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Relationship material vs Non Relationship material


Miss S H

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So basically, I see soo many girls out there and guys who have soo much going for them, they’re confident, good looking and genuinely caring affectionate people who want a relationship vs a bit of mucking around. All still fun, and have no problem meeting girls/guys.

The problems comes after the intial meeting and courting stages, irrespective of who is doing the courting…… there is just some people who can’t move past into a “relationship”.

No matter how much they get along with people they date/meet or how much attraction or suitability there is.

Are there certain things which are killers? Or is a large percentage of society really that futile these days?

For example, sex on the first or second date, or too early, is that a deal breaker for guys?

A guy who is too sweet or keen, a turn off for some girls perhaps?

Personally, I see no issue with either, because I figure if you’re into someone, and personally I can tell instantly, things like that aren’t deal breakers.

But are they for most?

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and I can totally understand that, but do the two have to be mutually exclusive experiences?

 

What if you had all those beautiful moments, of looking into eachothers eyes, laughing ridiculously, or a soft touch to the arm or neck or hand?

 

But also happened to have sex?

 

Why is affection and intimacy that clearly differentiated, when really they should be intertwined- if one wants.

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But what differentiates promiscuous over someone who genuinely feels a connection with you?

 

Its presumptuous to beleive a girl or guy (mostly a girl) who you are dating and opts to sleep with you earlier rather than later, behaves this way regularly.

 

What if she or he has been alone for years and are happy to have met someone they finally feel comfortable and open to being intimate with?

 

Agreed each to their own though, and thats exactly my point !

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I like to have sex with somebody I feel a great connection with but I also like to know that both of us can have some self control. My wife and I dated two months before we did the deed and it was worth it.

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So basically, I see soo many girls out there and guys who have soo much going for them, they’re confident, good looking and genuinely caring affectionate people who want a relationship vs a bit of mucking around. All still fun, and have no problem meeting girls/guys.

 

The problems comes after the intial meeting and courting stages, irrespective of who is doing the courting…… there is just some people who can’t move past into a “relationship”.

 

No matter how much they get along with people they date/meet or how much attraction or suitability there is.

 

Are there certain things which are killers? Or is a large percentage of society really that futile these days?

 

For example, sex on the first or second date, or too early, is that a deal breaker for guys?

 

A guy who is too sweet or keen, a turn off for some girls perhaps?

Personally, I see no issue with either, because I figure if you’re into someone, and personally I can tell instantly, things like that aren’t deal breakers.

 

But are they for most?

 

The reality is it comes down to WHO said girl is pursuing.

 

I know plenty of attractive, successful, intelligent women who all seemingly have loads of trouble finding men. The myth many believe is that they're not noticed, or men want "sluttier" women, or some other excuse.

 

The REALITY is most of these women pursue the wrong guys.

 

Some of these women seemingly pass up any average guy who is sincere and a gentleman, but still keep flirting with narcissistic yuppies and douchebags who spend more time at the gym than with any woman they date. These particular women keep hoping that because they're nearing or are in their 30s that the guys would be past the "bro" thing, and thus will be ready to commit...but most of them won't.

 

Others are chasing men they believe should pick them because these women see themselves as the combo of looks/success/brains, but fail to "get it" that even the doctor or lawyer they were drooling over still wants a hot young piece of tail who will be home cooking him dinner in nothing but an apron and some high heels...then later let him do her anally.

 

I know I'm making narrow assumptions, but the point most of these women don't "get" is that many men do not think like them. Regardless of how successful, smart, and handsome a man is...if he's wanting "young hot slutty airhead" as his woman, or they want to be "single and banging" til they die, then these women simply have to accept that these are not potential mates.

 

That's what too many women won't accept. Some wake up frustrated at how all the men who will commit and such are not "hot enough" or "successful enough" for these women, but all the men these women really want won't commit or even pick said women over the "young hot sluts".

 

"What does he want in a woman?" and "What does he want in life?" are things that should be seen as important as how he looks, how much money he makes, and how smart he is, or how much of a sense of humor he has. A marriage-minded woman is only wasting her time with guys who really want nothing more than a fling. There is no "changing them" or "taming them".

 

Men and women have to pick from what's available to them (the people who want what they want), or choose to be alone.

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The problems comes after the intial meeting and courting stages, irrespective of who is doing the courting…… there is just some people who can’t move past into a “relationship”.

 

I have the opposite problem. Relationships are dead easy to get into. Not one girl I've dated long enough to sleep with has dumped me in the last 8 years. They all think I'm 'The One'.

 

However... making a good enough first impression to get past the first couple of dates is a different story. The vast majority of the time I'll get the 'no chemistry/connection' line.

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