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Found 3 saved messages from his ex girlfriend on his phone...is that bad?


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Old 17th October 2011, 10:18 AM   #1
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Exclamation Found 3 saved messages from his ex girlfriend on his phone...is that bad?

Okay so I was spending the night with my ex-turned-bf, and I woke up at 5 am yesterday and couldn't find my phone, to see what time it was. (didn't know it was 5 yet) I picked up his and it said 5:26... "I love you, Hannah" was his banner.

My name is not Hannah.

It pissed me off so much, that I skimmed his inbox, only searching for saved messages cause I know he likes to save some cute texts.

There were 3. From this "Hannah". Her friend's phone at least, so I don't worry about him contacting her much. And they weren't recent or anything.

One I remember the best was kind of long, and it said something about their "wedding." They're dumb cause after a month of dating (high school...come on) they said they were "engaged". It kind of made me upset because I risked getting in trouble at home to be with him, my parents thought I was somewhere else, but I was sleeping with him in my car by my friend's house. >.>

I woke him up when his alarm went off about 10 minutes later and I said, "nice banner". he said, "I just haven't changed it".

Last night, I said, "I saw your saved messages....bye"
He called me and yelled at me saying that he's allowed to "keep memories" because "It's not like she cheated on me or anything, we broke up mutually."

I could believe that IF he wasn't saying she's a whore and that she acted like she was single by staying at guy's houses drinking beer every weekend, instead of seeing him.


I am so pissed... I'm waiting till he comes to me, because I'll say something stupid if I go to him.

I pointed out that he seems to hate her then contradicts himself by saying he wants to keep memories, and I haven't talked to him since.
I do have a right to be upset right?
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Last edited by purplepanda; 17th October 2011 at 10:26 AM..
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Old 17th October 2011, 10:38 AM   #2
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Wait..you started a fight over some old emails he had on his phone and a banner he hasn't changed ?
They aren't communicating or talking and you are pissed at him...

Talk about an over reaction...

While him having his banner still set is kinda dumb on his part I think you starting a fight over it all is worse.

How long has he been broken up with this person Hanna ?
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Old 17th October 2011, 10:49 AM   #3
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Wait..you started a fight over some old emails he had on his phone and a banner he hasn't changed ?
They aren't communicating or talking and you are pissed at him...

Talk about an over reaction...

While him having his banner still set is kinda dumb on his part I think you starting a fight over it all is worse.

How long has he been broken up with this person Hanna ?
3 weeks.
And we're together and he says he loves me, etc, but he has saved messages?
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Old 17th October 2011, 10:57 AM   #4
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3 weeks.
And we're together and he says he loves me, etc, but he has saved messages?
PP.. really you should just apologize to him for going all spazzy on him and just ask him to remove the emails and banner..
3 weeks isn't that long and he should get a pass on this.
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Old 17th October 2011, 9:24 PM   #5
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He's allowed to save messages on his phone. That's not cheating on you. Besides, he's not going to forget about her in 3 weeks.
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Old 17th October 2011, 11:38 PM   #6
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You could have handled the situation way better. Sure, it's an unsettling feeling to see saved messages from his ex, but you blew up at him and it wasn't even a big deal. Theres no way this relationship is going to last.
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Old 18th October 2011, 10:07 AM   #7
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Um...I did not blow up at him. I mentioned them. He blew up at ME. O.o
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Old 18th October 2011, 11:36 AM   #8
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Um...I did not blow up at him. I mentioned them. He blew up at ME. O.o

Sorry guys, but I disagree with everyone on this. Memories are memories for a reason! And ex's are ex's for a reason, they belong in the past, and that's it! Like I said before, while some people are busy holding onto their memories, others are making new ones. The girl that I ended up going 'out' with for a few weeks still kept pictures of her and her ex as her desktop background on her computer (obviously someone is still living in the past).

When my ex broke up with me I didn't keep ANYTHING! No pictures, scrapbook, gift or anything that was given to me by her.

No guy, or girl for that matter wants to see pictures, videos or messages that involve their partners 'ex' getting close to them. It's a territorial issue.

He shouldn't have blown up at her, irregardless if she found anything or not. If you have nothing to hide then why does it matter? Most of the time people get defensive when they know that they are wrong. Especially in these situations.
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Old 18th October 2011, 11:58 AM   #9
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3 weeks.
And we're together and he says he loves me, etc, but he has saved messages?
Actually this entire relationship seems really unstable.

The boy breaks up with a girl to whom he is "engaged", and 3 weeks later is telling another girl he loves her? I don't know that much, but 3 weeks seems to be a really short time to me. I understand that this is probably high school? But still, wow...

Just four days ago you weren't sure about getting back together with him.

I predict this relationship isn't going to last.
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Old 18th October 2011, 3:25 PM   #10
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Sorry guys, but I disagree with everyone on this. Memories are memories for a reason! And ex's are ex's for a reason, they belong in the past, and that's it! Like I said before, while some people are busy holding onto their memories, others are making new ones. The girl that I ended up going 'out' with for a few weeks still kept pictures of her and her ex as her desktop background on her computer (obviously someone is still living in the past).

When my ex broke up with me I didn't keep ANYTHING! No pictures, scrapbook, gift or anything that was given to me by her.

No guy, or girl for that matter wants to see pictures, videos or messages that involve their partners 'ex' getting close to them. It's a territorial issue.

He shouldn't have blown up at her, irregardless if she found anything or not. If you have nothing to hide then why does it matter? Most of the time people get defensive when they know that they are wrong. Especially in these situations.
But not everyone is like you. I still have pics and msgs saved from my ex and old crushes. I don't want them (the ppl) anymore.
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Old 18th October 2011, 4:01 PM   #11
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I totally agree that he should get a pass on not cleaning his phone out in the mere 3 weeks after a break-up.

That said....

You are so a 'rebound-FWB' girl. You sleep with him in a car?!?! Geez - tell him to get a room.
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Old 18th October 2011, 5:34 PM   #12
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You people need to quit going thru each other's phones. If I found out someone I was dating did this (even tho I have nothing to hide) immediate termination of the relationship.

Trust needs to be there. Going thru my phone is an invasion of my privacy, shows insecurity that I wouldn't deal with.
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Old 18th October 2011, 6:44 PM   #13
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He moved on too quickly. And you should do the both of you a favor by dumping him. You're both obviously very young and this is only going to cause problems down the road. High school relationships have a tendency to be so incredibly volatile, and that's demonstrated even here.

Three weeks in? I highly doubt he loves you, but he's going through the motions of what he thinks a relationship is supposed to be. I remember my ex called me and told me he 'loved' me the day after we started dating - and we were older than you (19 and 20) at the time. I was floored and scratching my head. Even a month or two down the road those feelings were still not there. Does he care about you? Maybe. Does he love you? Probably not.

I have been hurt by people clinging to the past. When you find evidence of something like this SO SOON into your relationship (although to be fair, very shortly after his break-up with her), it leaves you wondering what else you are going to find. In my experiences, it is very rare that you just find 'a picture he forgot to get rid of' or 'a note he left behind.' Often it's pictures and videos all over the place, notes all over the place, etc. You are literally getting swatted in the head with it every hour you're together and that gets to be unbearable.

There is a very fine line between holding onto a FEW things from the past and clinging to the past. Most people cling. But they will use any excuse they can to claim they're not or they'll hurl it back at you ("You're just unreasonably jealous."). And if a partner is holding onto a few mementos, frankly I think it's just respectful that I never know about it.

However, you did snoop into his phone without previous provocation (doesn't sound like it was obvious through his behavior that he was up to something). This relationship isn't going to last. You need to develop some self-esteem and confidence outside of this relationship - which is another thing that leads me to believe it would be best for you to end this with this guy.

You will find many split views on when or when not to snoop - but even I can say there's a difference between your snooping and someone snooping when her boyfriend's gone all hours of the night, very guarding of his phone and computer, etc.
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Old 21st October 2011, 10:35 AM   #14
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Sorry guys, but I disagree with everyone on this. Memories are memories for a reason! And ex's are ex's for a reason, they belong in the past, and that's it! Like I said before, while some people are busy holding onto their memories, others are making new ones. The girl that I ended up going 'out' with for a few weeks still kept pictures of her and her ex as her desktop background on her computer (obviously someone is still living in the past).

When my ex broke up with me I didn't keep ANYTHING! No pictures, scrapbook, gift or anything that was given to me by her.

No guy, or girl for that matter wants to see pictures, videos or messages that involve their partners 'ex' getting close to them. It's a territorial issue.

He shouldn't have blown up at her, irregardless if she found anything or not. If you have nothing to hide then why does it matter? Most of the time people get defensive when they know that they are wrong. Especially in these situations.
Nice to see someone doesn't think I'm completely in the wrong here...
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Old 21st October 2011, 10:38 AM   #15
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Actually this entire relationship seems really unstable.

The boy breaks up with a girl to whom he is "engaged", and 3 weeks later is telling another girl he loves her? I don't know that much, but 3 weeks seems to be a really short time to me. I understand that this is probably high school? But still, wow...

Just four days ago you weren't sure about getting back together with him.

I predict this relationship isn't going to last.
It didn't last. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t303290/
We've known each other 2 years, and have dated for a total of about 8 months altogether (the first time was 6 without breaking up), so it's not like we just met, etc.
I know it was too soon to jump in, but I was afraid of letting a chance pass me by.
Ironic since he just passed me by, eh?
And we haven't been together for 3 weeks, just talking for 3 weeks. Getting a feel for each other again. Of course, he completely used me, should've seen that one coming.
I will now go back to staying home for things that have a couples' price, and having no contact whatsoever. >.>
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