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Is this only physical or more ?


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Old 28th September 2011, 12:16 PM   #1
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Is this only physical or more ?

Ive been dating this girl for about 2 months now, and we always where clear that this was only a casual dating thing where we can date other people on the side. As of late we started to see eachother more often from once a week to 3 times a week and sometimes more. Ive been independant and shes been giving me signs that she wants more then just date casualy, the other day I sent her an email and basically said "Understand that I don't want to see you for only the physical but you entirely" her answer was "Understood" ??? what does that supose to mean ? When I open up she\'s cold when Im cold she opens up ??
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Old 28th September 2011, 12:26 PM   #2
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You need to have a serious discussion with her.

We don't know if it means that she simply understands your desires for a more than physical relationship--but doesn't feel the same way--and didn't want to discuss it then, or that she shares your desires for a more than physical relationship.
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Old 28th September 2011, 12:45 PM   #3
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Well your email to her wasn't exactly clear. Saying you want to see more for than just the physical still doesn't mean you want a relationship or commitment. It could just mean that you like hanging out with her & think she is a fun person. So if you do want a relationship, just be straight up & tell her you want to be exclusive.
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Old 28th September 2011, 12:46 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Conscience View Post
Ive been dating this girl for about 2 months now, and we always where clear that this was only a casual dating thing where we can date other people on the side. As of late we started to see eachother more often from once a week to 3 times a week and sometimes more. Ive been independant and shes been giving me signs that she wants more then just date casualy, the other day I sent her an email and basically said "Understand that I don't want to see you for only the physical but you entirely" her answer was "Understood" ??? what does that supose to mean ? When I open up she\'s cold when Im cold she opens up ??

More silly games.

If you are seeing each other three times a week (or more) it is not a casual thing.

And if you or her are sleeping with other people while having sex with each other 3-5 times a week then you the two of you are crazoid sex addicts or you have too much free time on your hands.


Maybe it is me, but if I saw a girl regularly 3-4 times a week she would be my GF. Casual would be a hook-up every once in a while.

Quote:
"Understand that I don't want to see you for only the physical but you entirely" her answer was "Understood" ??? what does that supose to mean
If she is like most women in the planet she is already developing strong feelings for you. It is not rocket science.

It also means that the two of you are afraid to say "we are an item'.

Like I said: If I was you I would consider her my GF. And I would be very surprised if she was f****ing someone else. So it is safe to say you are both exclusive.

Last edited by Pierre; 28th September 2011 at 12:49 PM..
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Old 28th September 2011, 2:54 PM   #5
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I know its complicated, where both mid 30's ! and have kids and divorced etc the thing is that we both still go on a online dating site ....even if we see eachother 3 times a week! i.e she left my house in the morning to go to her place before work next thing you know she's online on the dating site.....
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Old 28th September 2011, 2:56 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by make me believe View Post
Well your email to her wasn't exactly clear. Saying you want to see more for than just the physical still doesn't mean you want a relationship or commitment. It could just mean that you like hanging out with her & think she is a fun person. So if you do want a relationship, just be straight up & tell her you want to be exclusive.
I would like to be straight up but Im affraid she wont recipricate
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Old 28th September 2011, 4:46 PM   #7
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I would like to be straight up but Im affraid she wont recipricate
And if she doesn't reciprocate, what's the worst that will happen? You aren't going to die, the world isn't going to end.. but you'll know where she stands and you can proceed from there. Wouldn't you rather KNOW that she doesn't want anything serious (even though it's not exactly what you want to hear) than spend your time wondering & waiting? You can waste a LOT of time playing games and refusing to be straight forward, but for your own peace of mind I think you should just ask her what she's looking for and where she sees this going.

I also don't consider seeing each other 3-5 times a week and having sex as casual, so I would bet that she definitely has feelings for you. She might be trying to keep her options open on the dating site because she's not sure how you feel about her and doesn't want to get too attached if you don't want a relationship.
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Old 28th September 2011, 5:09 PM   #8
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I also don't consider seeing each other 3-5 times a week and having sex as casual, so I would bet that she definitely has feelings for you. She might be trying to keep her options open on the dating site because she's not sure how you feel about her and doesn't want to get too attached if you don't want a relationship.
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How hard can it be to say "I think I am falling for you."

Maybe she is on the dating site because she is frustrated with the fact that you are with her practically all the time and do not speak up.

This forum is full of women that regularly have sex with guys and are wondering if the guy has feelings. However, they are afraid to speak up and assume he must not like them-----so they look elsewhere.
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Old 28th September 2011, 5:11 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by make me believe View Post
And if she doesn't reciprocate, what's the worst that will happen? You aren't going to die, the world isn't going to end.. but you'll know where she stands and you can proceed from there. Wouldn't you rather KNOW that she doesn't want anything serious (even though it's not exactly what you want to hear) than spend your time wondering & waiting? You can waste a LOT of time playing games and refusing to be straight forward, but for your own peace of mind I think you should just ask her what she's looking for and where she sees this going.

I also don't consider seeing each other 3-5 times a week and having sex as casual, so I would bet that she definitely has feelings for you. She might be trying to keep her options open on the dating site because she's not sure how you feel about her and doesn't want to get too attached if you don't want a relationship.
You know what you are right! F**** it I will ask her straigh up and then will see! I post the reply as soon as I know wish me luck ah!
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Old 28th September 2011, 5:18 PM   #10
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I also don't consider seeing each other 3-5 times a week and having sex as casual, so I would bet that she definitely has feelings for you. She might be trying to keep her options open on the dating site because she's not sure how you feel about her and doesn't want to get too attached if you don't want a relationship.
This is highly possible, as that's what I'm doing. I have an FWB that I like very much, and we seem to do have a more-than-FWB/casual set-up just like you.... But the common wisdom is that guys can never move from wanting FWB to wanting to date/a relationship, so she's acting in a self-protective manner. She may also be trying to respect your boundaries, not push you about commitment or come across as needy/demanding/insecure.

Here's my thread on the other side of the coin. Might give you some insight as to why she's concerned about reading into stuff too much: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t299818/
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