LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

guys who have slept around can be the most loyal of all


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree35Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 27th February 2012, 2:59 PM   #211
Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 7,287
Quote:
Originally Posted by danny in van View Post
Hi, this is not a question, but me putting forth a much needed perspective. Many will like to assume that a guy with high #s of girls in his past will be more likely to cheat in a relationship. I say that's a lazy cliche, and it's spread around by 'beta' guys to discredit the guy who is popular with girls. Once I hit my 30s I found the greatest girl and was with her and completely loyal for 7 yrs. She left me cuz I was her first guy and she had to 'spread her wings' (she was 19 when we met).
So here's my point: BECAUSE my curiosity and appetite were previously satisfied (20s were very hedonistic, guilt free, and prolific) I was happily monogomous with her. Ladies, beware the 'nice guy' who try to personify loyalty. Because most guys I know haven't come close to fulfilling their 'bucket list' (sorry for crudeness, but ya know what I mean) so they WILL orWANT to if they could ever get away with it!
I see beautiful girls when in a relationship, but I don't have to 'have them' because I've experienced that. So I'm loyal as a swan- assuming the girl I'm with has her act together, and is fit, cute, fun, uncomplicated, normal, litehearted, kind etc.
Comments?
So if she lacks these qualities you won't be loyal?

Here is what I see from the party animal guys who are now married and working with me. THEY ARE BORED. My buddy Dave was insanely popular with women. He is married with 3 kids now... and spends at least 3 days a month in a strip club.

Look, it's just human nature. Guys with low numbers like 1 or 2 are always going to be tempted to try something different. I'm sure women are the same. Guys with high numbers like 30 or 40... are going to really struggle to give up that lifestyle.
Untouchable_Fire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 3:11 PM   #212
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Untouchable_Fire View Post
So if she lacks these qualities you won't be loyal?

Here is what I see from the party animal guys who are now married and working with me. THEY ARE BORED. My buddy Dave was insanely popular with women. He is married with 3 kids now... and spends at least 3 days a month in a strip club.

Look, it's just human nature. Guys with low numbers like 1 or 2 are always going to be tempted to try something different. I'm sure women are the same. Guys with high numbers like 30 or 40... are going to really struggle to give up that lifestyle.
well I'm not guessing here- I have successfully given up that lifestyle - for 7 yrs once- for 4 yrs once. It wasn't hard because I knew I was with a great girl. And I knew because I've had many comparison points. And yes my loyalty will fade and I wouldn't commit in the first place if the girl is not living a dynamic, energetic life and is fit and cute. Do I think a girl will or should stay with me if I take up drugs, lose my job, get fat ? Hell no!!!
danny in van is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 3:14 PM   #213
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mme. Chaucer View Post
Well, I just visited this thread after reading your other one. I have a couple of comments.

1) I certainly CAN understand the mind of a man, if I know him well enough. I think I have a very deep understanding with how my husband's mind works, for example. He would back me on that. I don't believe that all men's minds work alike. Certainly, "male" and "female" sexuality exist, but how one acts upon their sexuality varies greatly between individuals.

2) A guy who has slept around can be loyal. I don't think YOU are loyal, though, so it's odd that you decided to start this thread,

3) Evo Psyche as practiced by people who want to justify whatever is not even worth bothering with.
you can't know for sure if your husband is feeding you what you want to hear- or not. Sorry. Confessions from tortured prisoners are thrown out in courts- why? Cuz it's understood they said what their captor wanted to hear to avoid further punishment. Concept is parallel and same. Sucks to hear this I'm sure...
danny in van is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 3:21 PM   #214
Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 7,287
Quote:
Originally Posted by danny in van View Post
well I'm not guessing here- I have successfully given up that lifestyle - for 7 yrs once- for 4 yrs once. It wasn't hard because I knew I was with a great girl. And I knew because I've had many comparison points. And yes my loyalty will fade and I wouldn't commit in the first place if the girl is not living a dynamic, energetic life and is fit and cute. Do I think a girl will or should stay with me if I take up drugs, lose my job, get fat ? Hell no!!!
Seriously? Dynamic, fit, cute, energetic.... wait until she is taking care of your kids.

Honestly, the stress of children and marriage is pretty intense. You feel like a pressure cooker ready to blow... your wife is tired as hell and you havn't seen her in makeup for 5 months. She spends her time chasing the kids around... doesn't have time for the gym... ect. Then some pretty little thing at work comes along.

I know this sounds far fetched to you... but I see guys like you go through this every day.
Untouchable_Fire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 3:51 PM   #215
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: I come from the land of the ice and snow where the midnight sun and the hot springs glow. Not really. Oregon.
Posts: 9,528
Quote:
Originally Posted by danny in van View Post
you can't know for sure if your husband is feeding you what you want to hear- or not. Sorry. Confessions from tortured prisoners are thrown out in courts- why? Cuz it's understood they said what their captor wanted to hear to avoid further punishment. Concept is parallel and same. Sucks to hear this I'm sure...
Yes, it is kind of disheartening to be faced with such an ignorant and jaded perspective on such a lovely morning.

Some day, you might experience a very strong, loving, mutually supportive, communicative, fun, understanding relationship. Unless that day ever comes for you, I see how you can't begin to wrap your mind around the concept of what that would be like.
Mme. Chaucer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 3:51 PM   #216
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breals View Post
I have a feeling OP never wants to get married or have kids. He is a Playboy or Bachelor and dates younger women. He doesn't seem to want the domestic life with kids. Nothing wrong with that; I detest the "married with kids" life myself.
no I would like that - but only if the relationship is right and tight and strong etc.
Surely from all my thoughts rooted in evo psychology you'd assume that I too want to create an 'heir' to my throne?
And if my girl were raising children or pregnant I'm not so insensitive to recognize that that is a huge exception and 'normal' routines go out the window.
But my 'type' is the momma that gets her shape back after. Few can do that (involves intense discipline of course) but that is what I have and what I admire.
danny in van is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 3:53 PM   #217
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: I come from the land of the ice and snow where the midnight sun and the hot springs glow. Not really. Oregon.
Posts: 9,528
Quote:
Originally Posted by danny in van View Post
Few can do that (involves intense discipline of course) but that is what I have and what I admire.
Wait didn't you just make it very clear on your other thread that you don't have a girlfriend? Now you have one?
Mme. Chaucer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 4:04 PM   #218
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: I come from the land of the ice and snow where the midnight sun and the hot springs glow. Not really. Oregon.
Posts: 9,528
Are guys who sleep around in a van more loyal than guys who sleep around in motels and bedrooms?
Mme. Chaucer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 4:09 PM   #219
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mme. Chaucer View Post
Yes, it is kind of disheartening to be faced with such an ignorant and jaded perspective on such a lovely morning.

Some day, you might experience a very strong, loving, mutually supportive, communicative, fun, understanding relationship. Unless that day ever comes for you, I see how you can't begin to wrap your mind around the concept of what that would be like.
I must say it again - logically your husband must say he only thinks of you. Why would he admit otherwise? What does he have to gain by brutal honesty? What does he have to lose? Alot. I`m not saying he cheats. But only a large ego mixed with typical insecurity would let someone think a man doesn't have fantasies about other women.
danny in van is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 4:42 PM   #220
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: I come from the land of the ice and snow where the midnight sun and the hot springs glow. Not really. Oregon.
Posts: 9,528
I don't ask him whether he thinks only of me, so "logically" he must not say any such thing. He's free to think about whatever he likes. I'm not threatened if he has sexual thoughts about another woman, that's his business.

I know who I'm married to, though. He is not a man who is comparing me to some fantasy ideal he harbors. Both of us know that we are very fortunate to have one another and he benefits greatly in many ways from the relationship, as do I. We're grateful and try to express it in the way we live.
Mme. Chaucer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 5:48 PM   #221
Member
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 7,287
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mme. Chaucer View Post
Are guys who sleep around in a van more loyal than guys who sleep around in motels and bedrooms?
Sleeping around in Vans? Isn't that a bit child molesterish?
Untouchable_Fire is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 5:56 PM   #222
Established Member
 
dreamingoftigers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 9,156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breals View Post
It obviously stands for VANcouver.

VANCOUVER.
Seconded,

Most Canadians know this.

Like calling Toronto "T O."

Or Calgary "Cow Town."

I'm surprised Regina hasn't come up with a nickname yet.
I've only noticed that it smells like it sounds.
__________________
I don't ask you to walk a mile in my shoes. I DARE you to drive a mile in my car.
dreamingoftigers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 6:01 PM   #223
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Untouchable_Fire View Post
Sleeping around in Vans? Isn't that a bit child molesterish?
haha the personal attacks are becoming even more desperate. I guess that's what you do when you have no more credible points to make. Go look up argumentum ad hominem - 2000 yrs ago there were people smarter than you (!) as they saw and pointed out how the dim witted use personal attacks when logic and smarts have failed them.
danny in van is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 6:07 PM   #224
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: I come from the land of the ice and snow where the midnight sun and the hot springs glow. Not really. Oregon.
Posts: 9,528
Quote:
Originally Posted by danny in van View Post
haha the personal attacks are becoming even more desperate. I guess that's what you do when you have no more credible points to make. Go look up argumentum ad hominem - 2000 yrs ago there were people smarter than you (!) as they saw and pointed out how the dim witted use personal attacks when logic and smarts have failed them.
Oh, you mean like the way you just used "dim witted" (it's not the first time, either)? Great example of how the dim witted use personal attacks. Very clever.

Okay, Van Man, I am sure there is no more point in carrying on with you. Bye.
Mme. Chaucer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27th February 2012, 10:33 PM   #225
Established Member
 
lino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,384
Don't know about them being loyal. Most guys who have slept around a lot like that habit. I do know that guys who sleep around a lot are the types that are most desired by women.
__________________
U.C Sampdoria I'm crazy only for you

R. I. P Vujadin Boskov
lino is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Is she loyal? or am I just thinking to much? Regularguy05 Dating 35 2nd September 2009 10:49 PM
Is He Loyal? Loyalty?? Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 0 5th November 2005 10:22 PM
Should I tell my boyfriend I slept in another guys bed last night? ButterlfyKisses Dating 13 7th November 2004 4:36 AM
Slept with 2 guys that are best friends.... what do I do now??? lovemytsx Breaks and Breaking Up 1 7th August 2004 2:46 AM
I just can't be loyal scm82 Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 6 19th March 2004 9:11 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:13 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.