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lieing boyfriend


diamondette

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diamondette

ok so im 27 and he is 35. we have been dating for just over 3 years and are moving in together in two months. We are also trying for a baby. In general everything is perfect, he loves me and i love him, he makes me feel safe and protected and so on. BUT recently i found out he lies about alot of things, ill give you an example if i say "did u speak to her?" he would say no (even though they text so he bends and hides the truth but he doesnt see THAT as lying). Even when he gets caught he denies it for as long as possible then he says he hasnt lied he has only 'broken a promise or forgot to tell me or didnt see the relevance in telling me' but to me hiding the truth is the same as lieing. i said is that any different to breaking a promise etc? is that ok then to hide the truth then? he said "no i didnt say it was ok" but still wont admit he did wrong.. so even tho he knows he did wrong he still stick up for himself!!! in the end i have to forget im upset for being lied to cos he then plays the victim and somehow turns it around on me saying if you didnt moan i wont lie- but i only moan about his lies! and im sick of it now. His sister and mum told me once he is a compulsive lier but then they both were proven to be a liers too and broke up the whole of his family. now im wondering if the whole family is just messed up and he doesnt no right from wrong! i dont want to break up and i love him to bits but im finding it so hard to trust him knowing he lies to my face and possibly doesnt no its wrong! btw its never about cheating or anything its about watching porn (which i hate) or if he had lunch in the canteen with a female work collegue etc. its always about girls in some way.

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Everything doesn't sound perfect.

 

What about marriage before the baby? Can you support a baby completely by yourself without any help from him?

 

And the lying is a big problem. When your own family tells you he's a compulsive liar, maybe you should listen. So what if they are liars too? Makes it all the more likely that he's just like them.

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I think you are on teetering on the cusp of a whole lotta misery.

 

Step back and evaluate:

 

He is a liar. His own family told you he's a liar. You are about to move in with this, and are trying to reproduce with him? You say you love him, but you sound miserable to me because of the lying. You really want to go all in with a baby and cohabitation?

 

EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!

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