all human in the end. Erm,I mean i am totally fine with women enjoying a variety of sexy men. It's only fair isn't it ? It just hurts when the lady isn't upfront about it. Or even honest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 Not even "keeping" one woman. Having anything at all to do with a woman, on any level. Ever. But I'm quantity! Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) Can you please point me to these 'studies after studies?' I'd bet money that you haven't read a single one of them. Mostly because you fail to understand that evolutionary psychologists study THEORIES and not 'proven fact.' Therefore, they give multiple possible explanations for the same behaviors and, considering that the entire field is still in its infancy, they haven't had time to prove jack. Edited March 3, 2012 by Janesays 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I think any preferences are fine, as long as you're honest about them and don't cheat. I know some couples who have open relationships. But honestly, every open relationship I know of has some weird issues. (Maybe all relationships do.) For example, I know a guy who always has a girlfriend, and invites other women into bed with them from time to time. He asked me, and I said no. His girlfriends are always pretty but insecure and needy. Very few women will be OK with their man sleeping with other women, and I guess insecure women are in that minority. This guy doesn't seem happy, and neither do his girlfriends. He has this cloud of darkness about him. In the other couple I know of, the woman makes a lot of money and is far more accomplished than her guy, who basically does odd jobs and pampers her. They are both free to date and have sex with others, and they do. No surprise that the woman's outside partners are all more assertive and masculine than her husband. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatDudeXO Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 I would take one quality woman over quantity but I know it's hard to find that quality of woman, so for now quantity will keep me happy Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I think your whole premise is deeply, deeply flawed. I'll answer the actual question in a moment. However, several caveats: Studies do not say what you think they say, none of this is 'hardwired,' and I disagree with the whole premise that women prefer quality and men prefer quantity. Most men I know definitely understand the importance of 'quality' in a mate, and even with hookups, they seek specific types of quality (i.e. someone they want to hook up with), though obviously those qualities are of a different type. Nor do I think all women or even most women these days are automatically happy to be monogamous with any man of relative 'quality.' I have met many men and women who are more monogamous and many who struggle with monogamy; I think seeing that as a gender trait in this day and age is absurd. However, FWIW, I don't care what people want for themselves. There is nothing 'wrong' with preferring more hookups and not seeking a monogamous relationship. There is something wrong with being in a monogamous relationship if that's not what you want, of course, so I think everyone should do what is right for them. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Personally I have no problem with people getting together in either way. The only thing that really bugs me is when people don't "match their baggage" relationally. For instance: if you have been sampling "quantity" for five years, I don't believe that you should expect much higher standards for a gf. You should find someone who understands and has reformed from that lifestyle. I also believe the same thing about relative ages. If you are 45 and have slept with half the planet, going out with 19 year old who has had maybe two bfs before you is damned innapropriate and creepy. Especially when people start dragging kids into the scenario. I.e. 17 year old kid has 23 year old stepMom. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Despite the machinations and social conditioning of Femerica characterizing such as pigs, players and womanizers, there is nothing inherently wrong with someone who wants a quantity of attractive sex partners in their lives. However, someone who has a certain level of variety and quantity of sexual opportunities in their lives, but still finds that somehow it's never enough, and continues to escalate promiscuous behaviors, self-medicating some personality problem, or simply gluttonous, has issues that draw their suitability as a relationship partner into question more often than not. This is why the supposed feminist created double standard between promiscuous males and females is illusory. Only a tiny percentage of men have the quantity of sexual opportunities available with attractive partners that average and even below average women do. Only a tiny percentage of men can be sexually gluttonous to the extent women can. So the average promiscuous woman is a riskier relationship bet than the average promiscuous man. Male celebrities, the wealthy, model looking men are judged on the same criteria as women for escalating promiscuity that approaches addiction or disordered compulsive, impulsive behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
setsenia Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 How about a man who wants quality AND quantity? My dad told me about his 4-5 dates last week with different women and how slim and educated they were. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 How about a man who wants quality AND quantity? My dad told me about his 4-5 dates last week with different women and how slim and educated they were. :sick: Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 How about a man who wants quality AND quantity? My dad told me about his 4-5 dates last week with different women and how slim and educated they were. Sounds like your Dad is doing something right. One difference in male and female experience is that for men, when it rains it pours, when things are going well with women, it tends to come in spurts, with more attention than we can handle. This is because we are in top form, good shape, successful, getting out and meeting, creating more opportunities for ourselves, and also because women seem to find "taken" men and competing with other women for men appealing. Other times we have long, long dry spells, where for whatever reason, work pressures, stress, we can't seem to get anything going with any women. IME with female friends, they generally have a more consistent expression of interest from, and opportunities with men. A large part of a man's ability to attract women is in an aura, an attitude, that many simplify as "confidence." When this aura is working, and a man has options, women sense it, and start popping up everywhere expressing interest. This leads to having too much female attention, then later, on a downswing, too little. Very few women are willing to understand this facet of male experience, and how it makes seeking and obtaining sexual interest very different for men than women. Do women go through peaks and dry spells? Sure, but the fact that a woman's ability to attract men is less dependent on that "aura of options," that "confidence," "attitude," makes the difference between the genders in this respect pronounced. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Sounds like your Dad is doing something right. Do women go through peaks and dry spells? Sure, but the fact that a woman's ability to attract men is less dependent on that "aura of options," that "confidence," "attitude," makes the difference between the genders in this respect pronounced. It might be less dependednt but it's still dependent...We all go through dry spells and peaks for different reasons. For me my dry spells were due to "not putting myself out there", "shyness/lack of confidence", "not taking care of my appearance" etc..You guys underestimate how a shy/ less confident woman can have huge problems in the dating scene. But then again, men seem to think we are hit on 24/7, whereas the reality is too far from it. Maybe girls who are 10/10 are, I don't know. This is certainly not the case with most women I know. Just check out the threads from women here who are complaining about not getting hit on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author musemaj11 Posted March 5, 2012 Author Share Posted March 5, 2012 Can you please point me to these 'studies after studies?' I'd bet money that you haven't read a single one of them. Mostly because you fail to understand that evolutionary psychologists study THEORIES and not 'proven fact.' Therefore, they give multiple possible explanations for the same behaviors and, considering that the entire field is still in its infancy, they haven't had time to prove jack. What-women-really-want-to-marry-a-rich-man Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 What-women-really-want-to-marry-a-rich-man That represents "studies after studies" to you?? Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 That's not a study. The guy who wrote that is a social journalist, not a scientist. Is there one or two quotes in there from some dr? Sure. But who was this dr? What was their field of study? Was there an actual study involved or is this just the drs opinion? Were the quotes taken in context? You don't know because you didnt read the actual study. You read an internet fluff piece and now you're silly enough to think you're an expert. I slug through this research for a living. You have NO IDEA what you're talking about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mesmerized Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 That represents "studies after studies" to you?? hahahha, totally. Not only that, why does the fact that "women want to marry a rich man" means women are content with having sex with only one man as long as he is rich??? Link to post Share on other sites
silvermercy Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 (edited) No, women are not "hardwired" to look for quality and vice versa. I work in a related field and ONE thing we learn is to take any scientific studies that deal with psycho-evolution with a huge grain of salt. In the end, it's just how men and women were brought up. Also, I'm sure you'll find lots of women looking for quantity - while supposedly looking for quality. (Of course they never find it). And that article is not exactly a study. That sounds like a Dr's opinion for their own research. The ones that are to be taken seriously are the peer-reviewed kind of studies which are usually meta-analytical. Even the latter face huge problems by people against them in the same field. I deal with research papers as part of my daily work to recognize what constitutes a real study. Edited March 5, 2012 by silvermercy Link to post Share on other sites
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