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After sex, when should he text or call?


spinaroonie

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You've been on three great dates and had sex on the third date. You left his apartment afterwards and didn't spend the night.

 

Do you guys contact a girl the day after the first bang if you intend to hit it again? There are definitely different schools on this, and I'm curious what you guys--especially the more experienced among you--do and, of course, what your rationale is behind it.

 

I've generally subscribed to the I-can-now-show-a-little-bit-softness school and send a quick, silly, or light-teasing text the next day related to something we did or talked about the previous night. The rationale is that it will evaporate any creeping awkwardness in her head and secure her for future escapades.

 

The other side of that coin is that it's better to keep her wondering for a day or two and then drop a line for maximum effect. Contacting her so immediately conveys, at best, a relationshipy vibe or, worse, a needy, beta vibe.

 

Ladies, what do you prefer?

 

Thoughts?

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Ladies, what do you prefer?

 

I prefer a guy who genuinely likes me and wants to be with me, not a manipulative jerk who just wants to "hit it." And that's why I don't have sex on the 3rd date.

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I prefer a guy who genuinely likes me and wants to be with me, not a manipulative jerk who just wants to "hit it." And that's why I don't have sex on the 3rd date.

 

Good for you, but many women (most nowadays) will give up the P in the hopes of getting the R with a high value guy.

 

The fear is if she doesn't put out, he'll move on to someone who will. Particularly if he seems like a guy with options.

 

It's a buyer's market for high value guys.

 

How long do you wait?

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"Secure her for future escapades"? Yuck.

 

The sad truth is, I suspect, that you are completely overwhelmed with love for this girl and incapacitated by your emotions. So, whenever you contact her, you are likely to convey a very desperate, hopeful, "relationshipy" and most certainly omega vibe. It's probably best that you let her move on to dating some real men who have something to offer her. For maximum effect.

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OP, can you post here using regular English and your own words rather than PUA cliches and cut and pasted articles from their bastions of wisdom?

 

In this case, your "first bang" will also be your last.

Thanks.

Edited by Mme. Chaucer
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"Secure her for future escapades"? Yuck.

 

The sad truth is, I suspect, that you are completely overwhelmed with love for this girl and incapacitated by your emotions. So, whenever you contact her, you are likely to convey a very desperate, hopeful, "relationshipy" and most certainly omega vibe. It's probably best that you let her move on to dating some real men who have something to offer her. For maximum effect.

 

Whoa, you've got me all figured out! :cool:

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You've been on three great dates and had sex on the third date. You left his apartment afterwards and didn't spend the night.

 

Do you guys contact a girl the day after the first bang if you intend to hit it again? There are definitely different schools on this, and I'm curious what you guys--especially the more experienced among you--do and, of course, what your rationale is behind it.

 

I've generally subscribed to the I-can-now-show-a-little-bit-softness school and send a quick, silly, or light-teasing text the next day related to something we did or talked about the previous night. The rationale is that it will evaporate any creeping awkwardness in her head and secure her for future escapades.

 

The other side of that coin is that it's better to keep her wondering for a day or two and then drop a line for maximum effect. Contacting her so immediately conveys, at best, a relationshipy vibe or, worse, a needy, beta vibe.

 

Ladies, what do you prefer?

 

Thoughts?

 

I prefer a man that is going to follow his heart and not play games. If he likes me and enjoyed our time together, I want him to tell me.....I want to hear from him and make plans to see each other again.....The sooner the better......

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I generally want some sort of acknowledgement that you're still interested the day after, not necessarily an invitation to another date. In fact, NOT an invitation. Just something to make me feel attractive and valued.

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Ruby Slippers

If I didn't hear from the guy the day after we had sex, that would be the last time we had sex.

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To me, a high value man doesn't play games to manipulate women into bed. He's honest and respectful and knows the meaning of the word 'honor.' A high value man wouldn't need to call me the next day because we'd be laughing and having breakfast together in the morning.

 

Jeez. Kids these days are so slimy. Yuck.

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A high value man wouldn't need to call me the next day because we'd be laughing and having breakfast together in the morning

 

That's interesting -- I for one am more comfortable having sex with someone than sleeping with them and usually it is the second step that takes much longer. I'm more of a "thanks that was nice I'm calling a cab!" kind of girl. But I still appreciate a day-after text.

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Good for you, but many women (most nowadays) will give up the P in the hopes of getting the R with a high value guy.

 

The fear is if she doesn't put out, he'll move on to someone who will. Particularly if he seems like a guy with options.

 

That's sad. Don't they realize putting out won't get you love? The way I see it, if a guy really cares about me, he'll wait. If he doesn't care about me, why would I want to have sex with him?

 

It's a buyer's market for high value guys.

 

Define "high value." A guy who tries to manipulate women for sex is not high value. He's just pathetic.

 

How long do you wait?

 

I wait until we've been in a committed relationship for at least several months. I don't do casual sex. This ensures that no one ever takes advantage of me and no one uses me for sex. Rushing into sex too soon is just asking to get hurt, especially for women.

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What is it with this 'having sex but not sleeping over' thing. Is that an american custom? Over here it would be viewed as pretty damn weird if you went back to someone's house at night, had sex, and then left. Even if it's just a one nighter you still stay the night.

 

Anyway, in answer to your question:

 

You text or call the next day. If you're leaving in the morning because you stayed over, that means the same day. Why? You have absolutely nothing to lose at this point. You don't need to 'play it cool' or any of that crap. The girl already likes you. She had sex with you. SHE WILL NOT THINK YOU'RE CREEPY IF YOU TEXT THE DAY AFTER SEX.

 

And if you want more, whether in a dating sense or something more casual, you are best off making her feel like you respect her.

 

No girl will ever be put off by you contacting her the day after sex, unless you were really crap in bed. An awful lot will be put off if you don't contact them.

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Do you guys contact a girl the day after the first bang if you intend to hit it again?

 

Hope to, not intend to, and I wont bother correcting the rest of the language. From the way you write I'm getting a picture of little respect and of wanting to appear to be doing the right thing. In a world where there's more respect then of course the guy contacts the girl the next day (or later the same day if they woke up together) to tell her how much he enjoyed her company the night before and, perhaps, expressing a desire to see her again.

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The last guy I had sex with on a third date sent a bouquet flowers the next day. :D:D:D

 

And let me guess, you re-named him as 'Creep' in your phone, told all your friends, and never spoke to 'Creep' again.

 

That's what you should've done, at any rate.

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Good for you, but many women (most nowadays) will give up the P in the hopes of getting the R with a high value guy.

 

The fear is if she doesn't put out, he'll move on to someone who will. Particularly if he seems like a guy with options.

 

It's a buyer's market for high value guys.

 

How long do you wait?

 

This girl has been stringing you along for like 2 months while you made multiple threads about her on the internet, analyzing her every text. I think it's her market, frankly. :laugh:

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The last guy I had sex with on a third date sent a bouquet flowers the next day. :D:D:D

 

Awesome Carrie :D:bunny: You must have been on your best behaviour that night! :laugh:

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Should you keep her "wondering for a day or two" after you've had sex? Ew.:sick:

 

No woman with an ounce of self-respect would continue to speak to a guy who blew her off for "a day or two" after she gave her body to him. You sound terrible for even considering doing that.

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Awesome Carrie :D:bunny: You must have been on your best behaviour that night! :laugh:

 

Apparently I am the first woman to give him multiple orgasms on a first-encounter... And I am quite insatiable which is not something he was used to in a woman.

 

He's taking me to Paris in February. :love::love::love:

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Apparently I am the first woman to give him multiple orgasms on a first-encounter... And I am quite insatiable which is not something he was used to in a woman.

 

He's taking me to Paris in February. :love::love::love:

 

Well damn. :laugh:

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Apparently I am the first woman to give him multiple orgasms on a first-encounter... And I am quite insatiable which is not something he was used to in a woman.

 

He's taking me to Paris in February. :love::love::love:

 

:laugh: You go girl!!! :bunny::bunny::bunny:

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The last guy I had sex with on a third date sent a bouquet flowers the next day. :D:D:D

 

He's taking me to Paris in February. :love::love::love:

 

LS men take note! :laugh:

 

This man has style - and then some!!! :love:

 

(Unlike the OP - :sick:)

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OP - why do you cross post every single one of your threads on sosuave as well as usually 3 or 4 other sites?

 

Clearly, you're a follower of the PUA gurus. Why not just stay over there where you won't have to be troubled with the perspectives of actual women and men who like women?

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Good for you, but many women (most nowadays) will give up the P in the hopes of getting the R with a high value guy.

 

The fear is if she doesn't put out, he'll move on to someone who will. Particularly if he seems like a guy with options.

 

It's a buyer's market for high value guys.

 

How long do you wait?

 

It depends on a woman. If you deal with a woman with some brains and some common sense, you contact her next day if you want to continue to f....k her. If you deal with a woman with no brains and no common sense, you can do whatever you want. Because she is crazy and irrational anyway and it has nothing to do with what you do or say.

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