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Current Girlfriend Slept With Acquaintance


olddouche

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I am 26 and I have slept with over 100 girls, until very recently I have been extremely proud of that fact.

 

About six months ago I met a very nice girl who had only been with one man in her entire life.... her name is Naomi and she is 29. Naomi had been separated from her husband for about one year. She had never really gone out and drank or partied that much until she met my group of friends.

 

She would come out to the bars with all of my rowdy guy friends and never really drink that much. She was hit on all the time but she always had an intrest in me.

 

At the time I was a douchebag player who drank too much. I was having sex with a couple different girls, just casual hookups. I tried to kiss Naomi four times before she let me makeout with her. We developed a relationship and finally she told me that she wanted me to be her second..... and we had sex.

 

She asked me not to tell anybody and I respected her wishes. I told her that she should live life and experiment with being single for the frist time. At the time she was just one of many girls that I was sleeping with but I respected her and wanted her to experience life, maybe find a good boyfriend.

 

Not too long after Naomi and I hooked up, she got really drunk and ended up sleeping with an acquaintance of mine. The night it happend Naomi called and sent texts to me but unfortunately I was blowing her off that night to sleep with some other girl.

 

Later that week, a friend of mine told me that Naomi had hooked up with this guy. I called Naomi to confirm the story, she told me that she that it didn't happen. About an hour later she came over to my house and told me the truth. She said "I was so drunk that I barely remember it happening, but I do remember it was consensual sex." She went on to say that she must have walked home afterword and slept in her own bed. "When woke up I felt so ashamed I told myself it was a dream and tried to forget about it.

 

I was very nice to her about this..... I tried to cheer her up saying things like: "it's not the frist time someone made a drunk mistake" and "people usually make that mistake in college, you just made it a little later in life".

 

Many of my guy friends took hazed her for doing this. One of my friends even called her a whore... I think they took it as a perfect example of how no girl is a good girl.

 

I went on having sex with her and didn't really give it much more thought. For six months we kept sleeping together, she was only faithful to me. I on the other hand was terrible, sometimes I would have sex with her and two other women in the same day. On a couple occasions I convinced her to have threesomes with me.

 

I was very happy..... until..... I fell in love.

 

I realize now how immature and horrible I've been. I've had to deal with all the things that I have done to women and all the pain I've caused.

 

and now my ego has suffered a huge assault because some other douchebag has ****ed my girl.

 

Now that I'm writing this I feel really stupid... I deserve all the feelings that I am feeling. I can't stop blaming myself for not being there for her that night. She is the most genuine person I've ever met. She is very supportive and kind, funny and very attractive.

 

I've only seen her drink heavily once and I know that people make bad decisions when confused and drunk. She says that she didn't intend on sleeping with anyone that night, that she just went to a friends house to sleep on the couch and the guy was sleeping in the same room. She had know him for a couple of months... just never thought of him that way.

 

I have a very vivd image of this hookup in my head and it kills me. On top of all of this the guy who hooked up with her just moved in with my best friend. I can no longer hang out and talk about crazy hookup stories with all my friends because it hurts me.

 

Namoi wake's up every day truly happy being with me.... and I wake up and feel a dark cloud of regret cover my heart. I deserve everything that I'm going through.

 

I used to see girls who I hooked up with dating someone, I would feel like I had a one up on that guy........ Now I feel like a loser, and it sucks. And some guy has a one up on me....

 

Love is terrible, but this girl has enhanced my life and made me such a better person. I do not want to hurt her so i'm sticking it out.

 

I guess this is what it feel like to have a soul.

 

Damn it.

Edited by olddouche
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