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Dating a beautiful Muslim girl...


Desensitized

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Desensitized

I've started going to a medically-related program at a university, and I met this girl from Iraq. She is absolutely stunning, and I have taken her out on dates. We've gotten to know each other well, and we click so well. The only problem is, that today is the last time i will see her until a few months from now. I won't see her until May, most likely. She's so interesting, and she sparks my intrigue like no other. Call it a crush if you will, but the way she looks at me, it's intoxicating.

 

I want her so bad, i feel sort of silly saying this haha. She has made it clear that she wants to go on another date, and I am happy! Only problem is, that won't be for a very long time. I told her that relationships distract me a lot, and that school comes first. She agreed with that, and she agreed that school is equally as important to her. So, what to do? Also, I've thought about the consequences of dating a Muslim girl. I mean, isn't that against her religion?

 

Granted, I asked her if she was a strict follower of her faith, and she says while she does follow it, she's not very strict about it. So I don't know. I'm Christian... thoughts? I really want to be with her, but I don't know. I want to be in a relationship with her, but I dont want my schoolwork to be affected; I don't want her grades slipping, either.

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TheFinalWord
I've started going to a medically-related program at a university, and I met this girl from Iraq. She is absolutely stunning, and I have taken her out on dates. We've gotten to know each other well, and we click so well. The only problem is, that today is the last time i will see her until a few months from now. I won't see her until May, most likely. She's so interesting, and she sparks my intrigue like no other. Call it a crush if you will, but the way she looks at me, it's intoxicating.

 

I want her so bad, i feel sort of silly saying this haha. She has made it clear that she wants to go on another date, and I am happy! Only problem is, that won't be for a very long time. I told her that relationships distract me a lot, and that school comes first. She agreed with that, and she agreed that school is equally as important to her. So, what to do? Also, I've thought about the consequences of dating a Muslim girl. I mean, isn't that against her religion?

 

Granted, I asked her if she was a strict follower of her faith, and she says while she does follow it, she's not very strict about it. So I don't know. I'm Christian... thoughts? I really want to be with her, but I don't know. I want to be in a relationship with her, but I dont want my schoolwork to be affected; I don't want her grades slipping, either.

 

Not to preach at you, but I'm Christian and you can't be unequally yoked. I mean you can date her, but eventually you'll feel somethings missing. Trust me, I've been there and I know the problem with finding a girl you like and everything is there but that...and really when it gets down to it, it's the most important part. :D Right now it sounds primarily looks based. She is also intelligent and understands your "world" of school so you have a lot in common. If she's not very serious about her faith, perhaps she will convert. But be careful with that. It's not wise to give a girl your heart and then hope she converts! Dangerous ground. Use this time to pray about it and be honest with yourself.

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Just date for fun , studying is important but so is living . Who cares about religion ? You could find a good Christian girl but you might not find that connection . Incorporate both religions in your life , no one has to convert .

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Feelin Frisky
I've started going to a medically-related program at a university, and I met this girl from Iraq. She is absolutely stunning, and I have taken her out on dates. We've gotten to know each other well, and we click so well. The only problem is, that today is the last time i will see her until a few months from now. I won't see her until May, most likely. She's so interesting, and she sparks my intrigue like no other. Call it a crush if you will, but the way she looks at me, it's intoxicating.

 

I want her so bad, i feel sort of silly saying this haha. She has made it clear that she wants to go on another date, and I am happy! Only problem is, that won't be for a very long time. I told her that relationships distract me a lot, and that school comes first. She agreed with that, and she agreed that school is equally as important to her. So, what to do? Also, I've thought about the consequences of dating a Muslim girl. I mean, isn't that against her religion?

 

Granted, I asked her if she was a strict follower of her faith, and she says while she does follow it, she's not very strict about it. So I don't know. I'm Christian... thoughts? I really want to be with her, but I don't know. I want to be in a relationship with her, but I dont want my schoolwork to be affected; I don't want her grades slipping, either.

 

She sounds cool. Saddam kept Iraq from being a religious nut house to some degree so maybe she grew up in a relaxed Muslim family. She might be available. My friend is a Jew and he married a Muslim doctor and moved to Turkey. She is obviously not orthodox. I met a really cute Muslim girl from Karachi Pakistan about 3 years ago and she was such a doll. She was half my age and I didn't try to "get" her. I knew her family was a bit orthodox but she didn't wear any head scarves. They owned a 7-11 and she was also a "greeter" at a mall store. After I got friendly with her she would make my favorite coffee every time I went to 7-11 for me. I just though she should have a proper Muslim guy and didn't try to get frisky with her although she really was very modern and pretty. Muslims are people too.

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Yes it is forbidden to date in Islam. But it does happen. I'd say if you both want to do it, then why not.

 

But a word of caution just so you know what you might be getting into ... I'd be surprised if there is any long term future in this relationship as Muslim women are not allowed to Marry anyone other than a Muslim man. (Muslim men can marry anyone who is óf the book' so Jews and Christians as well). Also while she may not think she is very Muslim, you may find it a lot more different than you realise. For dating not really a problem, but some things like not being able to ever tell her family you are dating and stuff (lots of stuff) probably will happen anyway. Make sure you are ok with all that and I'd suggest making sure you can really communicate well to avoid misunderstandings.

 

My current boyfriend is Muslim, fantastic guy, we have a wonderful relationship so far. We won't ever get married, and the relationship will have an expiry date as while we have a wonderful time together we both realise having children together is not something we could do given our very different cultures and religious beliefs. Neither is right, just different and incompatible. So we are enjoying ourselves and appreciative of what we have right now.

 

If you want to have some time with someone you care about it's great, but if you feel like it might become very serious then you might want to consider whether you are willing to go into it knowing that she will likely end up marrying a good muslim boy of her parents approval. (Hey she might be from a really really liberal family... and none of this is a problem, but that is something only she can tell you about, you just need to make sure you ask the questions in order to decide how invested or not to get in this. Best of luck, hope you two have a lovely relationship.

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My mom married a muslim man. That's fine for her - but not the other way around. Of course, that is for those who are traditional and follow the rules, which is still the majority of muslims.

 

It's not her you need to have concerns about, it's her family. That being said, if she is from Iraq and was sent away for medical school, it's safe to say her family is somewhat on the liberal/wealthier end of the spectrum, rather than the "average" Iraqi girl. Being in medical school, I'm sure they would like that as well.

 

If she's fine with it, just give it a go. Worry about long-term issues if you get to that point. For now, study and enjoy :)

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I'm a Christian, and I'm dating a Muslim girl right now. In fact, every girl I've ever dated with one lone exception was Muslim. After having so many experiences with Muslim women and learning about the religion fairly extensively let me clarify a few things.

 

One, there is nothing in the Qur'an nor in traditional Islamic texts that says anything about "dating". For one thing, the idea of dating in the first place didn't exist until fairly recently in human history. So if anyone says "Islam forbids dating" they are simply regurgitating what some scholar or imam said rather than actually looking the issue and coming to their own conclusion. The only thing that gets tricky here is premarital sex which is highly frowned upon. But then again you have things like "temporary marriages" in the Shi'a branch of Islam which only exist as far as I can tell for the purposes of allowing unmarried couples to sleep together. Lots of Muslim women practice "courtship" or "prolonged engagement" which is the same as dating except with vague promises of one day getting married.

 

Two, there is also nothing in the Qur'an about women not being allowed to marry non-Muslim men. Again, lots of imams claim that this is the case, but it's not. More scholars today are coming to the conclusion that it's not forbidden in Islam. Obviously though lots of Muslims would be opposed to their daughters marrying a non-Muslim.

 

Third, not every Muslim is the same. Lots of "liberal" Muslims out there who are Muslim for the two Eids and/or when family comes to visit. Many of them could care less whether their daughter married a non-Muslim.

 

What I would do man is just ask her out. It's the only way of knowing a) whether she's interested b) she can actually date c) whether you even want to pursue this.

 

Good luck.

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Desensitized

Thanks for all your responses. Gah, I just don't know what to do. When I was my ex, I was not able to handle our relationship and my schoolwork very well, so my grades dropped. I like her a lot, but like a previous poster mentioned, I would have to agree that it has A LOT to do with looks. I hate to be superficial here, but she is beautiful. From what I already know about her too, I also love her personality (so far) Not being able to see her until May really sucks, but life goes on I guess.

 

Not like I'm never going to see her again, though, just have to wait a bit. I will definitely keep in contact with her daily and build our friendship up, so there's still that. I guess I'll have to limit contact with her too so I don't get too attached.

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