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If a guy wants to meet halfway for a FIRST date, what does this say about him?


conehead

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There has been maybe 1 or 2 guys where I met online, we emailed, talked on the phone for a few hours and then he'd ask to meet in person for a first date. When I said yes, he then suggested meeting in a particular town because it is halfway between us (we live 30 miles apart). About 15 mile drive for him and 15 mile drive for me. Does this mean that a guy who suggests meeting halfway is more likely to be a non-traditional guy?

 

Most guys who live far away almost always offer to drive to my town instead of meeting halfway if it's a very first date...one guy even drove 120 miles to meet me in person for the first time.

 

I didn't really think meeting halfway was that big of a deal, until I told one of my friends and she said that the fact the guy used the exact words 'lets meet here because it is halfway' suggests that the guy will probably be the type to go dutch when the bill comes etc. She said meeting halfway is almost as bad as if he suggested splitting the bill on a first date. She said there is nothing wrong with that, but it just tells you what kind of relationship it will be -- one where the guy likes to treat the girl vs one where it's more 50/50.

 

What do you all think about this meeting halfway thing?

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I think your friend is reading too much into this. The guy sounds sensible and not desperate to please a total stranger.

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Untouchable_Fire

I didn't really think meeting halfway was that big of a deal, until I told one of my friends and she said that the fact the guy used the exact words 'lets meet here because it is halfway' suggests that the guy will probably be the type to go dutch when the bill comes etc. She said meeting halfway is almost as bad as if he suggested splitting the bill on a first date. She said there is nothing wrong with that, but it just tells you what kind of relationship it will be -- one where the guy likes to treat the girl vs one where it's more 50/50.

 

Guy Pays = First Date Sex. It's a requirement. Don't believe me... it's in the constitution. :confused::rolleyes:

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I think your friend is reading too much into this. The guy sounds sensible and not desperate to please a total stranger.

My thoughts exactly. A loser without a backbone wouldn't do this, so all information you gain from this is that he's not one of those. Enjoy your date.

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I think it's very reasonable to meet halfway. I wouldn't be offended at all by the suggestion. I have no idea whether it means the guy is more likely to go dutch or not, though.

 

That being said, a guy does score extra brownie points if he makes the entire trip.

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CrestfallenNoMore

How about actually meeting him before you plan out how the entire relationship is going to go? :)

 

Meeting halfway is completely sensible. I'd suggest focusing on the good time you're going to have rather than manufacture issues in your head beforehand.

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TouchedByViolet
How about actually meeting him before you plan out how the entire relationship is going to go? :)

 

Meeting halfway is completely sensible. I'd suggest focusing on the good time you're going to have rather than manufacture issues in your head beforehand.

 

It doesn't surprise me anymore how many females have their imagination built on a foundation of speculation and assumptions. You give a girl one piece to the puzzle and she is painting a life portrait.

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crossfitter
It doesn't surprise me anymore how many females have their imagination built on a foundation of speculation and assumptions. You give a girl one piece to the puzzle and she is painting a life portrait.

 

Bingo. You're friend read way too much into that. Sounds as if he's being practical and sensible.

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RecordProducer

Thirty miles and they want to meet half-way? The guys are married or involved, they are losers and no relationship material. Trust me. Just say no without any explanation.

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RecordProducer
Guy Pays = First Date Sex. It's a requirement. Don't believe me... it's in the constitution. :confused::rolleyes:
I've always had guys pay for me on the first date and NEVER had sex on the first date, so I don't know what you're talking about. But nice to see you, I've missed you. :love: Edited by RecordProducer
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The self-centeredness of women never cease to amaze me.

 

Its like they are all children who can't understand how other people might feel.

 

Any rational adult would find it inconsiderate to expect a stranger to come 30 miles while the other person just waits at home even though its a mutual interest.

Edited by musemaj11
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The self-centeredness of women never cease to amaze me.

 

Its like they are all children who can't understand how other people might feel.

 

Any rational adult would find it inconsiderate to expect a stranger to come 30 miles while the other person just waits at home even though its a mutual interest.

 

I agree..its amazing the self centered princess syndrome most american women have...everythings about them

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I think it's perfectly reasonable to meet half way. I would go for it. I also believe in going dutch, I don't expect the guy to pay for everything. :)

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I guess it makes sense to me to meet halfway. These are two people who don't know one another. Besides, would you really want to meet at a favorite hang-out of yours in your town? What if he's a creep. Do you want him knowing your favorite places?

 

It just seems weird to me to expect a stranger to do all the work.

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TheLoneSock
There has been maybe 1 or 2 guys where I met online, we emailed, talked on the phone for a few hours and then he'd ask to meet in person for a first date. When I said yes, he then suggested meeting in a particular town because it is halfway between us (we live 30 miles apart). About 15 mile drive for him and 15 mile drive for me. Does this mean that a guy who suggests meeting halfway is more likely to be a non-traditional guy?

 

No, in fact this means he is more traditional than most. Would you rather him invite you over to his place for a first date? That could be creepy. There is zero wrong in meeting half way. Stop thinking into it too much.

 

Most guys who live far away almost always offer to drive to my town instead of meeting halfway if it's a very first date...one guy even drove 120 miles to meet me in person for the first time.

 

 

That's desperate.

 

I didn't really think meeting halfway was that big of a deal

 

Clearly... :rolleyes:

 

until I told one of my friends and she said that the fact the guy used the exact words 'lets meet here because it is halfway' suggests that the guy will probably be the type to go dutch when the bill comes etc. She said meeting halfway is almost as bad as if he suggested splitting the bill on a first date. She said there is nothing wrong with that, but it just tells you what kind of relationship it will be -- one where the guy likes to treat the girl vs one where it's more 50/50.

 

What do you all think about this meeting halfway thing?

 

I think you're being too much like every other girl out there and over analyzing everything. Don't follow the herd. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are still really young and just starting to date, because this 'phenomena' is very much normal in the dating lives of adults.

 

Good luck out there.

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I think it's perfectly reasonable to meet half way. I would go for it. I also believe in going dutch, I don't expect the guy to pay for everything. :)

You seem like one of the few sensible women.

 

Perhaps you can offer an explanation as to why most women tend to lack the capability of being considerate to other people? I'm really curious.

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You seem like one of the few sensible women.

 

Perhaps you can offer an explanation as to why most women tend to lack the capability of being considerate to other people? I'm really curious.

 

I wouldn't say that it's just women, it's both genders. I think it has to do with character as well. I always believed in treating others how Id like to be treated. Simple as that. :)

 

I don't think that the OP was inconsiderate though.

 

As for paying for dates, I like to treat my partner out too, it's only fair. He gets dinner one day, I'll cover the next. I'm generally easy to keep happy anyway, relationship wise.

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See, it is behavior like this that I find hilarious. So, he asked you to meet him half way, is that not fair? Do you plan on splitting the check with him or expect him to pay? I certainly have suggested meeting women half way. The reason for that is simply that it is not too inconvenient for either of us. If a woman does not like that than she does not have to date me. I have options. The reason I have options is that I am a pretty good catch and can afford to be picky. So, the question becomes are you willing to do more work for a guy who may be a catch or only date guys you are going to walk all over?

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TheLoneSock
So, the question becomes are you willing to do more work for a guy who may be a catch or only date guys you are going to walk all over?

 

Lol this.

 

I wonder how it worked out with 120 mile away guy?

 

Probably not good at all.

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Lol this.

 

I wonder how it worked out with 120 mile away guy?

 

Probably not good at all.

I can't imagine how desperate that guy must be. Lol

 

I bet he could get a better deal by paying an escort for the gas money he spent to see the woman.

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betterdeal
I didn't really think meeting halfway was that big of a deal, until I told one of my friends and she said that the fact the guy used the exact words 'lets meet here because it is halfway' suggests that the guy will probably be the type to go dutch when the bill comes etc. She said meeting halfway is almost as bad as if he suggested splitting the bill on a first date. She said there is nothing wrong with that, but it just tells you what kind of relationship it will be -- one where the guy likes to treat the girl vs one where it's more 50/50.

 

What do you all think about this meeting halfway thing?

 

I think you think it's bad. I base this on what you have said above.

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I wouldn't say that it's just women, it's both genders. I think it has to do with character as well. I always believed in treating others how Id like to be treated. Simple as that. :)

 

I don't think that the OP was inconsiderate though.

 

As for paying for dates, I like to treat my partner out too, it's only fair. He gets dinner one day, I'll cover the next. I'm generally easy to keep happy anyway, relationship wise.

I disagree that its equally common in both genders.

 

Sense of entitlement is much more prevalent among women.

 

When a guy taking advantage of a woman, he fully realizes that he is mistreating her. But when a woman is taking advantage of a man, chances are she doesn't even think that she is doing something wrong. She just considers it romance. She thinsk, "omg, he drives 120 miles just to see me? How sweet." Instead of thinking, "omg I feel bad that he has to drive 120 miles just to see me. Id better meet him halfway." Like any decent person would.

 

I mean seriously like u said why can't people treat others like how you want others to treat you?

Edited by musemaj11
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When a guy taking advantage of a woman, he fully realizes that he is mistreating her. But when a woman is taking advantage of a man, chances are she doesn't even think that she is doing something wrong. She just considers it romance. She thinsk, "omg, he drives 120 miles just to see me? How sweet." Instead of thinking, "omg I feel bad that he has to drive 120 miles just to see me. Id better meet him halfway." Like any decent person would.

 

I mean how

 

Could you be attracting the wrong types of women? I always make sure to be fair, if my partner goes a distance for me, I'll do the same for him.

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snug.bunny

Maybe his thinking is that you wouldn't feel comfortable having a stranger pick you up at your house on the first date....

 

In any case, I think you should break up with him.

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