amythan Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 It is funny how i told the same story to two friends of mine (a guy and a girl) and how they react completely opposite. The story itself is quite silly and the main lines are: I slept with a guy in a party five weeks ago, left in a rush (almost rude) and then manage to get him number and texted last tuesday asking if he wanted to have drinks one day after work. I know he has been asking my friends about me. He replied right away saying we should meet soon and the plan sounds good. And then i said cool. Nothing else. So i told my friends i was waiting this guy to contact me and my girl friend says that of course i should wait and do nothing. My guy friend was funnily revolted. He said that my expectations are unrealistic. That after five weeks i text someone and i expect the guy to make plans "for tomorrow". My friend told me that guy was very kind but he probably thought i was not even interested and he does not know me enough and my last contact with him was kind of rude. He thinks i should text him with a firm day and see if he accepts and go from then. He said something like you start this mainly because you are bored (and not even that interested) and now you are not able to follow up ? He said that if he was the guy he would be waiting for me to follow up ... I am confused with this approach but maybe it makes sense ... Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 It does (to me) follow that if you ask someone out for a drink you're going to suggest where and when, but that's not for certain. Do you want to hook up again? If so, why not call him and have a chat? Link to post Share on other sites
Author amythan Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 Yeah i know but i kind of panicked and wanted to look cool (my mistake again:)). He was really nice and sweet but i just said cool. i have to go now. And he replied saying sweet dreams, see you soon. I find him hot and extremely nice and laid back. This does not mean i want to have a relationship with him. We do not know each other. I do not call him because it seems intrusive at this stage. Link to post Share on other sites
kaleidoscope Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Personally, I never understood these 'waiting' games. As a guy I never played them. Ever. If I like a girl I'll ask her out. If she likes me, nothing wrong with her asking me out. Why should anyone wait? Is someone trying to play hard to get? I don't get it but the thing that struck me the most was why were you being 'almost' rude when you left in a rush? I would be upset about that even as a guy. Sounds like you had a hookup and barely knew each other, maybe never exchanged numbers. Guess you had fun though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amythan Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 You are kind of right. He has all his rights to be upset but he is not .. I left (despite he asked me to stay) because i was drunk and felt suddenly bad because i just broke up with my former bf. I did wrong though. If someone does this to me i would feel annoyed to say the least. Maybe my friend is right and i should follow up with firm plans. At the end of the day if he says no or make an excuse is unlikely he is going to break my heart .. Link to post Share on other sites
OneFootOut Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 I find him hot and extremely nice and laid back. This does not mean i want to have a relationship with him. We do not know each other. You already know you have no desire to pursue a relationship with the guy, so why bother contacting him at all? Let him go find someone who is more interested in getting to know him. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 That's the spirit! Sounds to me like you got a bit nervous, but it's cool - we all do sometimes. Call him and arrange something. No need to have a full blown relationship if all you want is some sexy times right now. Link to post Share on other sites
kaleidoscope Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Whether you want a full relationship or not is your business. But I hope both of you are on the same page. If he wants a relationship and you don't and nothing is communicated I see heartbreak on the horizon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amythan Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 Wow this seems a bit premature ! Let's see first if he wants to go out with me once and then we will see ... At this point we have nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
kaleidoscope Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Ok perhaps. But sleeping with someone before a relationship is obviously not premature lol! Not judging, just saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amythan Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 Hahaha you have a point here Link to post Share on other sites
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