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When the other person won't forgive


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Old 28th September 2011, 11:00 PM   #1
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When the other person won't forgive

What if u care about someone a lot, and u know u did wrong, & u finally feel terribly... and u send the person both a long email and a voicemail apologizing profusely, but u don't get a response from either one?

It's been 2 days since. Do I try to apologize again? I might try another voicemail again tonight, or do I wait a few more days? I want to give some space and not be too pushy
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Old 28th September 2011, 11:33 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by ls333 View Post
What if u care about someone a lot, and u know u did wrong, & u finally feel terribly... and u send the person both a long email and a voicemail apologizing profusely, but u don't get a response from either one?

It's been 2 days since. Do I try to apologize again? I might try another voicemail again tonight, or do I wait a few more days? I want to give some space and not be too pushy
You made the effort, apologized, wrote an email and in a voicemail too. You've done your part and now you need to respect that person and allow them the time and space to work through this. It's only been 2 days. Don't call or email again. Some people need time, some people forgive quickly and others don't forgive at all, it's one strike and you're out.

I do hope your friend, the person you care about, at least talks to you. It's nice to be acknowledged once an apology has been offered.. but, that's just me, it's common courtesy and respect.

Whatever it is that you did or said and want their forgiveness, is it just words that will matter or is it action as well?

Anyway, keep posting, and please, don't contact your friend so soon. If in 2-4 weeks you've heard nothing, let it go...
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Old 28th September 2011, 11:55 PM   #3
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It seems that whatever you did was a dealbreaker for this person. I would chalk it up as a lesson learned, and don't repeat the offense in your next chance at a relationship with the next guy.
So, at this point you are only bothering the person by contacting them. Let them be and learn from your behavior, and plan on living your life without them in it (because they have decided they don't want you in theirs, so respect that.)
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Old 29th September 2011, 7:36 AM   #4
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When you say "finally feel terrible" how long is "finally"?
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Old 29th September 2011, 7:58 AM   #5
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Depends what you did... if you cheated, just accept that you destroyed the relationship and move on.
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Old 29th September 2011, 4:35 PM   #6
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When you say "finally feel terrible" how long is "finally"?
Months. I can't stand the guilt anymore about trying to ruin things forthis person I didn't mean to, I just didn't know why the person would ever leave me and choose someone else over me and I couldn't stand the thought of their new relationship working out. But now I just feel so bad about the sabotage and I'm going to stop for good
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Old 29th September 2011, 4:59 PM   #7
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The best amends you can make is to stop sabotaging her current relationship and leave her alone. Contacting her is not helping her in any way. It makes the situation worse.

Give her peace and leave her alone. If you are torn up with guilt and obsession, go see a therapist. This has been going on for months and sounds not healthy at all. Sometimes people need help in getting over a breakup. I certainly did in the past.
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