Wondering out in left field.

[goldenboy7115]

I'm a 39 year old male that for the last 4 years, have been taking care of my parents (medical issues). At the same time I found out my Mom was ill, I had to dump my fiancee' for cheating on me. We had been together for the previous 4 years. Oh, did I mention I just lost my job to "new management?" So, I haven't dated a while nor have I gone out to try. Things were just too complicated. Now, I'd like to start dating again, but the dating sites and clubs aren't the ticket for me. Do you know how many women ask what you do on the first date? How many understand you are between jobs right now? LOL! So, being 39 and single, unemployed and frustrated because of scheduling conflicts..I don't want to be alone anymore. I've got a best friend that's 61 this year dating a 29 year old who is deeply in love with him. It would blow your mind if you could see him (big ol' fatty) and her (smokin') together. No need for sugar daddy..she comes from money; if that's what anyone's thinking. Can I find the same? So I'm asking some advice about how to re-enter the dating world and how to phrase my situation as to not get the cold shoulder? Thanks to you all!

[goldenboy7115]

You know, I should not expect a response to this. I already know the answers internally. I just wanted verification.

[madjac74]

Don't tell them your situation right away. Give them a chance to get to know YOU first. I know one of the first questions everyone asks on a date is "so what do you do?" Dodge it, fabricate it or whatever.

 

Or be completely honest right away and if they aren't completely shallow then they will give you a chance.

 

I have learned that women will surprise you. Only after I told them I wasn't interested did some of them throw things I told them in my face but by then it was just laughable.

[goldenboy7115]

thanks!..I know this, right? But too many women today are shallow. I went to my sister's workplace and she had some girl really interested in me. Telling her I was "hot" and such. Now, here's the fun part. This girl asked my sister, what did I do? So, and I could get my sis' for this..she told her, I was unemployed at the moment, but actively seeking. As you can imagine, that put an end to that No more questions or interest. I think if a woman hears you aren't working at the time,, it's like saying you have a disease. Every and I mean every girl I've ever dated has ALWAYS asked what I did. Well, except when I was in high school. It's like they lose all respect for you or something. How do they know? I worked for 15 years busting my hump for a well known company and was down sized. Not my fault. But I could be secure, you know? Such a shame. I really want to start dating again, but I'm going to have to get around it. One thing though, I do not wish to be dishonest at all with a woman. I'm not allowing her to throw any BS back in my face when the time comes..and oh, it will, LOL!

[Cee]

The simplest fix is to tell a woman what your career is and then mention the recession eliminated your job. Or not even mention being unemployed at first. Simply tell her you are an engineer, project manager, IT, etc. You can explain your profession in a way she will understand and then if she's interested, she'll ask questions.

 

Also, you may be unemployed, but you are occupied. You can talk about what you do in your spare time - volunteer work, home repair, cooking, etc. You take care of your parents so that certainly will come up. The unemployed people I know are busy with lots of projects to improve their lives. At 39, I'm sure you have some interesting things to talk about in your life.

 

People I know who are unemployed are unhappy about it, but still live their lives and date. They are collecting unemployment so they aren't destitute, but they are savvy about saving money.