How do you get a girl away from her boyfriend?

[U1987]

I know this will piss off some people, but I don't think relationships are untouchable and off-limits. People dump their partners to be with other people all the time, so there's no reason to demonize it; a guy would be closing himself off to an extremely high number of quality women if he did.

 

So all I want to know is, if a girl you're talking to casually mentions a boyfriend in passing, or flat-out says "I have a boyfriend," how do you get around that to get her to consider going out with you? Ignore it? Pretend she didn't say it? Or joke about it; saying something like "Fine! He can join us, but it's going to be girl-girl-guy next time." ?

[Nexus One]

How do you get a girl away from her boyfriend?

 

You don't, because you shouldn't come between two lovers.

Edited August 15, 2011 by Nexus One

[U1987]

You don't, because you shouldn't come between two lovers.

 

Once again, relationships are not sacred and untouchable.

[Woggle]

Find a single woman instead. If she does it to him she will do it to you.

[Severely Unamused]

Simple.

 

You get close to her. Have casual conversations with her. Get her to vent about her boyfriend. Focus on areas of her boyfriend that she doesn't like. Then play on that.

 

If their relationship is solid enough, and this girl has strong boundaries, you'll look like some third-wheel, manipulative creep (of course, the fact that this thread was even created in the first place...). Then she'll probably tell you to FO.

 

If not, you'll get your shiny medal.

Edited August 15, 2011 by Severely Unamused

[somedude81]

I think it depends on what context she mentions her BF.

 

If you invite her to do something and she tells you that she has a boyfriend, game over.

 

If she mentions having a boyfriend in conversation, procede with caution. You can do what SU said.

 

The most important thing in getting a girl away from her BF, is that you need to make her believe that you are better than him.

 

Good luck.

[Spices]

If she's telling you that she has a boyfriend then it means she's practically waving an "off limits" sign.

 

Guys have tried to get with me while knowing perfectly well that I am taken. It never seems to stop them from trying! They constantly diss him & tell me that I should give them a chance. To be honest, this behavior is pretty off-putting and annoying, as I'm a very loyal person & only have eyes for the one I'm with. If she's telling you that she's taken then just leave her be.

[Nexus One]

Once again, relationships are not sacred and untouchable.

 

If you have the intention to break two people apart who are perfectly happy in a relationship with each other, then your ethical framework is messed up. There are enough single women around, quality ones too, there's no need to snatch another person's SO away.

 

That being said, if you do something like that and the boyfriend comes after you, then don't be surprised. You might say relationships aren't sacred or untouchable, but there's biology involved. Some guys might decide to defend their territory.

[Severely Unamused]

Find a single woman instead. If she does it to him she will do it to you.

 

Yes. Even if you do what I just suggested, you generally aren't going to hook the most loyal girlfriend. Some extreme exceptions of course. I suppose if you aren't looking for anything serious, then it's fine.

 

Man, I find purposeful sabotage distasteful (no doubt I'm not the only one).

 

Out I go.

[Sanman]

I'm not sure how to do it, but it does seem like a great way to end up with a girl who is likely to leave you for another guy and an angry ex-bf who is very interested in using your face for batting practice.

[U1987]

Yes. Even if you do what I just suggested, you generally aren't going to hook the most loyal girlfriend.

 

Yeah, but if she has had sex with you a few times before she leaves, then what's the big deal? Atleast you got something out of it.

[U1987]

That being said, if you do something like that and the boyfriend comes after you, then don't be surprised. You might say relationships aren't sacred or untouchable, but there's biology involved. Some guys might decide to defend their territory.

 

Yeah, I really don't think that happens as often as film and television has us believe. And besides, I don't see why he would come after me; SHE'S the one who cheated on him, not me.

[Severely Unamused]

Yeah, but if she has had sex with you a few times before she leaves, then what's the big deal? Atleast you got something out of it.

 

Oh, in that case.

 

I suppose if you aren't looking for anything serious, then it's fine.

Of course, if you are just looking for easy sex, you could stick with the single girls you find in clubs. Unless you enjoy the ego stroking that comes with doing this sort of stuff. Which is something that I find immensely amusing.

 

Yeah, I really don't think that happens as often as film and television has us believe. And besides, I don't see why he would come after me; SHE'S the one who cheated on him, not me.

Simple logic: Who is easier to demonise? The faceless man that "stole" his girlfriend? Or somebody that he is close to?

[Richard Friedman]

Yeah, I really don't think that happens as often as film and television has us believe. And besides, I don't see why he would come after me; SHE'S the one who cheated on him, not me.

 

Don't count on guys to be rational in that situation man. By ****ing their girl youve called their manhood into questions, and some guys think they need to take you down to get it back. I do agree though that your average middle class white collar white guy probably wont have the guts to do anything(except maybe post on a website like this). These days men are socialized to take every humiliation with a smile.

[AHardDaysNight]

You don't. Simply that.

[Sanman]

Don't count on guys to be rational in that situation man. By ****ing their girl youve called their manhood into questions, and some guys think they need to take you down to get it back. I do agree though that your average middle class white collar white guy probably wont have the guts to do anything(except maybe post on a website like this). These days men are socialized to take every humiliation with a smile.

 

Agreed. I am sure the OP sees it as not his fault, but the guy beating his face in may disagree about who is at fault. I'm not sure arguing the merits of the issue will work. I don't know though, I know plenty of muscle head frat boys in colleges that would not hesitate to fight over a girl.

[Mme. Chaucer]

So, you've exhausted all of the single women in your immediate geographical area?

 

Anyway, sorry - but I've paid attention to your so far, never successful quest to trick girls into having casual sex with you (by playing that you're interested in them at all, and in having a "relationship"). So far, as long as you've been here, you haven't bagged any. I'm afraid that girls who have a boyfriend are even LESS likely to fall for your crap than a girl who actually is open and interested in meeting men. And, don't forget that there's always the chance that a girl has manufactured an imaginary boyfriend for the sole purpose of getting you to leave her alone.

 

Listen, U1987. Being a creep really is not going to pay off for you in ANY way. Try developing some kind of a moral compass for yourself. People with strong morals and values are attractive.

[Trimmer]

Actually, I am not outraged by the OP's approach, because as others have pointed out, I think it will be a self-limiting/self-correcting process.

 

If you are able to "get a girl away" from her boyfriend, you will have succeeded in attracting a girl who can be gotten away from her boyfriend. By a creep. If that's all you aspire to, then indeed, you will end up with that or something less (like nobody.)

 

On the other hand, as you approach more typical women, your approaches will seem incredibly creepy to them, which will repel them; the harder you try, the more it will steel their resistance to your advances.

 

Nature will balance out.

 

Yeah, I really don't think that happens as often as film and television has us believe. And besides, I don't see why he would come after me; SHE'S the one who cheated on him, not me.

Yeah, I'm sure any guy whose girlfriend you manage to "get away from him" will be thoughtful and completely rational as he considers giving you a beatdown...

[justme37]

There are some crazy people in this world U1987..Sounds like an easy way to get a bullet in the head from some psycho you took a girl from. I don't know about you, but I've never met a woman I'd literally die to go out with

[rafallus]

If she wants to be taken away, she will be without any special treatment from your side.

 

If she doesn't, don't bother.

 

Oh, and ditto on "there may be serious consequences" part.

[Mr. Slim]

Some of the responses on this are interesting. A boyfriend is an imaginary construct; it can be dismissed or created with a thought. A woman can wake up in the morning, decide the sky is green, and that her boyfriend of a year is no longer her boyfriend. No forms to fill out. It's not a binding agreement in any way. If a woman tells me she is engaged or married then I run the other way. A boyfriend to me is just the guy who is currently in first place in a race with plenty of laps to go. There is always competition, whether it's from the obvious suitors you can see or the guy at her job that she compares you too only he's taller, smarter and has a better job (and you never see him).

[Els]

Huh, I don't quite get the logic. He's failed to get any single women to hit him up so far.

 

So he goes for women who are taken? Sorry, OP, but candidly speaking, unless she's a 80 year old married granny, I don't quite see why a woman in a relationship would want to risk it to be with you when even the single women don't.

[serial muse]

throw a snake or something at him, then grab her when they scatter.

[sm1tten]

So he goes for women who are taken? Sorry, OP, but candidly speaking, unless she's a 80 year old married granny, I don't quite see why a woman in a relationship would want to risk it to be with you when even the single women don't.

This is my problem too. It would be harder to get a girl who is even in an unhappy relationship, than a girl who is in no relationship, I'd think - especially since you are telegraphing that you just want to f*ck. Unless you've already got one on the hook I wouldn't go fishing in those waters.

[Severely Unamused]

You know, this reminds me of a story that my father told me a few years ago. When he used to work at IBM, there was another British guy there that told him about a man that slept with his girlfriend. So, the British guy (that was his name) shoved the man to the ground, and ran over his legs with a car. The British guy then fled the country.

 

Crazy world huh?

 

It would be harder to get a girl who is even in an unhappy relationship

Nah, you just go after the crazies/really neglected and unhappy ones. A small number of my friends were in crappy relationships, and would occasionally sleep around, with varying levels of guilt. Usually ended pretty messily.