Jump to content

Second date at my place?


CocoaBrown

Recommended Posts

I met this guy online on Wednesday and we went out to lunch yesterday. Besides the initial first date jitters on both sides, we talked like we were old friends and it went really well. His smile alone makes me just wanna.....nevermind lol Since neither of us have family here and are spending the holidays alone, he wanted to do something this weekend. We are shooting for tomorrow since he works a 15hr shift today (security) and although he said we could look around and see what's open, I'm thinking it would just be easier if he came over and I could cook and we can just watch movies or something since it's Christmas Day ya know? But I feel weird about it cause I've only met him once. I usually don't invite people over so soon, but like I said it just makes more sense given the situation. Not sure if he would think I was strange for suggesting it though or if it would give off the wrong impression in some way....I don't know....I don't want him to be like man this woman is already inviting me to her place. I know I'm not gonna know until I ask him, but I'm nervous for some reason lol Am I overthinking it? What do you think?

Link to post
Share on other sites

The general rule of thumb is that you don't invite someone over (or accept an invitation) unless you are prepared to have sex. So if you want to have sex with that guy, go ahead and invite him over. However, if you are not ready yet, you risk ruining things by putting yourself in a situation where you have to reject his advances.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
The general rule of thumb is that you don't invite someone over (or accept an invitation) unless you are prepared to have sex. So if you want to have sex with that guy, go ahead and invite him over. However, if you are not ready yet, you risk ruining things by putting yourself in a situation where you have to reject his advances.

 

That's what I was afraid of. I don't wanna give off that vibe. I'm not looking for anything long-term right now, but I'm not the one to have sex with someone on the second date (no offense to those who do) so hmmm.

Link to post
Share on other sites
That's what I was afraid of. I don't wanna give off that vibe. I'm not looking for anything long-term right now, but I'm not the one to have sex with someone on the second date (no offense to those who do) so hmmm.

If you're not interested in anything long-term, what's the problem? I don't get it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
If you're not interested in anything long-term, what's the problem? I don't get it.

 

Huh? Well, I don't know....I don't like to have sex with people I don't know. I'm funny that way. lol We both said we want to spend time with someone but does that mean we should have sex the second date since we don't plan on getting married? On our date we talked about things that turned us off with dates in the past and the things he mentioned lets me know he isn't the type to sleep with someone on the 2nd date either which is why I was worried about giving off that vibe.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It is a unique situation with it being Christmas and a lot of things being closed, but I still wouldn't put myself in that situation unless I was prepared to sleep with him if I were you.

 

I'm not sure where you live but there's probably something open. Chinese? Casino nearby?

 

Good luck!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
It is a unique situation with it being Christmas and a lot of things being closed, but I still wouldn't put myself in that situation unless I was prepared to sleep with him if I were you.

 

I'm not sure where you live but there's probably something open. Chinese? Casino nearby?

 

Good luck!

 

haha Chinese is exactly what he suggested. I Googled to see what's open on Christmas Day (not sure why I didn't think of that before:rolleyes:) and found out there are actually bars, theaters, a place to play pool (not that I'm good) and a place to bowl. I'm gonna make a list and call around just to double check in case the site was wrong. I had no idea there would be several places to choose from so I was making it harder then it needed to be. Problem solved and I feel alot better going this route! Thanks. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree that maybe you shouldn't have him over for your second date.

 

I disagree, however, that when you do have someone to your place/go to a guy's place you should always expect to have sex. I have been to plenty of guy's houses where they didn't try to sleep with me. And I have had plenty to my place without sleeping with them. And they never acted like their expectations weren't met.

 

Of course, I'm living in the Midwest, maybe it's different here than some places.

 

I think that going out to chinese and bowling or playing pool sounds like a great second date/Christmas. :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I agree that maybe you shouldn't have him over for your second date.

 

I disagree, however, that when you do have someone to your place/go to a guy's place you should always expect to have sex. I have been to plenty of guy's houses where they didn't try to sleep with me. And I have had plenty to my place without sleeping with them. And they never acted like their expectations weren't met.

 

Of course, I'm living in the Midwest, maybe it's different here than some places.

 

I think that going out to chinese and bowling or playing pool sounds like a great second date/Christmas. :)

 

I found this thread....looks like the votes were don't do go till later lol or go in with no expectations. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t292765/

 

I made the right decision for my situation. I agree it shouldn't automatically be expected, but everyone is different and I just didn't want to give off the wrong impression in any way. We saw a movie and then went to Portland City Grill for dinner and drinks. Everything was delicious and he is such a sweet guy! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Dates at home usually connotates something, and this being a second date, it's a bad idea unless you really wanted it to lead to the bedroom.

 

If the opposite is what you had in mind, make sure you stated it was a " movie/dinner date" with a set curfew of 10 o'clock. Guests do not make it a habit of staying over unless you allow it.

Link to post
Share on other sites
The general rule of thumb is that you don't invite someone over (or accept an invitation) unless you are prepared to have sex. So if you want to have sex with that guy, go ahead and invite him over. However, if you are not ready yet, you risk ruining things by putting yourself in a situation where you have to reject his advances.

It's also a good test of the guy's character...if he is put off by the fact that you wont have sex despite inviting him over, then he isnt worth it...sure he might be hoping and thinking it is a possibility (as would I), but it shouldnt be a guarantee.

 

As someone else said, Ive had early dates at my place or the girls place where I didnt expect nor pressure any sex.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Cocoa

 

Sounds like a very successful second date! Good for you. Glad you had a good time. Sounds like you made the right choice for you and it worked out. Less pressure that way I think.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...