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Plenty of fish...experiences?


Illiandra

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Ok so i have been on POF for the past 2 weeks. And im just curious to this online experience.

1. how do i know a guy is interested in a relationship? (besides checking what hes looking for relationship box)

2. how do you manage to multi date all these people? (Ive been getting alot of requests in to go out and chatted with a few on the phone, although i must say that out of every 20 emails i am only interested in 1-2 guys!)

3. I met up with 3 guys so far... one the dinner went well and he just texts me (so i am writing him off because i feel like im wasting my time), 2nd guy looked nothing like his pic, 3rd guy we talk once-twice a week but i felt no chemistry there.

4. there is another guy who seems amazing who i havent met yet!, hes called me 5x out of 7 days and we text almost every day! when he does see me online, he texts me and tells me that soon my account will be closed because me and him will hit off and i wont have to look anymore (ADORABLE!)

5. isnt it odd to go online and the people who are interested in meeting and talking to you see you and seem to get slightly possessive which can be cute sometimes

 

It seems like POF is full of guys who want to hook up or hit the fast foward button on the relationship stages,,, anyone experience this??

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I'm normally able to tell by the way men would attempt to converse. Any form of wink or compliment straight off the bat without trying to get my character is shady. Excessive compliments are far from appealing and it just shows that he's far too focused on how you look.

 

Avoid men who are superficial and don't take the time to read your profile or ask you anything about yourself. Anyone who states how "hot" they are on there profile isn't worth the time of day. If they're so hot, why are they single? :lmao:

 

You can normally get a vibe out of someones profile, there pictures, what they say about themselves. For instance, id stay away from any men who have numerous photos of themselves in bars/clubs or holding women. I'm not interested in that. It's one thing to have female friends, but why do you need to post it up all over your profile?

 

Stay away from men who would come on too strong and pushy (Oh boy to I have quite a few scary stories!). You should also avoid some men who are too fast pace. If they were to just email you today, and expect a date a hour later it's a bit questionable.

 

Get straight to the point and ask them what they are looking for. I find that this is best done in person as you can see how they answer. You can tell when someone is lying or has an agenda.

 

Also, how long have they been on the dating site? People who have been on for years (never closing the account to begin with/meeting someone) are usually single for a reason!

 

Possessive may seem cute now, but it's a bad sign. It can only get worse, think of it this way, you just met the guy, how will he be if your committed?

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rinnix thanks for such a wonderful reply!

 

as for the possessive thing, its just when i log on and they say "get off" theres no reason for you to be there youll be my gf soon hahaha

 

i am never one to date a possesive guy ever!

 

yes ive notice some guys will message OMG ur so hot why are y ou on here and i ignore them or block them! there are a few that ive noticed that say theyve been on for only a few weeks due to their busy work schedules so they would rather find people online.

 

i had one guy talk about how pretty etc and he is getting the chance to know me by just calling me and asking how my day is etc. which is a sigh of relief because it seems like the rest are either quick to meet and hook up. i also even had a guy ask me for my last name (how strange? im sure he wanted to google me!)

 

anyhows, im new to this online dating thing and was overwhelmed by the number of responses, just trying to weed out the psychos

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Ok so i have been on POF for the past 2 weeks. And im just curious to this online experience.

1. how do i know a guy is interested in a relationship? (besides checking what hes looking for relationship box)if they email you they are interested but most of them want sex.

2. how do you manage to multi date all these people? (Ive been getting alot of requests in to go out and chatted with a few on the phone, although i must say that out of every 20 emails i am only interested in 1-2 guys!) Be honest and tell them you are not interested or just delete them.

3. I met up with 3 guys so far... one the dinner went well and he just texts me (so i am writing him off because i feel like im wasting my time), 2nd guy looked nothing like his pic, 3rd guy we talk once-twice a week but i felt no chemistry there. Rarely do they look like thier picture

4. there is another guy who seems amazing who i havent met yet!, hes called me 5x out of 7 days and we text almost every day! when he does see me online, he texts me and tells me that soon my account will be closed because me and him will hit off and i wont have to look anymore (ADORABLE!)Sounds way over confident, watch out for those groomers.

5. isnt it odd to go online and the people who are interested in meeting and talking to you see you and seem to get slightly possessive which can be cute sometimes I see nothing cute in it at all.

 

It seems like POF is full of guys who want to hook up or hit the fast foward button on the relationship stages,,, anyone experience this??

Like I said, MOST are there just to find sex. There are some wierdos out there. I get a first and last name before I go out and I do a public record search and low and behold most have a criminal record of drugs, or abuse of woman. Be cautious.
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5. isnt it odd to go online and the people who are interested in meeting and talking to you see you and seem to get slightly possessive which can be cute sometimes

 

It seems like POF is full of guys who want to hook up or hit the fast foward button on the relationship stages,,, anyone experience this??

 

I was on Match for a month and chronicaled my adventures there in a thread here. It turned out to be a wash and I closed my account. The ones I was interested in, were not interested in me, didn't even respond. The ones who did respond I had no interest in.

 

Then I looked at POF just looking, saw a couple of interesting ones and put up one picture and hardly any description. (Pretty much said I would finish this later, right now I'm cooking dinner: chicken and biscuits and chocolate cake). That's it. And I said what the heck, I'll email the four or five guys that interest me.

 

Well all the ones I was interested in except one emailed me back almost immediately (plus a bunch I'm not interested in). Two of them I'm going to meet.

 

One guy though sent up a red flag. I emailed him, he emailed back nicely, I responded, he responded with his phone number, I said maybe I'd call. He waited less than 24 hours and sent an email saying, "Get you get my email?".

 

I didn't answer wanting to think about it--it seemed pushy and maybe a red flag. It didn't rub me right. I was going to call him, but thought, hmmm, I'll send another email and test the waters.

 

A couple hours later I went to send him an email I saw I had a email waiting, he wrote: "Guess you aren't interested, good luck to you, I'm going to Expensive Restaurant".

 

Oh great, a snit and a write off. Fine with me. I ignored it, but a couple days later wrote back, "I was interested, but seemed to have annoyed or disappointed you somehow. Good luck to you too on your search, Expensive Restaurant is a great place, I hope you had a nice time."

 

He wrote back minutes later. "I only want to interact with people who do what they say they are going to do, and you didn't. Btw I met a great girl last night."

 

Ok, bully for him. I don't know that I promised him a telephone call within 12 hours, but whatever. I deleted him. Dodged a bullet. He's a 50+ retired doctor who goes to expensive restaurants alone and finds great 'girls' to flaunt in front of strangers to punish them for not hopping to fast enough. Yep, dodged a bullet there.

 

Possessive and peevish and demanding. I don't think it's a little cute at all. I think it's a big.red.flag.

 

So fine, I go on with life, and a day or two later what happens? I'm on POF looking at my other emails, and he pops up with a chat request. Why? I'll never know but it struck me as weird and strange and off.

 

The point of the story...and there is one...is that I don't think it's at all cute when strangers exhibit even the smallest sign of possessiveness. Let you disappoint them in the smallest way and they may lash out. No big deal, but if you get involved with them, it can turn into a big deal fast.

 

Just be careful with the ones who are possessive without reason, who move too fast, who assume things without basis.

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There are many types of fishes have been are to be lived in a see and we have to notice that some kind of good work have been connected with the different level of the talking point of the how to maintain the fishes .

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That guys sounds like a nut job. Who calls someone they've never even met before 5 times a week? I wouldn't even do that with a girl I've been dating for years. You better hope things go well or you'll have yourself a brand spanking new stalker.

 

My experiences have been pretty poor. Essentially I get my hopes up and the girl always ends up to be fat and/or ugly. I shrug, get a blowjob, take a shower and never talk to them again. That's how it goes. I was always looking for a relationship on there but I won't settle for bologna when I'm worthy of steak.

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Ok so i have been on POF for the past 2 weeks. And im just curious to this online experience.

1. how do i know a guy is interested in a relationship? (besides checking what hes looking for relationship box)

 

Well you know he's not looking for a relationship when he pushes you for a date within a week before christmas so you'll "be ready to unwrap under the Xmas tree.":p That was OKC though.

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ilovefreshair

POF is one frustrating website, I must admit, but it hasn't been a complete waste of time for me. I have had some good dates and even a relationship developed from the site. We're no longer together but parted amicably.

 

You have to be really discerning and trust your gut, I find. I've yet to have a bad date because I am very selective about the men that I meet. They may not have been the one for me but we still enjoyed our time.

 

I think less is more too. Don't just date for the sake of dating!

 

If a guy sends you a message and doesn't say something that shows that he's read your profile, proceed with caution. If you're really interested, respond and give him one more shot to personalize his response to you... If they can't put in at least that much effort, they are clearly not interested in more than sex OR they are socially challanged. Either way, who needs them? It may sound harsh, but that philosophy has worked out pretty well for me.

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You have to be careful on online dating sites - whether its PoF, or a paying site.

 

Because internet dating is an absolute magnet for people with issues or even serious personality disorders - Borderline, Narcissistic, etc and they are not always easy to idenitfy to the uninitiated.

 

However, there are genunie people on there (me, for example)!

 

You just have to be careful.

 

Just adding to what has been said by other posters:-

 

1. ~Listen very carefully to what they say on first or second date. I do believe that people tell you what you need to know usually e.g. are all the other women they met "crazy" and "bad".

 

2. Meet reasonably quickly once you decide they might be worth it - the temptation is to build up a fantasy figure, which people then do not want to square with reality.

 

3. Be wary of people who want to go fast, who want you to be exclusive quickly.

 

4. Go slowly if you want a real relationship - they take time to build to be true.

 

5. Keep your options open until you meet someone you really like and trust, i.e. feel free to multi-date.

 

6. Don't be too hard on yourself at the beginning if dates don't work out. The more you do it, the better you get at it.

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My experiences have been pretty poor. Essentially I get my hopes up and the girl always ends up to be fat and/or ugly. I shrug, get a blowjob, take a shower and never talk to them again. That's how it goes. I was always looking for a relationship on there but I won't settle for bologna when I'm worthy of steak.

 

as long as you are not into gang rape - unlike the main character in Clockwork Orange who happens to be in your avatar photo. you have seen the movie I assume? only because it's an offensive photo

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Ahh, POF, such a wonderful place. Such a time waster.

 

In defense of some men who send bad/poor emails, I myself am terribly bad at emailing women. I got so tired of the rampant rejection women give men on that site. It's ridiculous. See, I'm fairly good looking, I have a great personality, strong character, good morals, well adjusted, yet I can't get any woman I was attracted to on there to write me back most of the time, maybe once in a blue moon. But it goes nowhere. Why? I just plain suck at emailing. In real life, I have no issues communicating with women and have been very successful in the past. In person I know how to be myself and refrain from acting too interested and coming on too strong. Yet online, I just can't seem to say the right things or probably not come across as desperate to talk to them. I compliment too much. I try too hard. And even though I know this is happening, I can't seem to not be that way online. So as great a catch as I may be, online dating has been a complete failure for me.

 

So while you ladies are saying, don't date this guy if he says this or says that or whatever, it may just be that the guy is unskilled with online communication like I am, but in real life would actually make a good partner.

 

Food for thought...

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So as great a catch as I may be, online dating has been a complete failure for me.

 

So while you ladies are saying, don't date this guy if he says this or says that or whatever, it may just be that the guy is unskilled with online communication like I am, but in real life would actually make a good partner.

 

Food for thought...

 

I am going to be returning to POF soon :D.

 

And I do think there is some truth in this. Just being reasonable about prospects, open-minded and so forth until you talk on the phone or meet (in my mind the real appraisal). I have heard it said that some men are just good online at writing etc and it doesn't mean anything about them in real life where they could be complete jerks (and in fact probably are).

 

But, Von, you shouldn't give up!!!! Just try harder with all the knowledge you now have :)

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I am going to be returning to POF soon :D.

 

And I do think there is some truth in this. Just being reasonable about prospects, open-minded and so forth until you talk on the phone or meet (in my mind the real appraisal). I have heard it said that some men are just good online at writing etc and it doesn't mean anything about them in real life where they could be complete jerks (and in fact probably are).

 

But, Von, you shouldn't give up!!!! Just try harder with all the knowledge you now have :)

 

Hmmm, yes I had been trying harder. But I have messaged every woman within a reasonable distance from me that I am attracted to (pics and profile) and have gotten no where. All that's left are woman that are completely not my type or I am not turned on AT ALL physically. And several of those ones are stalking me. So I've gone into hiding until either A, I find someone in the real world, or B, someone teaches me how to write emails that don't sound like I'm a wuss or too nice/needy. Lol

 

I've mentioned before in another thread that I know a guy on there that gets with probably 15 girls a month, so I wish I knew whatever it was he is saying to get them interested, I wouldn't do what he does as far as hit it and quit it, I just want to know what he says to get there attention because I sure as heck can't. And this guy is nowhere near as good looking as me and is a complete jerk in real life. Go figure...

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Well if you have that much to offer, you owe it to yourself, and the world, to get out there again

 

truly :)

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as for us girls, i think its more scary & dangerous to meet up with someone. (in case if they are psycho)

but for the most part ive currently only met 3 guys the first two were total losers,, 3rd one is great and meeting a 4th one at the end of the week. as for the guy calling me during the week, i think this is great because it takes off the edge of the first date, or whatever yoou want to call it.

 

the problem i have with POF (its free, which is good, but hard to weed out exactly the good ones vs. the bad ones... or to figure out what each of the guys want) i know there are some profiles that scream player, or possessive, or some type of red flag!

 

i do believe that on POF the girls get more emails. I have a male friend who is very attracted and receives half as much emails as i do! so that being said, guys dont be too hard on yourselves, but its hard when you log in and you have anywhere from 20-30 emails to sift thru. most emails are lame (hi, your cute, how was your weekend) if you take the time to write something cute and original your chances maybe better?

 

 

as a side note, my guy friend met up with a model... turns out she was a model 10 years ago and put on 50lbs and was looking for a quick hook up and someone to buy her drugs and alcohol!!

 

ahh the joys of internet dating...

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ahh the joys of internet dating...

 

 

Indeedy!

 

Some men get pissed off :confused: that they don't get that many emails compared to women. Women possibly get more emails (I don't get 100s by the way, maybe 1 or 2 a day but my intelligence and interests are not to all men's tastes naturally :o) but we have no control over the quality! My first email on PoF today was a lame line from a fat chef offering me some "afters" he called it ....

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Illiandra, how old are you if you don't mind saying?

 

See, that's part of my problem, my emails are lame. I go back and re-read them and I think to myself, "dude you sound dumb"... And I do take the time... I just don't know what to say. I don't get the disconnect between real life and online as to why I can't talk online like I do in real life. I keep thinking if I wrote out what I would say in real life in an email it would come off WAY wrong because I'm so sarcastic.

 

Like when I'm out I usually start convos with women I don't know with something funny and sarcastic... Like "could you please stop staring at my ass, thanks". But because of my body language and facial expression they always think the things I say like that are hilarious and I can then easily go into a normal conversation or keep being funny. Do you get what I mean?? And sometimes I just say "whats up" and we start talking. The last girl i was dating, the first thing i said to her was "who are you" with a very serious face. And we were together 4 months. But if I send an email with "what's up" you women file it into the "lame" email category. See why I'm frustrated??

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try and be natural, happy, curious.

 

but biting humour or sarcasm, sexual humour, too generic e.g. "hows it going" not very exciting.

 

i think the thing is not to overthink though and keep moving like a shark through water .... :D

 

and even if you do write a brilliant email (which the woman might appreciate) she may not like your photo, your job, the football/basketball team you support ... who knows :confused:

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try and be natural, happy, curious.

 

but biting humour or sarcasm, sexual humour, too generic e.g. "hows it going" not very exciting.

 

i think the thing is not to overthink though and keep moving like a shark through water .... :D

 

and even if you do write a brilliant email (which the woman might appreciate) she may not like your photo, your job, the football/basketball team you support ... who knows :confused:

 

Natural, happy, and curious are like emotional states to me. What I need is WORDS to convey that. There lies my issue. What words to use to convey myself and That builds enough interest in women for a reply.

 

Ya I'm like a shark in the real world, online I'm like a guppy...

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as long as you are not into gang rape - unlike the main character in Clockwork Orange who happens to be in your avatar photo. you have seen the movie I assume? only because it's an offensive photo

 

It's an offensive photo if you're some kind of friggin nunn. That's a great movie AND a great book, sorry if you couldn't handle it.

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Disillusioned

Forget about POF. I never caught one fish during my 6 months on that site.

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Forget about POF. I never caught one fish during my 6 months on that site.

 

I caught 5....but they were all carp.

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