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Is it perfectly normal to get a little jealous??


NicoleM

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I met a guy online and we hit it off ( or so I think) anyways is it normal to get a little jealous when you see that he's online?? He seems like a nice guy but for some reason I keep I thinking he has ulterior motives.

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I do not feel attached to him at all is the problem. I like him and I think he's a great person but I can't help but think he has ulterior motives and when I see him online that raises my eyebrows even more.

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I see the feeling more as fear; fear of being forgotten, detached, erased, replaced.

 

Fear is a pretty normal human emotion, so normal is a good description of the feeling.

 

TBH, likely owing to the great difficulties I've experienced in relationships over the decades, I really don't feel that fear anymore. Rather, I use the boundaries I've learned from those experiences and accept whatever actions occur, along with the resultant emotions. I don't fear the process.

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Good question, and I am not entirely sure.

 

Jealous is a secondary emotion, that stems from negative thoughts and/or insecurity. There are certain things that have triggered jealousy for me, and I dislike the feeling because it can generate feelings of anger, sadness, etc., and and I just shut down.

 

So, try your hardest to absolve those feelings when/if they occur.

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Just to throw it out there:

 

By noticing that he is online, doesn't that also mean YOU'RE online? I'm not too familiar with dating websites, but I'm pretty sure that's the case. How does he not know YOU have "ulterior motives?"

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It depends actually ( at least on OKC) as long as their profile is public you can see them without actually logging in. However if their profile is private you cannot see when they are online unless you log in and his profile is public.

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