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1yr messy break-up 2months NC and our first post break-up meeting.


chasingstars

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chasingstars

Hi I wanted advice from guys and girls alike. I little background we break up in aug/sept it was full of drama and mistakes and emotional ups and downs. Ended up in court about our daughter (never married). 2months go by and we don't speak at all and don't see each other at all until finally we went to court about arrangements for our daughter. He starts coming by to get her every other weekend we don't speak unless it has to do with our daughter for about a month.

 

I initiated a friendly text which turns into a call about potentially being friends and he expresses he has forgiven me for all the drama and I also sure the same about forgiving him. There is one thing he heard I did (while not together) that he says he is disappointed about; I express this is not his place to cast judgement and he quickly states he understand that how he feels. (Im single I don't need to think about if what I'm doing will make him like me or not I moved on).

 

Anyhow I probe for info on how he feels about what he heard after y bold self empowered statement. He says he would like to speak about it and for e to call him later; I ask him if he would like to discuss over a drink as we are trying to be friends.

 

We end up going for a drink @ 1am I was nervous to call at first but he answered and we went. Its was great we didn't talk about the topic at all just everything and anything else over some wine, we laughed and joked and shared. I know I should have went home while it was good but he then asked "So what are you getting into now" (He had expressed earlier he was restless and didn't want to be home) I asked are you still restless, he nodded yes. I told him there is a pier close by we can go for a walk. (2:30am now) We go seperate cars and walk for a bit taking about the nice view and getting a boat one day (seperately, no couple talks) we then sit down and laugh a bit about his fear for lakes and oceans lol.

 

Anyhow, somehow he said he was cold I attempted to blow war air on his hands and rub his shoulders. From there he puller me over and we started kissing rubbing and making out. LOL no silly people no sex in the park. @4am he said its late we should go I agreed, we walked to our cars he gave me a hug and said I will call you... then turned around again and said "so answer your phone whenever I call".

 

Next morning I freaked out, I remember he was seeing someone... was he still seeing that person... I felt awful. I texted him to tell him I had a great time.. it was an awesome meeting. I then went on to say I'm not like that (making out on first " " date) I lost barings cold him a couple times to express that he said it was OK and he isn't like that too but it was cool. I asked if it was a blow off saying he would call .. he said no he meant it... maybe next the next day but he will call. He said the date was great and specifically in our situation we should keep it simple and if anything blossoms from this then it does.

I think I still like him, but how does he feel? What now? Update: I later found out he is no longer seeing the person he was with after our break-up. I think I'm liking him again and yearning more facetime and he may be a bit more resistant. But coming from the (changed phone numbers, drama new girlfriend, ignoring each other and disliking eachother) To him answering my calls and calling me and meeting up is shocking. I have changed a lot but I feel an onset of anxious behavior brewing. Just want to know do you think he is interested. What is my next move?

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Your next move should be nothing. Don't call him or initiate contact. If he wants to get back together he will make it clear.

There will be no

Smoke signals

signs

ambiguous texts

 

If he wants you back and is serious about starting things back up he will make it clear.If not...then he's a game player, wanted an ego stroke and is not looking for anything serious.

 

The only way to figure it out is to keep up NC on your end and not initiate anything else.

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chasingstars

Thank you " v" for your response. I think NC would be the best way to continue myself. I made the first move; now see what he does. If nothing @ all at least we are now friends and over the horrible break-up phase.

But to keep myself from possible relapse and feeling broken I will continue NC.

 

Thanks you.

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that's wrong, you cannot 'date' the father of your child. typical dating rules do not apply.

 

nor can you simply ignore him. you won't be rid of him until the daughter is past 18 years old and moved away on her own. you need to come to terms with that, you have a child with him you cannot make him go away. what are you going to do, ignore him until he comes and knocks on your door on the friday of his weekend to pick her up? that's completely asinine.

 

nor are you likely 'friends' or over the break up phase. it sounds like he wants to get back together with you. you can't tell him no without telling him no. you'll just wind up fighting and back in court again.

 

but hey, at least your attorneys are getting the best of the situation.

 

the daughter, on the other hand, not so much i'll bet.

Edited by thatone
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