He's confusing me! Sometimes I swear he has multiple personalities! Help!

[Roxy]

Okay, anywho..my ex boyfriend, I love him blah blah and all that good stuff. Well, it's been over a month that he broke up with me and he tells me he loves me and he's a sweety and stuff, but THEN....he'll totally change. Like, at school (he's a senior, i'm a junior), he can be the biggest prick. What's up with that? He got in trouble today for not doing his work..and pretty much being a class clown type...he can usually talk his way out of trouble and he wasn't able to today...anyway, and afterschool I went up to him and I asked him...really sweet...hey, what happen? He like...went all freaking psycho on me. His extact words were..."Get...the **** away from me." I was like...oh..k. I just looked at him freaked out and kinda hurt and walked away. Anywho, but when his other friends come out....mindy, adrian, and andrew, he is all talking to them and blah blah. That really hurt. One moment he tells me that I'll always have him and he loves me and I'm the only one who really understands him BLAH BLAH and then I get THAT side of him. I'm so frustrated and I hate ie because I cannot be mad at him. I love him and he can make me so mad, but then he can get a smile out of me within seconds. I think he's taken advantage of it and it's not fair. I need help! I don't want to give him the cold shoulder, but I want to be able to at least pretend to be mad at him so he won't act like such a jerk at times. And well...we were really close as a couple...we still are, but anywho...so his friends kinda turned into my friends and I trust them to like...inform me on certain things. So I talked to Adrian...because that's the guy hes been mostly hanging out with since we broke up..him and andrew...and they say he hasn't told them anything about us. I know he wouldn't lie to me about that because he knows how much I care...and he thinks that if he tells me, he's gonna get something out of it. He's not...but he hopes. Anyway...my ex hasn't talked about his feelings for me at all or what he plans to do. Whether get back together or not. Etc. To anyone. Does he not care? Why is he such a closed book? Is there anyway I can slowly get him to open up to me? Advice, please! At first he was worse so I stopped making the effort to talk to him and be around him so he would come to me and it's been working so far. He'll actually talk to me and stuff and show more body language and try to make me laugh, etc. But...I wanna know if I can take it a step further. i really care and I don't want to move on to someone else because it hurts too much to go through this again especially at the age of 16. Sometimes he makes me feel like the past two years were like such lies and totally worthless and that really hurts. Advice, please. Thanks

[ThisGirlNameKD]

At 16 years old, I urge you now while you are young, to not let yourself become a door mat for people. If a guy treats you like you say this guy is treating you, it's because he has no respect for you, and it may be because you sit back and take his crap. When you finally decide to put your foot down, suddenly he comes around and want to be cool with you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be there for people and helping them out, but not at the expense of you being disrespected and being treated badly. And if it seems like you're not getting more than what you're investing in this relationship, well, you might want to give this relationship a second thought. Let him know what you are willing to take from him and what you are not willing to take from him and stick to your guns. So if he starts acting like a prick, don't second guess yourself, blame yourself or try to be the sweet girl who wants to bring him out of it. Leave him alone, period.

 

Remember this: self respect and self confidence attracts those who have it, and can repell those who don't. So if you treat yourself with self respect and self confidence and not sit back and take crap from others, other people will have a higher regard for you, and will treat you the same way back.

[Roxy]

Thank you. It helps. I have let him know that I am willing to take him back. He was the one who broke it off because it wants "space because it's his senior year" or whatnot. I miss him. He still tends to get jealous. He won't admit it, but he does. And he'll feel guilty whenever he hugs another girl around me even though I know it's friendly. I'll talk to other guys and he'll just get really hissy-fitty about it. He'll pretend he's playing but after two years, I can pretty much tell. I have been like hit on by these other really great guys...but...the problem is that I seem to attract those with girlfriends and they're most are really good friends of him. So that's not good. LoL. But it's okay because I don't want someone else. It's too...hard. I don't wanna seem conceited, but I dare him to find somone else to love him for who is really he (Chicken legs and all) and that will laugh at him and stick by him through all his tempers. He has a terrible temper. It's kind of scary because it is not a normal temper. He'll get really really mad and like completely tense up and become all stiff...and he'll punch a brick wall...like cut his hand and all...and feel no pain. It's...not normal. Anywho..He's not the most attractive person in the world and he always complains about it, but he has self conidence and the best sense of humor ever and that is attractive to me. He's handsome and all, but he's just a itty bit too thin. Just a tad. He's working on it. He's working out. LoL And he has pretty girly eyes too (sometimes I swear he curls his eyelashes!). LoL. They make me melt. He has adorable big brown eyes. He makes me laugh and he listens and I guess I'm still holding on to that. I'm giving him until his graduation..I'm waiting for him that long and I won't date anyone else this year to show him that I really do care, but I'm not going to tell him that he has until then though. I'm letting him go, and if he really loves me, he'll be back. He would take care of me and I guess I got really used to it..for two years, I had someone to turn to. It was nice. Really nice. And I forget sometimes. I sit with him during lunch and we always sit next to each other. And there's times, like today..where I cuddle up next to him and put my head on his shoulder and just lean on him...and he won't push me away. It's the little things like that that make me see he still cares. I just wish he'd figure things out already. And we'll talk about us as a couple and he will get emotional. He cares. He can never look me in the eye so I'll tell him that I dont believe him, then he'll look at me straight in the eye and tell me he loves me and that i'll always have him and he'll say it so sincerely and so seriously. It just breaks my heart all over again. Well, I'm waiting. I love him. He's my first love. Anywho, I'm gonna just..ignore him to say the least until he apologizes and even then...he's gonna have to work for my trust again. It's gonna be really hard, but I'm working on it. Thanks for the advice. Wish me luck!